There are three passions, strong and unbelievably true, that have guided my life thus far: the desire to be loved, the pursuit for the perfect answer, and unconditional longing to help others. These passions, like white waves, have pushed me to and fro, in a dizzying course, over a shallow lake of confusion, pushing me to the very edge of despair.

I have longed for love, first, because it brings a feeling- a feeling so wonderful that I would have sacrificed the rest of my days on earth for a few moments of this delight. I have longed for it, next, because it discharges loneliness- that terrible loneliness in which a sparkling awareness stares over the edge of the planet into the cold undiscovered abyss of ourselves. I have longed for it, finally, because in the midst of love I have seen, in peculiar events, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that angels and archangels have envisioned. This is what I longed for, and though it may seem too good for us as mere humans, this is what- at last- I have found in her.

With equal desire I have longed for the perfect answer. I have wanted to understand the minds of the greats. I have wanted to know why stop never means stop. And I have tried to understand the mysteries of a woman by which questions only confuse me more. A little of this, but not a lot, have I accomplished.

Love and the perfect answer, so far as they were possible, led me closer to my destiny. But always bad luck brought me back to reality. The faces of others cloud my imaginings. Life altering decisions, upcoming test question, personal inner turmoil pulling at their souls too different to be accepted by others. I long to help them all with every perplexity, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

This has been my life thus far. I have found it a life worth living, and would gladly accept the chance to live it again if it were offered to me.