Twenty-one million people are enrolled in American universities, where four-year degrees cost $85,000 ($137,000 for out-of-state students). We are flooded by the greatest evil known: debt. College tuition continues rising, leaving crippling debt in its wake. These exorbitant figures do not consider the price of elite universities or small liberal arts colleges. Our youth are forced into college by the contrast in median salary between high school and college graduates.

College tuition destroys the American culture and dream. How can our population successfully get married, purchase material excess, mortgage a house, and have kids with this albatross? In order to save the American Dream, we ought to arm the youth for success and reduce the cost for education. Reforming college admission standards or the bloated bureaucracy would be inconsequential and detrimental to schools’ profitability.

What can be done? Simple--start a war.

I suggest avoiding the run-of-the-mill, free-the-people, implement democracy type mission. A controversial, destructive war will satiate our dilemma. Fights against terrorism and communism are not just, because they do not warrant enough destruction. The American military cannot decimate entire countries based on perceived threats (sojourning in sovereign borders) to our national security. Our country craves oil for sustenance, but it’s not reason for war. Oil requires tangible returns, not chaos and merciless murder. Thus, another war in the Middle East is not the answer. Vietnam’s purpose was minimal. The US propagated fear that communism would spread. Communism’s lack of palpability allowed years of fighting to endure. Nuclear warfare is unviable due to our economy’s reliance on paranoia. Paranoia will reduce after the imminence of nuclear warfare has dissipated, damaging our economy. We must not foil the tin-foil hatters’ theories by avoiding the nuclear option and retain our economic benefit derived from paranoia.

The public perceives China and Russia as threats. Developed countries would back our cause, mitigating our net benefit. Invading allies and assassinations aggravate more countries, creating world wars. The polarization of countries after the Sarajevo incident prompted World War 1. Thus, the US should invade Europe.

America cannot withstand a metaphorical competition war. Enormous education and defense budgets stifle our ability to compete globally. Our education ranking has plummeted in recent decades, with Europe and Eastern Asia reigning superior. No route exists for American students to compete with foreign students who pay minimal tuition because we do not value affordable education or hard work. We must regain control the American way, through war. The US emerged from the rubble of World War 1 as a dominant force and left Europe in disarray. This ultimately caused World War 2, further benefiting the US. The saying goes, “If you can’t beat them mentally, beat them physically.” Why not admonish and annihilate all adversaries and reestablish the United States’ number one ranking?

Technology has led us astray, away from the glories of war where we could proudly say goodbye to our beloved young men and women as they left to fight for our nation's cause. Today, drones mercilessly destroy terrorist hideouts and children's schools without risking our nation's men. Our military should not cower behind RC vehicles because it causes tuition to mount inexorably by keeping our men safe at home (see the GI Bill). We need boots on the ground.
The war plan is simple and swift. Quickly conquer Norway, Sweden, and Finland, hoping Russia joins to reclaim their former satellite states, helping destroy Europe’s Eastern front. Within several weeks, the US will have worked its way through Germany, Poland, Belgium, the Netherlands, and will be applying the finishing touches to France, Spain and Switzerland, before we turn our attention to the UK and Ireland. By this time, our adversaries in Asia will cause each other’s demise. Imperialistic tendencies will reignite in China, Korea, and Japan, inflaming unresolved tensions, benefiting the US without our direct involvement.

The goal here is brevity. Americans are bullish of their abilities, especially in war. The American Revolution, Civil War, World War II, and Vietnam conflict were intended to last a few weeks, but prolonged for years. This war needs to follow suit, allowing prosperity on every level.

It may seem like I’ve diverted from the initial goal of reducing tuition and focused on the reasons for war. This is intentional. All citizens of the United States will immensely benefit from this war. Building bombs causes our economy to boom, blasting away foreign markets. Without Europe and Asia in the world market, the United States will have supreme control. Prospering economies decrease inflation, thereby also decreasing the cost for education. Without Europe and Asia competing on an educational level, we will not need to throw excessive money at our inefficient system. And, morbid as it may sound, high casualty rate in the war will help reduce the cost of education for the remainder of our citizens.

Let me address your concerns. I want to help you see the logical argument presented.

The draft is the most prominent issue. Enrolling in college allows men to avoid the draft, an issue during Vietnam. After the conflict was resolved, college enrollment continued to rise exponentially. Basic understanding of supply and demand shows that reducing enrollment will decrease the cost for college. This crisis requires complete reform and abolition of the draft. Enlist all the young adults for mandatory service. Get the youth involved in government affairs. Reduce civic apathy. Our democracy was founded on beautiful ideals and people's voices. Apathy has destroyed that. Forcing service will eliminate apathy, even if it means our youth’s voices are heard in protest.

Abolishing the draft abolishes sexism. For years, women have fought for equal rights, and at last they shall receive it. Mandatory service shall be gender neutral. Statistics show that women are far more likely to attend college. Without the draft, college enrollment for women would decrease, greatly benefiting everyone economically.

Don’t want your children to go to war? Well, personally I find that offensive. Embarking on the path of college debt has negatively impacted me. It’d be unpatriotic to not support our nation’s endeavors to help our own children.

Does this all feel removed from you? Do you not see any direct benefit? Still feeling cynical about any education funding? Feel as though your tax dollars shouldn’t go to help others? Feel there aren’t enough tax loopholes to allow you to benefit? Well, I say we must arm the youth for success. Don’t let tuition cripple them. Instead, let landmines do it at a fraction of the cost.

Alternatives to war are shot down as you realize the immense benefits for the United States. God bless America.