Interracial Relations | Teen Ink

Interracial Relations

August 3, 2009
By Anonymous

You see him walking down the halls. He’s tall, handsome, and has a great smile. You can’t help but notice him everywhere he goes and he always gives you goose bumps and a tingly feeling in your stomach. Well, what if there was something stopping you from asking him out? What if you literally weren’t allowed to like him? That’s what happens to kids every day. I am a young, teenage female who is of Cajun French and Atakapa descent, basically a common mixture that makes up a white person in the South. I am in a position that is hard for me, but I know it is also harder for other people elsewhere.

When I was younger, I didn’t know what kind of guys to like. I’d always gotten the vague impression that people who looked like me were okay- the whole “no interracial dating” talk never came up with my parents until I was older, about a year ago. I never showed any interest in guys from my school when I was in junior high. Once I got to high school (the beginning of 10th grade, actually), that was another story. It was just my first day, and I was walking down the hall when I saw a couple, a white girl with a black boy, and it surprised me how many people were giving them glances or rolling their eyes. I felt angry at that, for some reason. It seemed I wasn’t as ‘prejudiced’ as I was supposed to be. After that, I thought a lot about my values, and why I had them. Were they in me because I wanted them or because other people wanted them? I thought about it for a while, and decided that I was okay with it. I didn’t mind other races dating each other. I felt better, knowing I had my own opinion. I didn’t know that meant it would apply to me. Not until a few months later when I had my first, actual crush. He was, as you can guess, black.

I am a very strong person, and people who have opinions of me are perfectly fine. I have a tough personality. Gossip and ugly comments won’t ever break me. So that’s why I had no problem telling my friends and family about it. My mom and dad weren’t happy. My mom was outright telling me there was no chance I’d ever be allowed to date him. My dad was more disappointed in me. However, after much talking, they were forced to realize that their opinions were based solely on nonsense, and that, as Christians, it was morally wrong to say it wasn‘t ‘right’. They finally said that they weren’t okay with it, but they would accept and respect my views and allow me to make my own decisions.

My friends were another matter. They were shocked and surprised, one even going so far as to act condescending. I, once again, explained to them my views on the matter. One of my friends actually asked me, “Why do you like black guys?” It took all of my self-control not to slap her. I was angry and hurt at her, because she was supposed to be my best friend. But I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere if I did that. I had to explain to her, and everyone else, that I was okay with liking any race, any color; black, brown, blue, polka-dot- it doesn‘t matter! Over the next few months, they became comfortable with it. I was happy about this.

But my problem now is that I want more than acceptance. Because even though they are okay with it, they always say things like, “Well I’d never do it.” No, I have not taken the plunge and found someone I really care about, any race. And being strong is a great quality. But in a society today where we have a half-African American-half-Caucasian president, people are spouting more and more fluff about ‘racial acceptance' and 'color doesn’t matter.' Well, to a lot of people, it still does. They might put on a bright smile and pretend, but, especially where I live, the atmosphere is prejudiced. I’m not going to give clichéd scenarios for people to rag on me about. I’m just wondering, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL???? If you love someone, you love them. I’m not a hippie or a tree-hugger- I’m a human being. But every time I think about dating that guy I first liked, I think about that girl who was walking down the hall, hand in hand with her boyfriend, and I wonder if that’s the price I’m going to pay. Not to say that I wouldn’t pay it- I would gladly put up with people who don’t matter to be happy. But more along the lines of should I have to pay it. Should me, my friend, the boy who lives down the road- should anyone- have to deal with that? No one should have to be scared to make their opinion known or penalized when they do. Why can’t people open up their minds a little bit more? My parents’ answers, when I asked them why they were against it, was, “Because that’s the way we were raised.” And it’s going to be like that for a long time if we don’t do something about it. My generation, compared to a couple older ones, is generally more accepting. But we are far off from calling ourselves unbiased or non-racists. I’m not saying this as a sob story or for people to make fun of me. I’m thinking of the kids who are only two or three, and who might not be as tough-skinned as I am, but who might end up needing to be. No one should have people laugh at them, call them names, or spread rumors about them simply because they might have feelings for someone a little different than who they are. The color of the person you like may be only skin deep, but the prejudices and racisms that unfortunately come with it are a lot deeper than that.

The author's comments:
I wrote this piece for people who may be confused about how they feel, or for teens who haven't thought about it at all. I hope this inspires at least one person to stand up for what they believe in, no matter what it is.

