go screw yourself fat man!! | Teen Ink

go screw yourself fat man!!

March 19, 2013
By TheCurlySqueirl BRONZE, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
TheCurlySqueirl BRONZE, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

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Old Saint Nick and the corruption of The U.S generation
Ho Ho Ho, marry spend your money and take over your established organization and generation!
For many years we as the American people have looked to one historical figure for a feeling of both warmth and love of others in the spirit of the season and just to have that unforgettable feeling of kind, compassionate, and just plain gity feeling you receive when you give someone you care for a present. Yes, this figure is none other than the fat man, St. Nick, Santa. He has gone by many names or as some people of an authority jurisdiction would say personas. But let’s not pee around the bush; I am here today to tell all of you readers of this lie of a man. To tell you all to NOT TRUST THE FAT MAN!!!!!! He has lied to our children for over a century and has tricked them to do the right things and be good all year for the promise of toys and sweets, but this is all a lie used by the government to gain both money and control of the American people! I can still hear that good old folk tale that parents would tell their children of good old St.Nick of how you better not hide; you better not shout you better not … wait WHAT!!!! Since when did anyone actually read the lyrics to that tale? Hide… Shout… this isn’t a good old folk tale; it’s a murder certificate with a big fat President Bush stamp on it! But my good people please do not feel discouraged by this terrible obese sugar loving pimp, for he is only a over fed figment of our imagination. Not many people remember that Santa Clause or St. Nick was actually a good man known as St. Nicholas a Bishop who lived in the fourth century AD in a place called Myra in Asia Minor (now called Turkey). He was a very rich man because his parents died when he was young and left him a lot of money. He was also a very kind man and had a reputation for helping the poor and giving secret gifts to people who needed it. There are several legends about St. Nicholas, although we don't know if any of them are true Because of the SHEER Fact that they are completely ridiculous!!!! I know im not the only one who has been lied to all of their lives by the so called parents…I know im not the only one who was only a seven year old who spent the whole night with cookies and milk and a big overly exerted smile on my face anxiously waiting for a overly obese man in a big red suit, with a long beard as white as the winter snow, and a swarm of little people with abnormally pointy ears to come down my chimney and welcome me to the wonderful world of Christmas with a brand new shout gun… ok maybe I was the only one on the last part, but everything else at first everyone did! Trust me when I say that everyone has felt this pain and stood and said yes this has happen to me. If you still wont take my word for it then I must say my own experience and pain from the hands of the fat man…you brought this upon yourself! When I was only Five my first realization that Old St.Nick was nothing but a pawn wasn’t a happy one, my father was a very nice man he would always tell me stories of how he was in direct contact with the big man himself, how if I were bad he could call him and I would get coal for Christmas. Being the naïve little child I believed everything he said and behaved until that fateful night…when… Santa… robbed…my… house! Yes it’s true my fellow readers he did rob my house and instead of leaving presents he took them and I sat and watched. I asked him why he was taking my presents. And all he said was s***…and ran out of the house. As he ran I wondered why he didn’t take the chimney. My father was very mad at me but I told him that it was only Santa and that’s when he told me the truth of the nation wide lie…After he told me I questioned everything was the tooth fairy real? What about the President? Was he too just a pawn I the government. I’m sure your experience wasn’t as messed up as mine but it was close, so next time you see Santa in the mall or on the street, KICK THE CRAP OUT OF HIM FOR HIS LIES TO AMERICA!!!!. The truth is out fat man, deal with it…


The author's comments:
santa clause must end the hate!

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