An Open Letter to My Could Have Been | Teen Ink

An Open Letter to My Could Have Been

September 10, 2017
By maniboglyka BRONZE, Cabatuan, Other
maniboglyka BRONZE, Cabatuan, Other
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I have been going back and forth to every single detail of our relationship for the past weeks. I have been tracking it from our biggest fights to our narrowest arguments and yes, it has been a month since you left yet I still can’t find which part we went wrong.


I must say I was at my strongest when I let my guard down for you but little did I know that I would lose this battle for you. Was it something I said that night? Which part did I go wrong?


My friends kept telling me it was not me but you. You had issues you never told me and they said that was unfair. Somehow I find myself not blaming you, instead I blame myself for not seeing you through. I have always been obsessed with the fact that I can fix you just like what I did with my friends. Maybe all of us is a little bit like that right?

Raising the white flag was not easy. With the fact that you surrendered a long time ago, I’m still in denial that you are just doing this out of life’s context but no, this time it’s really over. It just bothers me that whenever I ask you if there is something wrong, you keep on telling me that there’s none and I believed you. What hurts the most is that you don’t see me anymore as someone who can help you get through this.


Were you just pretending all this time? I do not know anymore. I am so full of questions yet all out of answers at the same time.

We were at our strongest when we took the risk, you were willing until you realized you are not. I must say that I am at my weakest point at the moment.

I cannot remember how many times I asked you to reconsider our relationship but I guess this time I’ve had enough. I have learned that I have always loved you with all that I can that I have totally forgotten how to love myself too. I love you too much that it hurts, that I can’t see my self-worth. 

We leaped through valleys of sun shines and sunsets. I made unimaginable poems and music because of you but it’s until now that I realized that you sucked the life out of me and now I am left with nothing, and that is where I went wrong. I have to stop writing for you.

I can never “unlove” you. Maybe we will cross roads someday because I was so sure you were the one.  Until then, I think now it’s my turn to love my self.

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This article has 11 comments.

on Oct. 6 at 8:11 pm
heaven_sumlin BRONZE, Bakersfield, California
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments
You love yourself and it was beautifully written

on Sep. 3 at 10:45 pm
libraryghost PLATINUM, Lynnwood, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No one really understands each other. We're all just stuck inside ourselves." Aza, Turtles All the Way Down

this is really well-written and heartfelt!

on Mar. 19 at 6:17 pm
Azriella SILVER, Quincy, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed" -Jace Lightwood

"Heroes aren't the ones who always win. They're the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back. They don't give up. That's what makes them heroes." - Clary Fray

"Let us find the Dam snack bar. We should eat while we can." - Zoe Nightshade

"I said hello to the poodle." - Percy Jackson

Dang. My friends need to see this. I've never dated but my friends do and I read romance. This is beautifully written.

on Mar. 1 2022 at 5:21 pm
AriadnaTorres, Canutillo, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
The way the writer makes the readers feel, shows how they know how to make their readers relate to their story. I like how they wrote it specifically to that person but I think the word "You" was said repeatedly. I relate to this story so much, I actually enjoyed reading it.

ROY07 PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 27 2021 at 1:06 am
ROY07 PLATINUM, Hyderabad, Other
22 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting."
- E.E. Cummings

This is so heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. So uniquely wonderful and delightfully interesting!

LolHi1212 said...
on Nov. 19 2020 at 6:18 pm
LolHi1212, Northglenn, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
I was bold in the pursuit of knowledge, never fearing to follow truth and reason to whatever results they led. - Thomas Jefferson

I love this! It's so raw and open, and honestly what everyone needs to hear. Everyone should learn to love themselves before they love someone else. And never lose sight of that self love.

on Nov. 4 2019 at 11:45 am
K_Herriman_2019, Flint, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Girl, you just described my whole relationship with my ex boyfriend. This is greatly written, and I would like to think that you would be a great person to talk to about things like this!

Fizzler said...
on Feb. 5 2019 at 1:56 pm
Fizzler, Greenwood, Arkansas
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This is so realistic. I feel like every girl felt where you were coming from in one way or another. That was beautifully written. There were a couple of grammar mistakes that I would go back and change. I loved the way you took the background knowledge and subtly put it in the story instead of bombarding us with it all at once.

on Jan. 17 2019 at 4:00 pm
everynameistaken456, La Ronge, Saskatchewan
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
dang yoo

on Oct. 19 2018 at 1:32 pm
m0relia227 BRONZE, Inglewood, California
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
- Martin Luther King Jr

Yessssssss queen, honestly I went through somewhat the same thing and in a way I'm glad that I'm not alone in this situation.

Starshines1 said...
on Sep. 6 2018 at 11:09 am
Starshines1, Norfolk, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
That was beautiful , I had the same situation and I truly feel every word you said. Life is full of disasters, but we must take our time and love ourselves, some people don't want to share there problems not even with closest people to them. But that's life full of disapointment but also what you make it. stay strong.