Starbucks- Meet Your Owner | Teen Ink

Starbucks- Meet Your Owner

June 9, 2014
By Dania Codling BRONZE, Mission, Other
Dania Codling BRONZE, Mission, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Starbucks Coffee.

Let’s just make this plain and simple. Straightforward exposure at it’s finest.

That picture up there is seen all too often. Smooth white cups accompanied by those cardboard sleeves in hand. The green mermaid logo captured on every building corner. Public trash bins filled to the brim with those venti cups and beige snack bags. Students hold it, business meetings offer it, over tired moms drink it, the person sitting across from you on the bus, construction workers drink it, every dashboard of every car in traffic supports it, little kids carry their mini sized cups around after school, teenage girls giggle and sip and giggle some more, that skateboarder who passed you, policemen congregate to drink it. That little white cup is creating a big culture.

The idea of the atmosphere of Starbucks and quality coffee has turned into a subconscious form of worth to almost every human being walking down a busy street sidewalk, sipping their daily. People don’t just go to Starbucks for the coffee. They go for the brand and the service. They go to show their know-how of ordering. Their fancy phrases and lingo all play a part in that feeling of power. Having a Starbucks in your hand as you walk from your car to your office shows where you’ve been this morning. That you prioritize specialty coffee and taste. You prioritize that service and have received your Starbucks “love” for the morning. Starbucks is “the best of the best.” They know how to treat their customers and offer variations to their drinks. At Starbucks you are not limited in selection by any means. You have full power to alter their drinks to your benefit. You have a feeling of control over it all and the employees are only their for your service.

So this is where we are at in society? This is the normal, everyday routine for millions of people? Starbucks.

The people in our day and age find their daily comfort, security, power, worth, success, connection and relate ability in a cup of coffee? Interesting…

Okay, so let’s look at some numbers here for a second just so that we can see the sense and logic behind what should be so obvious as buying a Starbucks coffee every morning.

Say that you are a business person, commuting daily into the city for work. Of course, our culture says that Starbucks coffee is a must have in order to appear to be of any significance and so, you grab a five dollar coffee every morning before hitting the traffic on you way to work.

That doesn’t seem so bad….What’s five bucks anyway? I mean, you’re paying for your worth, security, image and power as well as that steamy coffee right? Hmmm, well let’s see. Five, plus five, plus five, plus five, plus five. That would be the total of you know, the whole work week worth of coffees. Multiplication comes in and makes things easier for us, leaving us with twenty-five bucks spent on commuter’s coffee each week.

That number is manageable, you guess, so you make it a routine. After all, Starbucks leaves you feeling completed, right? More like, the lack of a daily Starbucks leaves you feeling empty and incomplete. Anyways, this routine continues week after week. Nothing to worry about right? No, no, no, it’s FINE, you’re paying for later. You’re going through the annual bills and receipts. All that unimportant junk that every once in a while, has to be sorted out. You’ve finished going through all the piles of receipts except one. Your Starbucks receipts. It was just random chance that this big pile was left for last right? Maybe. Maybe not. That wasn’t at all a flutter in your stomach as you reached over for the pile right? Just innocent hunger, that’s all. Stomachs were made to want food……”but coffee wasn’t made to control your worth.” Oh SHUT UP. You say to your stupid thoughts.

The numbers start to slowly add up. Receipt by receipt. Five dollars by five dollars. It was WORTH it…. Uhhuh, riiighht. The final number has raked in. Why are you shaking?! It’s your worth. It WAS worth it, right? One Thousand, Three Hundred and Five dollars of worth to be precise. That’s only counting the daily “work” coffees. Not including the extra scones and muffins, special outings, holiday treats, and paying for friend’s orders as well. No that’s just your basic, daily worth.

It’s all okay though. Thousands of Americans do it. It must be right. Plus, they put happy faces on the cup sleeves beside the names of their customers. Everyone needs a friendly happy face to greet them in the morning. Even if they’re paying over a thousands bucks for it.

