Allie and I walked towards the sea because she wanted to watch the sunset. It was her birthday, and I would follow her anywhere. Her mom is strict and doesn’t allow her to be outside after six, so we walked at a fast pace to catch the sunset before it was gone. Allie is a romantic girl, she’s the kind that you will imagine to still believe in fairies and princes and glorious castles. The only kind of book she will read is romance. She does put a lot of thought into them, though. If the storyline isn’t cheesy enough, she doesn’t accept it. ‘The point of a romance novel is to make the readers feel like they’re actually in love, and it has to be the kind of love that hardly exists in this world.’ She would always say. 

“Did you have fun with Garrick and Polly? I know you aren’t very good friends with them.” Allie asked me. 

“Yeah, they are cool people. I like them.” I answered honestly. 

What I meant to say was: as long as they are the ones you love, I have no problem with them. These words could only appear in my mind and not out of my mouth. 

I realized that I was making our moment tasteless, so I silently took her hand. It was ice-cold. She squeezed my hand softly as if trying to transfer my heat to her. She looked gorgeous that day, as usual, but there was something unspoken between us that made her beauty further apart from me. It was a strong feeling that brought me into confusion. What was she hiding from me? Was she afraid that I would find out a fact that I shouldn’t? 

“Let’s go over there.” Allie pointed to a cliff with her other hand. I wondered why she would want to risk going to a dangerous spot. There were many other good spots for sunset that day, but I didn’t say anything about it because it was her birthday, and she deserved everything she wanted. If she wanted to sit by the cliff, we would sit by the cliff. 

She walked to the edge of the cliff and I could see the deep ocean right down my feet. I was never afraid of heights, but at that point, I was terrified. The waves were hitting hard on the cliff and the water it brought up could almost touch me. My body shivered as the coldness of the water crawled on me. 

“I have a question for you, Francis.” Allie loosened her hand and my hand returned to the side of my body. “If you were to die right now, what would your last words be?” 

“Why are you asking this?” I laughed at her question, it seemed surreal that she would ask that. She had never discussed death with me, and I would never imagine her to talk about death in any situation. “Is it for your English class or something? To discuss death?” 

“Yeah, something like that.” She didn’t laugh with me. She was waiting for me to answer her question. 

“Well, I guess my last words would be: I want to meet Allison again in my next life, be her husband, and be a forever soulmate.” 

This time she laughed, more like a chuckle. Her eyes looked into mine, delivering love. She reached out her arms as if she wanted to hug me. So I walked closer to her and reached out my arms, too. 

The next second I was in the air, falling into the bitterly cold ocean. 

The moment I woke up, I knew something wasn’t right.

I thought I would never wake up again, but somehow I managed to open my eyes. I know I’m in the ocean because all I can see is the dark blue water and fish swimming around me. I reach out my hand to feel one of them, but I can’t capture them. I guess it’s because I’m not used to moving in water. 

But why am I conscious? I shouldn’t be. I got pushed off a cliff by Allie, my girlfriend, and now I should be dead. I expect a dead person not to be seeing this world again. Or is this heaven? Hell? I’ve never imagined heaven or hell to look like underwater. 

I also came to realize that I am still breathing, I’m inhaling water and nothing is happening to me. What has happened to my body? This must be a mistake. I must be dreaming, therefore everything makes sense, including the part where Allie pushed me off a cliff. I mean, why would she do that to me? I’m her boyfriend and I swear I’ve never cheated on her or treated her badly. I’ve never lied to her about anything, promise. 

This has to be fake. 

I slap myself in the face to see if it hurts. There’s a funny theory that says if you slap your face and it doesn’t hurt, then you are in a dream. I’m testing it out right now, and I have to say: my slap f-ing hurts. My strength should not be used here. Okay, so it’s confirmed that this is not a dream. Then what is this? Why am I breathing in water? 

I’m dead. I’m dead! That’s why I can’t feel the fish and can breathe in water. This has to be true, or else what is? 

A force is applied on my shoulder. To make this more understandable: someone is patting me on the shoulder. I turn over to look at them, and I see a man with pretty red cheeks. 

“Seems like you also died in this ocean.” He said, looking a bit surprised. “I also died here a few days ago. I was drunk and fell off the cliff. Isn’t it funny? I guess I can call it a way of committing suicide.” 

“I just died,” I explain, “got pushed off a cliff though, by my girlfriend.” 

“That’s…terrifying. I’m so sorry for you.” 

“It’s fine.” It isn’t. I don't even think I’m feeling well talking about this. It hits me that Allie is possibly the one who wants me dead. Allie and I have known each other for two years and have been a couple for over a year. She has never shown any hate against me. 

“You know, maybe it wasn’t her who pushed you off the cliff. I’ve heard people accidentally falling off that cliff because the wind is usually very strong. You might want to consider that as a possibility.” The man says with empathy. He also doesn’t want to believe that I was killed by my lover. “Anyway, I want to show you something cool that we can do as ghosts.”

He takes my hand and we rise to the surface without using any energy. It’s almost like gravity doesn’t exist. Our heads are out of the water and soon our bodies are also in the air. The sun has set, and we can see the bright moon shining in the dark blue sky. It’s a heavenly stunning view in front of us. There’s only one thing that isn’t perfect at the moment: the person next to me isn’t Allie, but this random stranger I’ve just met. Disappointing. 

“As ghosts, we can do anything we want except for talking to people alive. Well, you can try, they can’t hear or see us anyway,” he says while casually walking on water, “Being a ghost is free, but sometimes lonely, I’m glad I have a friend now.” 

