First, let's work on you | Teen Ink

First, let's work on you

May 20, 2009
By Anonymous

Dear friends:

First, I’ve noticed that many teenagers feel like they have to be dating someone to be happy. Maybe its for personal satisfaction, or just to be able to say they’re with someone or for the slime balls out there…maybe its just to get “some”. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’ve only seen a few couples that are together, where both parties are with each other simply because they enjoy each others company. I also think its ridiculous, to say “I love you” after dating someone for two weeks. If not for any other reason, it takes credit away from the couples who have had to work at their relationship. Under no circumstances, do I believe in love at first sight. It takes conversation, dedication, and more importantly it takes time. Something I’ve learned is love and pain go hand and hand, and you can’t fully experience one without the other. Here’s my suggestion, don’t claim to love someone, until you know exactly what makes them, THEM.

Second, why do some guys feel the need to say things they don’t and never meant? It can be the smallest comments, but sometimes those are what make the biggest impacts. For example, “I don’t care what movie we see, as long as I’m with you.” Or “baby, you’re the only one for me” or my favorite, “I’m with you for you, nothing else matters” I’ve heard these lines so much that now when I hear them, my ears automatically translate them into “bullcrap, bullcrap, BULLCRAP!” Here’s my suggestion, don’t’ say what you don’t mean, because someday, somewhere, someone might actually believe you.

Third…whoa, here comes the big one. SEX. Its been said that guys use love to get sex and girls use sex to get love. Sad thing is, is a lot of relationships are based on just this. My opinions are not based on experience but instead, observation. A lot of my friends sleep around and then later on wonder why it didn’t work out. By no means am I’m saying sex is bad, I’ve just noticed that when it happens to soon, it short circuits other parts of a relationship. People can relate on many different levels -- emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally but when sex happens to soon it can and often does become the main focus, and every other part of the relationship, such as talking, becomes irrelevant. I also noticed when this happens, guys tend to lose respect for the girl and girls start to mistrust the guy. Here’s my suggestion: Don’t have sex until you’re married. Make someone prove they love you, because words can only go so far.

Finally, I am not a shrink, nor do I have any formal education concerning this subject; I’m just an average Joe and these are my observations and opinions. I’ll leave you with this last suggestion, sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. You have your whole life to fall in love, but right now, what matters is you. You’ll never be satisfied with someone else until your satisfied with yourself.

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This article has 42 comments.

ChloeE BRONZE said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 12:24 pm
ChloeE BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Proverbs 3:5- Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
"I don't mind not being cool." -Chris Martin

Oh my! i love this. SO true. I can relate so much to this. Great job! I agree with everything you said, and I could almost see your personality coming out of it, and I dont even know you! Ill be looking for more of your work! :)

on Jan. 6 2012 at 7:03 pm
BlueRain BRONZE, Clarkston, Michigan
2 articles 5 photos 254 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control."

One part that bugs me the most is the advice that if you don't like the hobbies of the other, you should find something you both like to do. But the way I see it, if you really love someone, shouldn't you be able to appreciate their interests and ENJOY participating in them? I see it all the time on shows were the wife gets annoyed at the husband's obsession with football/ baseball/whatever sport, and then he makes fun of her community service or interest in animals/ the list goes on. Maybe healthy relationships can work like that, but I want a person who is happy to do what I like to do with me and someone that has hobbies and interests that I want to participate in. Shouldn't that be a better scenario?

on Jan. 6 2012 at 3:49 pm
greenbean_94 SILVER, Somerville, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

SAME HERE!!! Totally agree!!!

on Jan. 6 2012 at 3:49 pm
greenbean_94 SILVER, Somerville, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

SAME HERE!!! Totally agree!!!

on Jan. 6 2012 at 2:37 pm
CorrinaElisabeth, Eatonville, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without even noticing it." ~C.S.Lewis

Agreed. The mistakes in the actual article were a bit bothersome to my proof-read-everything-automatically mind. But I agreed with the point of it. Finally! Someone who stands against the (often well-deserved) teenage stereotype!

on Oct. 10 2011 at 4:14 pm
I found this incredible. I agreed with every opinion of yours! I would add in real life examples and try to put more emotion into your writings. Your organization was good but lacked good word choice. Keep writing!!! I liked it a lot! :)

on Oct. 10 2011 at 3:29 pm
Brynners BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
 I feel like you just took my brain and copied what it was telling you. Your writing seems similar to mine, easy to understand. I would work on more detail or add in real life  examples.

on Sep. 18 2011 at 8:49 am
Bookworm1998 GOLD, Brampton, Other
17 articles 2 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
Preserve your memories, keep them well; what you forget, you can never retell.

this is rlly good and i agree with it 100%. some grammar errors, but otherwise, good writing!

jaylw GOLD said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 2:10 pm
jaylw GOLD, Southgate, Michigan
18 articles 8 photos 44 comments
Thank you, this is great, btw, i agree, with you and reading this has hleped me out, best of luck to you

on May. 9 2011 at 8:40 pm
SilverDropsofLife BRONZE, Mt. Holly Springs, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

THANK YOU.  Seriously.  High school teens are in need of shock treatment.  I may be one of those teens, but at least I know when to quit.  Some of those kids really need to get contacts and realize that they are either be completely stupid or just plain cruel.  Either way, they need to grow up.

On the writing side, you really need to proof read.  So many mistakes.  I may agree with your opinion, but with your writing, it loses a couples stars.  PROOF READ.  You'll kick yourself later if you don't.

Archy said...
on Apr. 17 2011 at 3:30 pm
Archy, Honolulu, Hawaii
0 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone"
~Robin Williams

Look at your second paragraph. One that maybe true for some but not all guys. Second some girls arent innocent in this either. Girls can be just like that. Ive seen it happen many times. otherwise great article.

Fate98 GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2011 at 4:08 pm
Fate98 GOLD, Glasgow, Other
11 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn’t about how popular you are… What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts.. and our minds. This is the reason we sing.. this is the reason we cry… this is why we live." - Andy six"

Well this is a very well writen,powerfull and very ture article. Thats sort of weird coming from me as i am a hopeless romantic. But your right i supose. But stuff like love at first sight and when your with the one your ment to be with, you just sort of know. I need and want to keep that burnig in my heart.  As i sure know that your point of love can hurt is also very very true.

dotn_me BRONZE said...
on Mar. 4 2011 at 6:48 pm
dotn_me BRONZE, Camarillo, California
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments
awesome, i luv articles that are straightforward like this! keep up the great work :D

MKimmi said...
on Mar. 4 2011 at 5:57 pm
MKimmi, NY, New York
0 articles 0 photos 103 comments
true true I LOVE IT TOO

. said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 12:58 pm
I disagree, perus.  This person has made a very good point, with much evidence. Where' your evidence?

LunaLives GOLD said...
on Nov. 14 2010 at 2:32 pm
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me "Life is a choice and death is a decision"-Lil Wayne

I think you are right. But people have to make mistakes to learn from them, no matter what anybody tells them. Any way congrats on making this number one!!!

valeria said...
on Oct. 1 2010 at 3:08 pm
i now the stories are cool i love this site

on Oct. 1 2010 at 3:06 pm
i agree thats not love my boyfriend would never hit me

on Oct. 1 2010 at 3:03 pm
i love your story i can relate to most love storys people put on this amazing site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

perus said...
on Oct. 1 2010 at 9:22 am
i find this article to be extremly strotypical to be honest i dont think you know what your talking about you are obvisly speaking out of hurt