A Reality of Falling in Love | Teen Ink

A Reality of Falling in Love

February 9, 2010
By mikamika94 GOLD, Marshall, Virginia
mikamika94 GOLD, Marshall, Virginia
11 articles 4 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But now I'm told that this is life and pain is just a simple compromise to get what we want out of it." ~ Paramore ,"Misguided Ghosts

Every girl goes through it. The moment you think you’ve fallen in love. Your age no longer matters. All that matters is the beating of your heart and how you feel. You’ve imagined the moment that you see him and instantly fallen in love but never really thought that it could happen. Yet here you are feeling this way. Love seems to be knocking right at your door and hey, how could you possibly refuse it?
Unfortunately, what once appeared to be a dream come true can turn into a complete and utter nightmare. For many girls this is a reality.
I was one of those girls.
Dictionary.com defines rape as “the unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse”. It defines statutory rape as “sexual intercourse with a girl under the age of consent, which age varies in different states”.
Here is my story. In the summer of 2008 I was 13 years old and I naively thought that I was in love. By the end of August in that same year I no longer thought so. The reason being that on August 22 I was raped by my then boyfriend. I innocently trusted him and had my trust betrayed in the patch of woods across from my school. It’s the hardest thing to write out the details because it feels as if I’m reliving it. I thought we were going for a walk to meet some of his friends and I was going to hang around while they smoked. He started kissing me then touching me and before I fully comprehended what was happening he was pinning me down on the ground. I laid there with the sun across my face while little raindrops began to fall until he finished. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared and alone. I was shaking badly but he didn’t notice. He left to go home and I went back to the school to wait on my mom to pick me up.
On September 1, Labor Day, my mom took me to the nearest hospital. We had been fighting and she was terrified that I would kill myself. In Florida, the law is that if a person is taken into the hospital either threatening to kill themselves or very depressed they have to be Baker Acted. Being Baker Acted means that they take you to a facility where they can watch, evaluate, and diagnose you in an environment where you can’t hurt yourself. I was there for five days which seemed to drag on for weeks. I left with the diagnosis of depression and a subscription for anti-depressants. I didn’t take them for long. Although they appeared to make me happy I felt even closer to committing suicide.
Before I was raped, I had total trust in my mom. I could tell her anything but after it happened I simply felt that I couldn’t bear to tell her. I was ashamed and I hated myself. I felt that if I was stronger and smarter it wouldn’t have happened. Logically, I know now that there was nothing I could have done. I’m 5’1” and 94 lbs. with minor medical issues (ovarian cysts) so obviously when put up against a much bigger guy I don’t stand a chance.
The boy raped me a total of 6 times in various locations before my family and I moved to Virginia in October 2008. Miraculously, I managed to trust another boy while up there. He understood that I was hurt. He helped me through my self-loathing and I truly believe that in a way he saved my life. He made me want to live again. Towards the end of 2009, I was finally healed enough to be able to bring myself to tell my mom what happened. It was such a saddening experience when I told her. She put the pieces as to why I had hated myself so much and we cried for hours and hours.
The reason why I’m writing this isn’t just for myself. I want every person who reads this to understand that terrible things can happen even when it’s not your fault. This world we live in can be the most beautiful thing to ever exist in our eyes but it still has its dangers like a rose has thorns. We, as teenagers and as human beings, are in no ways invincible and nor should we have to be. When awful things happen we can still rise above it all. We can become all the stronger for it.

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This article has 27 comments.

SPRING said...
on Oct. 22 2012 at 9:28 pm

on Apr. 28 2012 at 2:55 pm
i_am_so_very_large_and_towering SILVER, Mililani, Hawaii
5 articles 1 photo 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"

this is such an empowering article . . . you are - there is no adjective to describe what i feel. added to my favorites.

on Jan. 9 2012 at 2:18 am
UnwantedNinja GOLD, Pretoria, Other
17 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney

I respect u a lot it takes a lot of courage to come out !!!

