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Run When You Can (Chapter one)
Summary:
Patient 32 is a young girl who woke up in an insane asylum, being told she committed a crime that she has no memory of ever doing.
A schizophrenic down the hall keeps her up at night with her fear inducing screams and two strange people are keeping an extremely close eye on her.
She knows that something isn't right but she can't put her finger on it. When suddenly she is told she is to move to a different part of the hospital, she immediately knows that this is not your typical mental hospital. Will she prove she is innocent or be condemned to a life in this strange hospital?
Phoebe J.
Run When You Can (Chapter one)
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This book has 9 comments.
Here it is:
www . teenink . com / novels / sci_fi_fantasy / book / 54202 / Hunted/
Thanks!
(Sorry I took so long to comment! I couldn't find it.)
This is good; a very intriguing read. I will start first of all about what I liked about the story.
The descriptions and wording were excellent. The plot was very interesting, despite being a little dark.
However, I noticed a couple of things that I must point out. Firstly, schizophreniacs do not suffer from split personality disorder. There is much confusion about this, but they actually just suffer from delusions and hallucinations. And most patients are actually fearful, not angry. (lol. I was just studying a chapter about this. Glad to know that it's of some use.)
The way the the people spoke was very formal, with no slang. e.g. 'she is' instead of 'she's'. IS this intentional? Because it does make it sound rather odd. Also, I think that you spent a little bit too much time in asking questions and talking about the murder. Though it is understandable, as the patient would be very confused, it gets a little tiring after a while.
Overall, great work! And please comment on my novel Hunted when you have the time!
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