If you were to ask me what it’s like being a 16 year-old in high school, I’d tell you it sucks. It doesn’t suck because I struggle making friends, or because my teachers don’t understand me, or because that jealous girl called me uglier than her on social media — it sucks because every time I get a grade that isn’t deemed “acceptable,” I lose confidence. Not just in my overall academic performance, but in my self image. We’re told as kids that if you try your hardest, good things will happen. But what happens if you continuously give it your all and aren’t rewarded? If you flunk your geometry test despite the hours you spent studying? Or fail that English paper you poured your heart into? What happens next?

I think as students we’re taught to answer questions. We’re told to answer questions XYZ on a page, but we aren’t taught to ask. And maybe when we do ask, we don’t get the answers we’re hoping and looking for. So when I ask why grades are so important in defining a person and making you feel worthy, is there even a right answer? Take Holden Caulfield for example. In his story, Catcher in the Rye, J.D Salinger does an excellent job at portraying what being a teenager is like. He regards the main character, Holden, as an unreliable narrator, who spends most of the time contradicting his thoughts and feelings. But the novel itself doesn’t focus enough on the fact that Holden himself, is so wrapped up in the idea of “perfect,” to truly live and enjoy life. Because after being kicked out yet again from another school due to his grades, he doesn’t believe in himself. But then again how can he believe in himself if his teachers see him as a dumb kid with bad grades? If they can’t recognize his potential and intelligence because they’re too focused on a letter?

There’s this whole ordeal that goes: how can you love someone if you don’t love yourself? The same goes for: how can others believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself? But if you think about it, how can we believe in ourselves if others don’t give us the opportunity to? In order to believe in ourselves, we have to feel good about ourselves and our performance (academic and non academic). But to feel good about our performances, we have to have confidence. And where does this confidence come from often? The answer is, intelligence. Where does intelligence come from exactly? Some can argue that it comes from being able to learn rights and wrongs, and others argue that intelligence is defined by the grades you get. Yet if every paper, every report, every assignment we do, is graded so black and white, how will we ever learn what’s correct? What’s good and not good? For example, your English teacher’s professor’s professor taught them how to grade. But based on what exactly? What defines intelligence?

Psychologist Dr. Howard Gardner once wrote about how intelligence can be interpreted in more than one way. In his theory of Multiple Intelligence, he describes how individuals who possess not only linguistic and logical aspects, but kinesthetic, visual, and even musical skills, can be deemed intelligent. If we are taught this in basic psych, then why is it that it hasn’t been implemented in the way school uses grades to gauge our intelligence?

Take our AP Language and Composition book for instance; author Francine Prose argues that, “the pleasure of surrender to the world of a book is only one of the pleasures that this new way of reading — -and teaching — -denies.. It reduces our respect for imagination, beauty, art, thought..” (I Know why the Caged Bird Cannot Read). Prose focuses on the idea that education nowadays requires children from young ages to read certain books and persevere in literacy and their ability to write. She challenges the purpose of education, and gives insight on the impact certain books students are forced to read, have on their learning, as I challenge the way in which school uses grades to determine our academic successes.

So why and how exactly does school use grades to gauge our intelligence? The other day after visiting a college fair, I went home and looked up “How to get accepted into college.” The first thing that popped up was a list of things that students should strive for while applying to their dream schools: good grades, high test scores, and involvement in school and extracurricular activities. On the list, one of the reasons why getting good grades is important, is because it boosts your confidence. It also opens the door to scholarships and new opportunities. I don’t disagree, but I also don’t fully agree. Why? I’ve taken into consideration the intricacies that come into place while reviewing applications. Yes, it’s understandable that a 4.0 GPA student is more likely to get accepted into a certain college than a 3.5, or a 3.4. But it isn’t fair to assume that the 4.0 student is more likely to succeed than the 3.5 student because of their grades.

There are many idiosyncrasies that establish an individual’s identity, and make them intelligent. But other aspects, such as grades, should not. For what is it in a grade that gives others the audacity to deem someone more knowledgeable? Who’s to say that a grade is what defines our ability to acquire and apply knowledge? There is something deep inside of us that possesses more worth than a letter can ever establish. It’s the ability to recognize our worth as a person, student, or performer, despite what society perceives as a “good” grade. Because really, what even is a grade?