Losing someone close to you, or even some you see often, but might not actually know, is hard.It's like, one day, they are there, but the next, they aren't. They don't even have to be dead.I think that makes it worse, them still being alive. At least, that is how it feels for me. Seeing a loved one everyday, but not talking to them, being near them, nor acknowledging them. When they are dead, you can think and believe that they are in a better place. Or that if they were still around, they would talk to you, be with you, love you. You can't do that when they are still alive.

No. Instead, you see them visibly avoid you. Join group conversations and talk to everyone but you. You feel pain when you see them talking to others, moving on with ease, going about life without you, smiling. Crying when you encounter an old picture of them, or catching yourself texting or calling them, not to get them back, but out of almost pure habit.

Then there is the hole they leave. One that was once filled with memories and laughter, and everything they bring to you. It is nearly impossible to fill. Your friends and other loved ones will try to help, and patch up the hole. But beneath that is still the hole, dark and empty. It might fill itself back up over time, but it could also become a cavity, that if left uncared for, will eat you away, from the inside out. Maybe it will be both, starting as one, but switching towards the other once or more.