Helicopter Parents | Teen Ink

Helicopter Parents

December 6, 2012
By Anonymous

Tiger Moms in Asia are known throughout the world as some of the strictest parents, but their American counterparts can be just as vicious when it comes to their children if in a different way. “Helicopter parents” is the term used to describe parents that “hover” or have an over-controlling or overprotective role in their son’s or daughter’s life (Birgitte).
(Dempsey)
Overprotective parents are becoming more and more prominent in everyday society, and many are questioning whether this method of parenting is actually positive or negative for the child involved. Overall, the results are negative for the child, and overprotective parenting will almost always bring more harm than help for both the child and society as a whole. If studies consistently show that helicopter parenting is damaging, why do helicopter parents exist?
Helicopter parents do have their reasons for acting with such indulgence on their child’s safety and future, but these reasons can vary greatly which may explain the increase of such parents in the world today. A lot of parents protect and control their children because they lack a sense of security in order while living in an uncontrollable and erratic world. Many believe that without their interference and aid, their children will fail. Others can be on the other side of the equilibrium and restrict their children because they might succeed and become independent from their parents. This reason originates from the wish to feel needed by most parents. More causes include that it empowers parents to have such control, or they wish to live out their own dreams through their children (Overprotective “Helicopter Parents”…).

Even though the isolation and restriction of a child’s life can vary, almost all helicopter parents fear their children making mistakes. What they do to impede this fear is what results in all the consequences that can occur. The most common domineering parents will control their child’s schedule, communications, schoolwork, music, career, extracurricular activities, and even friends. Although not seeming as drastic, adults who brag children’s success and show embarrassment children’s mistakes are also showing the signs of “hovering” (Birgitte). If parents began to think that a child could not succeed in school on his/her own, they may even begin to do their child’s homework which happens more often than is mentioned. Parents of more extreme latitudes will even fight their child’s battles for them whether with a teacher, employer, friends, or spouse (Overprotective "Helicopter Parents”…). The most extreme parents go a step further when they create a buffer system between a child and the world, so the child will experience no pain such as a scraped knee or slight burn (Marano).

What effect does overprotecting actually have on children? The most often consequence of helicopter parenthood is a complete inability within the child to adapt to any obstacle and with this comes frustration and emotional outbursts involving anxiety. The child does not fully understand that if there is something wrong in his/her life or there is an added responsibility that he/she can change in order to solve the situation (Birgitte). Overall, confidence levels are usually lowered because the youth has been questioned his/her entire life. Some people when they become free of their overprotective parents fall into depression while others do the exact opposite and begin high risk behaviors. Studies have shown that effects may also include attention disorder, weight loss, faulty immune systems, lack of cognitive and motor skills, and a lack of empathy (Birgitte). Marano wrote in his article, “The severity of student mental health problems has been rising since 1988, according to an annual survey of counseling center directors…But in 1996, anxiety overtook relationship concerns and has remained the major problem. The University of Michigan Depression Center, the nation's first, estimates that 15 percent of college students nationwide are suffering from that disorder alone.”

A few positive effects do exist but are minimal and hard to come by. Overprotective parenting usually does lead to the child living throughout elementary and adolescent years and usually gives him/her a strong sense of caution and hesitation (Overprotective Parents). These positive effects are quite scarce.

Helicoptering parenting is becoming an increasingly more prominent issue throughout the first-world countries including the United States and most of Europe. Serious medical and sociable hindrances often form as a result of this controlling and harsh parenting style. Overall the positive results are meager in comparison. There are many different sites available to anyone searching for more information on this topic or looking for assistance with overprotective parents which happens to be indicating there is a problem to the parents. Children, no matter their age, need to have a level of freedom and responsibility to make their own choices and own mistakes in order to develop fully and to prepare themselves for the real world.


The author's comments:
I received the idea for this piece through my close association with a lot of helicopter parents. Almost all of my friends or family have some form of overprotective parenting happening in their lives while I luckily do not have helicopter parents. My friends complain of not being able to buy the music they want due to the existence of a single curse word in the lyrics or remark the severity of their parents whenever they receive a B- on a test. My grandmother would do her son's homework (my step-uncle) because she feared he would fail on his own. My aunt is under the notion that my 18-year-old cousin should stay home with my aunt for college while my uncle is under the notion to boast of his children's greatness at every possible moment that might have the slightest relevance to the topic at hand. I love my family more than the world, but I cannot help but see the evidence of their "hovering" especially after researching this topic more. Personally, I do not have helicopter parents. My parents let me watch and listen to what I want knowing they can trust me to not do something foolish which, in a way, is its own form of pressure. This pressure, however, relies on responsibility and trust rather than fear and distrust. I hope you enjoy the article (my first submitted) and my inspiration note. If you found both of them annoying or irritating in any way, I am truly, dreadfully sorry.

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umhi said...
on Dec. 16 2013 at 11:20 pm
omg yes! I totally agree with all of your points in this article. Great job. I couldn't have found a better article to  DESCRIBE MY LIFE THANK YOU