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People Get Married, Not Families
The stupendious Indian culture...
The "developing" culture. Is this so called development seriously changing anything? Our
culture is respected in so many different ways, and i totally love all of it! But then,
nothing in the world is ten on ten, and there are some things which cant be accepted just
the way they are and have to be changed.
Marriages for instance. Now marriage as defined by the dictionary is "the formal union
of a man and a woman as husband and wife" and no where does it say that it is a union of
families! Does the word 'family' even occur here?
But, thanks to the orthodox Indian customs, beliefs and greatly the Indian Cinema, marriage
is now seen as "do parivaro ka milan"...
Does it matter which family has how many members or which member does what work? All that
matters is th fact that the TWO PEOPLE in question are compatible enough to spend the
rest of their lives together.
Then why, i fail to understand, is it said that the family is not good? And the biggest
issue, maybe even bigger than the one i have written above, is a word that has been
making all the difference since the beginning of life on earth, still makes all the
difference and will continue to make all this difference... We call this poison CASTE.
A Muslim, a Hindu or a Catholic, all have two hands, two legs and one mouth. So why all
One typical dialog said my a typical Indian mother- "How could you even think of marrying
someone out of your caste?"
Um... just like i cold have thought of marrying someone within my caste?
Marrying someone from a different caste is certainly not a crime, and it wont send you
to jail !
But Dear Miss Mother India, what if the person who your son/daughter wants to marry is
academically, financially and morally qualified? A mere surname or his or her place of worship will certainly not change anything. Mother India, you
certainly wouldnt want to wed your child to a person who is least interested in your child, roams on the streets begging, doesnt even know how to spell
his name, BUT belongs to the same caste as yours!
If you, your parents, your grandparents and people many generations ago were married within their caste, it does not apply a hard and fast rule that your
offspring has to also do the same. How does it all see, so correct in movies when in real life we are to adament to consider it as an option?
Another misconception all of us seem to have is that people belonging to some particular caste are not good, not as you wanted or whatever. The fact
that they dont dress the way you dress, or speak the way you do doesnt mean that they are in any way inferior to you. They might even turn out to be
better human beings than you could ever be!
It has been 61 years or so to our Independence! Bravo! But what do we celebrate about each year? The caste system still prevails, if not in the form
of untouchability then marriage.
We really need to understand that a marriage is about two people forming into one and not about their families coming together.
Instead of worrying about the acceptance and consent of the audience i.e the society, take into consideration what your child wants!
The society wont get married, your child will.