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This article has 31 comments.

on Mar. 22 2016 at 11:32 pm
ColdplayForever BRONZE, San Jose, California
1 article 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Coldplay fans are the best in the world. If you like Coldplay, then you're obviously very intelligent, good-looking, and all-around brilliant."
~Chris Martin

This is amazing. Interracial relationships should not be brought down; I know so many people who are the product of an interracial marriage. Of course, where I live, the population is very diverse, but my parents don't seem to understand that I have more of a chance of being with a non-Indian person than I do an Indian person. If interracial relationships did not exist, at some point, the human race would die out, yet some people do not seem to understand this. Thankfully, in my school, interracial conflict is not an issue, but interracial and interreligious (That's not even a word...) conflict is a problem at home. My parents don't know yet that a section of my brain is reserved for boys, and my parents are Hindu, I'm atheist, as is my grandpa. The guy I've liked for a while is Christian, and if my parents knew about any of this, they would freak. But good job on this article! People should understand that love is love, and love has no boundaries. Stay happy and keep writing!

on Jul. 3 2013 at 5:49 pm
DanielleSK BRONZE, Toronto, Other
1 article 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think a lot, but I don't say much."- Anne Frank

Good for you, girl. We live in a world where interracial relationships are still frowned upon for some reason. Some people are completely ignorant and refuse to wrap their minds around it, while others simply feel like they can't be involved with somebody outside of their race just because they were raised a certain way. I don't understand why anybody would have a problem with interracial relationships. I think they're absolutely beautiful, but I realize that others might not feel this way. It's a real shame that people are still so narrow-minded, but what can we do about it? Remember, you're free to love whomever you please. As long as you're happy and comfortable, there should be no problem.

on Nov. 15 2012 at 1:32 pm
samanthaaa BRONZE, Schaumburg, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hell is empty. All the devils are here." - William Shakespeare

It's a shame that racism and judgement still occurs in our country. My boyfriend is half puerto rican/ half black, Christian, and I am European and Jewish. It never occured to me that anybody would judge us for being together. We live in the Chicago area, and it's funny because most girls at my school are attracted to boys of color. 

on Jan. 12 2012 at 10:27 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 564 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Wow, I mean I knew there was still racism out there, but I always saw it as something somewhere else. I was never really exposed to it, I'm a product of an interracial marriage and I'm very liberal with like-minded friends in a very conservative environment. We just brush off the occasional ignorant comments, we know in our hearts what's right.

DeeJayB GOLD said...
on Aug. 11 2011 at 6:54 pm
DeeJayB GOLD, Sulphur, Louisiana
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments
oh yeah... and congrats on making it work:) and thanks for the comment! i always love feedback like this.

DeeJayB GOLD said...
on Aug. 11 2011 at 6:53 pm
DeeJayB GOLD, Sulphur, Louisiana
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments
as someone who comes from a white family as well.. a deep south family with cajun roots (in case you didn't know cajuns are prett-y strict about certain beliefs, I.E. interracial dating) ... i can tell you that you need to have a sit down talk with your parents. depending on how old you are, just tell them that you are a grown woman and you are only telling them these things because you don't want to lie to them. a lot of the time, it's a "that is how i was raised" mentality. sometimes it's up to YOU to break your parents out of that. respectfully tell them that it doesn't matter if THEY think it's wrong, but that they let YOU make the decision where it concerns YOUR life. but eventually you will have to tell them... i'd say make it sooner than later. 

on Aug. 11 2011 at 6:28 pm
ClumsyNinja BRONZE, Darby, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I want to thank you so much for writing about this. I have been with my boyfriend for nine months and I love him very much. The problem is he's black and I'm white. It doesn't bother me, because I know race doesn't matter. It bothers my parents. They don't know we're together, because they don't want me seeing him. We manage to make things work anyway, and we have no intention of breaking up just because other people hold such narrow-minded beliefs. It helps to know that other people know what we're going through.

on Mar. 24 2011 at 9:10 pm
septemberstarz BRONZE, Austin, Texas
3 articles 15 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is love"

yes, love is for everybody. it doesn't matter if they're a different religion, different race, same or different sex.


I'm white, and pretty much all the guys I've liked have been either hispanic or black. I didn't choose them BECAUSE they were hispanic/black, it just happened. and sometimes people will ask me why I don't like white guys. and it makes me want to scream sometimes.

on Dec. 12 2010 at 11:58 am
ScorpionAngel16 BRONZE, New York City, New York
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nobody can make you inferior without your consent"~Eleanor Roosevelt~

i solely agree with you it doesnt matter your race or religion or anything the only thing that is supposed to matter is what the two of you feel for each other...

on Aug. 2 2010 at 8:27 pm
silence-is-loud GOLD, Chicago, Illinois
10 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:

I am verrryyy happy that you decided to write about this. I live in Chicago and I hardly evvveeerrr see biracial couples and it bothers me..

LoEssie BRONZE said...
on Aug. 2 2010 at 5:23 pm
LoEssie BRONZE, Freeport, New York
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
A room without books is like a body without a soul. I don't know who wrote that, it was just on an advertisement at my library. . . hahaha.

