who are you? what do you deserve? | Teen Ink

who are you? what do you deserve?

December 29, 2010
By star600 SILVER, Linden, New Jersey
star600 SILVER, Linden, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Who are you? I do not know exactly who you are, however I can tell you that whoever you are, you are unique, smart, and probably have a lot of great qualities. How can I say this if I don’t know you, the reader of this article? Well you are human and every human being is so special. Each one of us has something to offer the world that nobody else can. Whatever it is; it can go from your sense of humor, to your intellect, to a special look in your eyes. Now if we are all so special, why is it that some of us are selling ourselves cheap?

I say this because throughout my short nineteen years of life I have been through countless relationships and seen my friends and family go through countless relationships that were not fulfilling. I will mostly direct this article towards girls/women, but it goes either way. I see this situation happen constantly. My friend finds a new guy, he is so sweet and perfect the first months, and then he starts to become a jerk with her. He tells her he is going to pick her up and then leaves her hanging. She tries to joke around and he puts her down, by making those small comments that cut like knifes, however if she says something back then she is overreacting, or doesn’t know how to take a joke. And when I try to talk to her about it, she says, “no he was just kidding”, or “he is a jerk because I pissed him off” and then tells me about all the sweet thins he does. Which compared to how he treated her badly, do not add up to make it better!

I understand why she is with this guy though. There are many reasons; she says she doesn’t want to hurt him, she is so used to him she can’t see her life without him, he is her routine, but I think the biggest reason is she doesn’t want to be alone, or feel lonely when he is not there. All these reasons are legitimate; however they are all ruled by fear. Ladies, let’s not let fear run our lives!
First of all, if you are afraid he is going to get hurt when you break up with him, then why isn’t he thinking about you when he demeans you? And it is not about hurting people, it’s about the fact that ultimately this guy is not helping your confidence, is not helping you grow as a person, is NOT really trying to make the relationship work! If he wanted the relationship to work you would be able to see his efforts, no doubt. You can say to other people, ”oh, he is just like that, that’s his personality”. But deep inside you know that is not true. How was he able to be a gentleman at the beginning, and now it’s his way or the high way. And how is it that he can be nice to his friends, and to other people, but he tells you to SHUT UP.
Second, she is used to him and cannot see her life without him. Come on, you might have been going out for years but there was a time when you were without him. And guess what? You were happy too, and less stressed about performing for him, so he doesn’t get annoyed. I will tell you if you decide to leave that toxic relationship, at the beginning you will miss him, and you will feel alone. I’ve been there but it is nothing you can’t get over with time. At the end, breaking away from a bad relationship, makes you feel stronger and empowered, like you deserve more.

NOT all guys are jerks! So why are we going out with the ones who are? I can tell you it pays off to go for the nice guy. It really does, but also if we have a good person next to us, let’s value him. This article was written for all the people that are in unfulfilling relationships. Let’s liberate ourselves and that other person. Let’s find someone, who can love us, who we can love back; someone that helps us grow as a person. We deep down know, who is right and who is not, just because this guy is not that bad, does not mean we have to put up with stuff no human being deserves. I hope my dear friend finds this article and reads it. Lastly a quote I really like, “ A boat at harbor is safe, but that is not what boat were made for”

The author's comments:
i keep seeing my loved ones in relationships with people that underrate them. i want this to stop, i know relationships are not perfect. but we all deserve to be with someone that lets us be happy

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