Interesting….

How about that treat receipt promotion? Lot’s of people commented about this promotion by saying, “I’m definitely going to take advantage of it!” Oh I’m sorry my naive little student. Have you not heard of what this promotion is? If not, let me explain:

The Starbucks treat receipt is a promotion that generally runs for thirty days or more through July and August. It’s “advantage” as some call it, is that when you buy a drink before two o’clock in the afternoon, if you return with your receipt after two, and you get a grande iced drink for only two dollars which is roughly half price or less.

Oh okay, so you’re saying that the company that you pay to give you worth in the morning is now offering you an opportunity to come back and pay them two dollars more? You’re telling me that this promotion whose tag-line is “Your receipt, our treat,” is something that you’re going to take “advantage” of? Interesting….

Let’s see this “logic” put into practice, again. So let’s say every second time you go into Starbucks during those thirty days, you redeem your treat receipt. You go into Starbucks every second day. As a pattern, this means that every third day, you pay those extra two dollars and take advantage of the promotion. Okay, fair enough. This means that you get that extra treat, ten times. In the end you’ve spent twenty extra dollars than you would have paid normally. Let’s not forget that you aren’t the only person buying their worth from Starbucks with this receipt. Thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people, take “advantage” of Starbucks in exactly the same way. Wow, poor Starbucks being taken advantage of. Really, I wish I could bear the pain for them and step into their shoes….

If all this hasn’t been logical enough, here’s something that makes even more sense. The Gold Card.

Basically, there’s this Starbucks Rewards promotion.

You start at the welcome level by registering your Starbucks card. This gives you a free birthday drink IF you’ve entered your card thirty days before your birthday. Oh, plus, you know fifteen percent off a purchase at the online store. Which means you have to spend more time thinking about Starbucks by scouring their online site to find something worthy of that deal. Wow, sign me up…

Next is the Green level. Woot woot! Moving up in the world…..Anyways. You get to Green level by buying five drinks on your registered card. What does this do? Well, well, well, besides those lovely birthday presents from your friends *ahem*(owners of your soul), you also get free refills of brewed and iced coffee as well as tea all in the same visit! So now you’re getting double the calories than you planned in the first place from these lovely people. Exciting!

Okay, now here’s the most logical and powerful level of all in the My Rewards program. Gold. Welcome to Starbucks Gold. Where everything is perfect and costs large amounts of glorious golden coins. Starbucks Gold has sooo many benefits for you. In order to get here though, you have to buy thirty drinks! But once you’re at gold, it’s so worth it because every twelve drinks you get a free one! That’s not even all. As the Starbucks website puts it- You get a Personalized Gold Card with your name on it so that the barista will know you’re someone special! Great, now all I have to do to know I’m special is pay one hundred and fifty dollars more to Starbucks and get a gold card. Easy peasy.

The Starbucks Rewards program offers options and benefits beyond your biggest dreams(not to mention biggest salary…. :))

Wow, I thought that I would come into this whole situation and totally make fun of Starbucks. However, it’s the opposite. My mind has now been opened to the logic of our culture today. I suddenly realize why I’m not finding satisfaction and worth in my life. I’ve been missing something. That daily routine, that energy and power. I’ve been missing my over priced, over commercialized daily Starbucks drink. I’m off to set up My Starbucks Rewards and hopefully soon I’ll have the Gold power! I mean it’s not even for my sake, this is to help the future of Indonesian farmers and their families, it’s to purify water in South America, it’s to give jobs to unstable people around the U.S. surely my thousands of dollars aren’t going into Howard Schultz’s 1.6 billion dollar pocket. Yup, poor Starbucks. I’m definitely taking advantage of them. But after all, it’s WORTH it.


The author's comments:
This was a Satire on trends in our current culture that I wrote for a Humanities course I'm taking... Read more about Canadian History, Christian Worldview and the Empire theme on my blog: http://thegreatunchangeable.wordpress.com/

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