We imagine a knight in shining armor when we think of heroic figures. Knights were not always seen in this positive light. In the middle ages, during the origin of knights, they were seen as “hired thugs,” according to Jennifer Goodman Wollock, professor of medieval studies at Texas A&M University. These heavily armed men were especially known for “violence, looting, and raping,” Wollock added. Decades later, in the 11th and 12th centuries, knights had conformed to a code of professionalism, or chivalry, as we know it today. As feminism argues that chivalry should be dead, I insist that chivalry cannot simply be “canceled” and can and should exist today. 

The definition of chivalry has changed over the centuries. At first, it was a moral code for knights, then military ideas, and in recent times, it is how men should treat women. The feminist movement has gained popularity and strength over the last several decades as many women have made history in politics, sports, and media. With this, feminists argue, “I don’t need a man.” Evie Magazine stated,

 “Nowadays, women can get PhDs and full-time, well-paying jobs. We can buy our own food and pay our own rent. We’re not usually being hunted by a wild animal that weighs more than we do. We can travel the world on our own. If we want to have children, we don’t have to have a relationship with a man — we can just get a sperm donor or have a one-night hookup or adopt a baby. So yes, “I don’t need a man” seems like a completely true statement.”

While all of this is true, I don’t believe these alternative solutions are adequate replacements for a male presence in a woman’s life. Having a one-night hookup and having a child does indeed work, but what are the long-term effects? 

The child is raised by a single parent, which feminism argues is completely fine and a responsibility women are more than capable of handling. Melanie Wasserman, an economist at UCLA, shares that girls raised without a biological father are more likely to internalize their problems. In boys, the effects are significantly consequential. Boys are more likely to “exhibit externalizing or acting out behavior” and perform poorly in school compared to their peers, Wasserman states. Wasserman shows how significant the presence of a father is to a child’s mental health. 

Human biological processes also explain why chivalry exists in intimate heterosexual relationships. Donna from Owlcation.com uses research and studies from psychologist Richard J. Crisp to decipher laws of attraction for men and women.

 Men find attraction in physical qualities, while women consider many different aspects of traits when assessing attractiveness. Therefore, men tend to show appreciation and care through physical means (holding/opening doors, offering their jacket, showing physical boundaries, etc). 

At the same time, women express this by giving up their time, verbal assurance, and emotionally supporting their partner. Cultural and social differences are also worth noting when explaining attraction between men and women. 

Understanding how men and women behave based on human biology and phycology is important to consider when discussing social norms. 

Traditionally, chivalry has been the treatment of women by men. However, courtesy never was gender specific. Being polite and courteous should become a social norm regardless of sex, gender, or orientation. Making someone else feel appreciated is timeless and never out of style.