-Duckie- GOLD said...
on Oct. 13 2011 at 6:22 pm
-Duckie- GOLD, West Fargo, North Dakota
18 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your heart is a weapon the size of your fist. Keep fighting. Keep loving.

thanks so much for sharing your story. it can't have been easy. you are amazingly strong. keep writing.

on May. 26 2011 at 12:56 pm
ashley1012 BRONZE, Glasgow, Kentucky
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Come askin for it and you will get

this is so very brave of you to  share this story i am sorry it happen to me when i was six and it was by my  cousin

on Apr. 20 2011 at 8:40 pm
WithEyesWideOpen BRONZE, Wayne, Pennsylvania
2 articles 22 photos 240 comments

Favorite Quote:
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

that was very brave of you to share your story. even though i have not gone through this, i can still feel your pain. so, thank you.

on Mar. 29 2011 at 8:35 pm
DoloresDarling, Cambridge, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sarah Michelle Gellar- [on the importance of reading] I love books. I\'m constantly afraid we\'re moving into this digital era where books are going to go away, and to me books are the basis to everything in life. Reading is how we function.

This is amazing and your so brave for telling people you don't even know, your expirence. It's great that you wrote this, people need to know what could happen..</3 I'm sorry for what happend to you, thanks for writing this though, XD You did an amazing job..

on Mar. 29 2011 at 12:31 am
Speedyloris GOLD, Seattle, Washington
11 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken"

You are wonderful, insightful and brave for posting what seems to be your most traumatizing experienced. This left me both awed and inspired. You seem like such an amazing, complex, and thoughtful person. Thank you so much for sharing and I'm so sorry you suffered through such a terrible experience. You have alot of potential.

shedevil said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 7:51 am
shedevil, Spotsylvania, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 31 comments
Its good that you can put this expeirence behind you , never forget but move on. This was well written , good job :)

Sliva23 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 11 2010 at 6:48 am
Sliva23 BRONZE, Melbourne, Other
3 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind.

You have truely made me think about some many things!! Im just scared now of what will happen to be if i come across a guy like that.

on Jul. 30 2010 at 3:42 pm
mikamika94 GOLD, Marshall, Virginia
11 articles 4 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But now I'm told that this is life and pain is just a simple compromise to get what we want out of it." ~ Paramore ,"Misguided Ghosts

If you want to talk to me more, you're welcome to email me at mikamika94@yahoo.com.

LivenLove said...
on Jul. 30 2010 at 8:42 am
LivenLove, Washington, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Words are very powerful, but only if you listen to them."

This is really powerful, i can just feel the emotion. You must be so brave, i don't know if I coudl handle something like this. 

on Jul. 16 2010 at 4:59 pm
tianaxbiddy SILVER, Wareham, Massachusetts
9 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Plot is character revealed by action."


im sorry for what happened to you. i have tears in my eyes (i didnt let them fall cuz my mom sent me to my dads). i wish i knew you because i want to tell you something..... i sorta understand but not really (if u get wat i am tryin to say).

on Jul. 9 2010 at 10:16 pm
Bulletproofkid BRONZE, Vero Beach, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstien

This makes me so angry!!! Right now I am cursing so much, I might explode! That guy is messed up! I don't know how you feel, but this must be terrible for you! Even though I am athiest, he must go to HELL!!! Sorry, I said that. And I am sorry what happened, happened. I am truly sorry. Hopy you have a better life! :-)

on May. 10 2010 at 7:47 pm
ellemarie BRONZE, Georgetown, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure." -Douglas Adams

I am so sorry for what happened to you, and I am glad to see that you got through it.  I hope that you are doing well.

VitaLoyal GOLD said...
on Apr. 11 2010 at 3:40 pm
VitaLoyal GOLD, Warrrenville, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:

i like that

VitaLoyal GOLD said...
on Apr. 11 2010 at 3:40 pm
VitaLoyal GOLD, Warrrenville, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:

I like that

on Apr. 11 2010 at 3:25 pm
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's never to late, if it weren't for the last minute many things would never get done!

I'm sorry for what happened to you, and I wish there weren't people like your "boyfriend" out there yet sadly there is. I thank you so much for posting this story as I understand, how hard it must have been. You're a great inspiration for everyone, and this article helped put my own problems into perspective. To top it all off, a greatly written piece as well.

on Apr. 11 2010 at 9:42 am
starxoxo23 PLATINUM, New Hampshire, New Hampshire
21 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
- Alan Alda

It makes me sad to hear that you had to go through such a traumatizing experience. You are obviously a very strong and resilient person - and like moonluv said, a great inspiration. Your writing is amazing, too.

on Apr. 5 2010 at 4:02 pm
mikamika94 GOLD, Marshall, Virginia
11 articles 4 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But now I'm told that this is life and pain is just a simple compromise to get what we want out of it." ~ Paramore ,"Misguided Ghosts

I would appreciate many more comments to follow these. Whether it's abotu the content of the article or the way it's written. I would even like to hear other people's experiences.