Wow. . . I just realized how blessed I am to have the friends and parents that I have! I live in an interracial town and I go to school with kids of different races (although my town is relatively small) and my closest friends, with the exception of one, are not my race. I was so surprised to read this and hear what your friends and parents said to you. . . I just want to tell you that you are right and they are wrong, not that it really matters what I think. . . Thank you for writing this and bringing attention to it.

on Jun. 19 2010 at 5:28 pm
hannapey66 BRONZE, Aberdeen, North Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i dated a black guy for 6 months, it was stressful because my dad is in the army and im not saying he is racist, but as a dad he thinks boys only have one thing on their minds, and he thinks black boys DEFINITELY have only one thing on their mind, especially when it comes to a white girl. my relationship with my black boyfriend taught me so much- never to judge others, and it taught me to love. im glad im not the only one who feels this way about interracial relationships. and ps, ALLLL my friends thought i only liked black guys after that which was so frustrating so i can relate!!!

Riz-I BRONZE said...
on Jun. 19 2010 at 5:02 am
Riz-I BRONZE, Cambridge, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
How do you tell the difference between your mind and your brain? I mean, every so often, my brain tells me to do some seriously crazy things, but I know I'd be totally out of mind to actually listen to it...

Lol-ing forever at that last line. :')

Riz-I BRONZE said...
on Jun. 19 2010 at 5:01 am
Riz-I BRONZE, Cambridge, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
How do you tell the difference between your mind and your brain? I mean, every so often, my brain tells me to do some seriously crazy things, but I know I'd be totally out of mind to actually listen to it...

At my Secondary School, interracial dating was a pretty common thing but as I lived in the statistically proven whitest county in England, some people were pretty disapproving...

My friend is white but she told me that she only really finds men of colour attractive and her last four boyfriends have been, in order: Caribbean, Iranian, Senegalese and Korean. It irritates me that skin colour should even matter. It's just how much melanin you have in your skin. Surely, the more the better? Since it protects you from the sun's UV rays? 

And anyway, mixed-race kids are always hot (personal experience, not fact per se).

They also generally have a better immune system due to the diverse genes they inherit from their parents. Yeah... we did all about this in Biology.

bibenji said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 5:39 pm
as a biracial college student who was adopted and grew up in a very white part of colorado, i had almost the opposite issues as the girl in this piece writes about. i had crushes in grade school but rarely told my parents because my crushes were on white boys. in high school i finally dated a black guy but when i dumped him for just wanting me for sex i had a convo with my parents not long after in which my mom basically said she always pictured me with a handsome black or mixed man, not a light-skinned man.  While a lot of people assume this future for me, its not that simple.  You tend to love and get close to people similar to yourself. In every respect I am as "white" as the next girl in my neighborhood and tend to be drawn more towards lighter skinned men and women. It's a tough thing that I think most people just will make snap judgements about but its less unheard of today and so the rise in population of mixed and biracial babies. =) keep up the progress and maybe our childrens children will not even be phased be skin color and see it as just a great tan lol

on May. 28 2010 at 10:12 pm
Ink_Stained_Fingers BRONZE, Coeur D&#39Alene, Idaho
2 articles 2 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
If love isn't a game, how come all I'm seeing are players?

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not.

Micheal, close your mouth! We are not a codfish!
~Mary Popp

aagghhhh i know!!! seriously, what is the problem? we are all people, and i really don't find interracial dating weird at all.

plus, not to stereotype, but black guys are hawt. seriously.

LaughsAlone said...
on Apr. 23 2010 at 7:33 pm
Agree completely :) Whenever we are playing this silly game called 'MASH', in the 'future husband' area, my Asian friends always give each other Asian choices for the husband and they are always sure to give me all or mostly Caucasians (I am white)...It's just a little thing, but on kid networks you almost never see interracial dating either. It's teaching kids that isn't normal, which is so wrong...

on Mar. 23 2010 at 2:43 pm
Khia_A. PLATINUM, Sicily Island, Louisiana
34 articles 3 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stay who you are no matter what you face along the way.

I love it. you are right. No offense but most white people think they are superior to blacks. I see some walking around school all the time. I use to hang with a girl named faith. her grandmother wouldnt even allow me to go to her party because im black. it hurt me and i started to wonder whether racism could be stop. We were all created by god so therefore we are one race. That is how i will always see it.

on Jan. 31 2010 at 9:35 pm
UndiscoveredStar GOLD, Spokane, Washington
16 articles 1 photo 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
My heart is my own but your free to change long as you can take all the hurt and troubles that come with it.

this is beautiful. i understand 2 different native tribes [[[blackfoot and cherrokee]]]...french creole...hawaiian and black.....i personally think mixed children are i honestly dont let racial barriers block my first bf was mexican....I ♥ INTERRACIAL DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dynasty GOLD said...
on Dec. 3 2009 at 9:25 am
Dynasty GOLD, Rio Grande, Ohio
11 articles 3 photos 29 comments
i like this article becuz i like guys of a diffrent or think they are ute and my big sis and cousins always ask me do i like them and its weird becaused none of them are racist but never see themelves with someone of that particular race.