Why is it that we take others opinions about ourselves so seriously? I’m sure I’m not the only one who wonders this, but not many of us actually take the time to actually sit down and think of an answer. Why is it that we want so badly to fit in with the crowd?

We’ve all fell victim to this seemingly common situation where we feel like we need to fit in with others, to be just like everyone else. For us teens the most popular situation where we face these obstacles is at school. Whether you’re new to the school or not, fitting in is always a challenge. Stereotypically as demonstrated in most teen movies, every school has the popular people of the school. Everyone knows them, wants to be acknowledged by them, or simply wants to be them. Students tend to judge your “rank” in popularity based on materialistic things like money and beauty, or if you’re keeping up with the latest trends in fashion. So in an attempt for one to have a feeling of belonging within a school we often mimic the behavior of those we wish to be accepted by.

However I’m beginning to question why we don’t feel comfortable enough in our own skin. Are we that insecure about ourselves that we change who we are just to be considered “acceptable” by others, and society? Why does no one bother to question the behavior of others, who are they to decide how one should dress, act, or speak? And even when we know it’s wrong we still allow them to walk all over us. Although I say words like “they”, and “their” I’m honestly talking about us. Unfortunately in this society we feel we have the right to judge each other. I understand each individual has their own beliefs, opinions, and ideas, but why do we feel we must force them upon others? What are we aiming for, and how will it accomplish anything?

When we judge each other we’re creating this continuous circle of hate, then we complain about how screwed up society is. I understand that everyone wants to be liked, and accepted but why must we settle for others benefit? I understand that at times its best to alter, and adapt to new situations, but that doesn’t mean we erase everything that defined who we were to create something completely new, we’re simply adding on to who we are already to better ourselves. But we’re all so focused on money, beauty, and fame, when in reality it doesn’t always satisfy us. Instead of approving others for such materialistic items, why not by character, and personality.

I’ve lived many places, and have met plenty of people to know that judging someone based on their items does not mean they’re good, or bad people. I’ve met a number of people who were considered popular due to their beauty, yet they would have the ugliest personality. Then I would meet someone who was seen by others as an outcast, yet they had a good heart, and the nicest personality. And vice versa. I’m not saying all popular people are rude, or that those who’re not popular are more well mannered, because it truly depends on the person. I’m simply saying that the judgement of others should be based on something much more than vanity. Besides wouldn’t the relationship with others be worth so much more if they accepted us for who we are individually, instead of who we’d be if we allowed society to overpower, and cloud our judgement . We should learn to be more independent of others beliefs, and learn to love ourselves first.