He defines me as a friend. I’m happy about it, but I’m also concerned about his identity. I mean, who drinks and falls off a cliff? I don’t ever get the adults. 

“Now, I forgot to tell you this, but there is only one reason that you are here and not in heaven, or hell, I don’t know what you are like before. But the reason is that you still have regrets. You have to find your regrets and solve them to move on. So, tell me. What are you thinking about?” 

I stare at the moon and return to the loveliest memories with her. 

“Francis!” 

Allie’s voice was a bit sharp when she yelled, but that’s cute. To be honest, there’s nothing about Allie that I find annoying like others. Basic girls can’t even compare to my Allie. Mine. 

“My mom and I are going to the cemetery to see my father. Do you want to come along? We haven’t been hanging out outside of school, and you know it always gets awkward between my mom and me.” Allie grabbed my arm and leaned her head on my shoulder, “Say you will come with us, hum?” 

I kissed her cheek, “Yes, I will come.” 

She smelt like the lavender candles she would always light up when we were doing homework in her room. She said a girl’s room can’t smell horrible, it brings out bad luck. She likes the smell of lavender because it reminds her of her father, who died in an accident years ago when she was young. She said she doesn’t know a lot about her father, except that her mother got depressed because of the loss of her father. Allie’s childhood was tough, and I had always wanted to make her young adult life better. If I had a chance, I would want to meet her father and tell him how well his daughter has grown up. I want to tell him that she’s loved by the ones around her, and she isn’t alone. 

Allie’s mother, Allie, and I arrived at the cemetery with flowers. It was my first time there, and seeing the gravestones reminded me of movie scenes. I wondered what it felt like for Allie to be here. Was she happy to see her father’s gravestone? Or was she still sad because of the accident years ago? I secretly hoped if she were to cry, she would cry in my arms and I would give her comfort. I wanted to be her pillow, the one that she relied on. 

The thing about Allie is: that she is too strong and brave. She doesn’t spill her feelings easily, and that concerns me. She often acts like she’s just a weak young woman but the truth is, she’s tougher than anyone. She makes jokes, laughs, and flirts, but there’s something about her that scared me. A secret that she will never be able to tell me, I assumed. 

After years of knowing her, I came to realize that no matter how hard I try, if she doesn’t want to tell me, she won’t. She’s very stubborn about certain things and it’s more than difficult for me to change that. I’ve learned to be her supporter and not an interviewer who wants to dig out everything inside of her. 

“My mom is going to the restroom,” Allie walked up to me after they put down the flowers and visited her father, “if she can find one.” Allie’s arm hooked on mine and we slowly walked away from her father’s gravestone. I turned around and looked back at the gravestone covered in bits of dirt. I smiled at it as if her father was there, watching us dancing with the days in life. 

“Ghosts don’t get hungry, correct?”

I have decided to ask him the weirdest questions to eliminate the boredom. Even though there are many privileges of being a ghost, being forced to only talk to one person is not a privilege, especially only with this guy. I have been losing a lack of interest in his words, the stories that he tells are repetitive: his boss, his wife, and his newborn baby. There is nothing more that he can complain about except for the fact that he can’t see his baby growing up. Technically he can, since he’s a ghost and he can do anything he wants. He can stalk everybody and watch his baby become older over the years, it’s just that he won’t be able to talk to him. He’s still able to look at the baby. 

“Yeah, but I can still hear my stomach shouting when I see food around. Too bad I can’t touch them, or else I’ll devour everything on the tables.” 

I laugh, unable to imagine what it’s like to forget how to eat, or what food tastes like. I think I will never be able to forget what Allie’s homemade apple pie tastes like, it’s the best. 

“So, do you want to go see your girlfriend?” He looks at me, eyes soften. 

“Should I?” I ask him a question back. 

He rests his head on his palms, “If you can’t figure out what’s your regrets, you should go check out everything, everyone that was important to you when you were alive. Maybe you can discover something.” 

I think through his words and realize I probably should go see Allie. I miss her and I want to know what she’s doing right now, without me. 

“Alright, let’s go.” 

We float in the air together, the wind brings us north, which is towards Allie’s house. Flying feels more than unrealistic, but it’s enjoyable. I like to race with the birds, though we usually lose because they have their wings and we can only go with the wind. 

“Wait, I still haven’t asked for your name.” I look in his direction as we fly over a tall building with many office workers walking in. It’s already the morning. 

“I’m Caden.” he says, “And you?” 

“Francis,” I answer shortly.

“A very old-fashioned name.” Caden nods his head, “I like it.” 

“Thanks.” I don’t have much else to say. Even though we have become friends, it still 

feels odd for me to talk to a middle-aged man who’s not my father or teacher. Caden seems like one of those basic company workers that you see every day without noticing. I can’t complain about his identity, though, because I’m also just one of those basic teenage boys who want to find a bright future for himself. Well, not anymore. We’re both just dead people now. 

After a while, we arrived on top of Allie’s house. We carefully rest our bodies and get close to the ground. I walk up to Allie’s front door first and knock on the door, but my hand goes right through the door. 

“You’re funny, don’t you remember you’re a ghost? You can just walk in, no need for permission.” Caden laughs at me. 

“It’s my first 24 hours of being a ghost, stop laughing.” 

Then I follow his words and step into the house without hesitation. Her house is still clean and minimalistic, it’s the style that her mother likes. Allie herself likes flowers and everything floral around her room. I have never counted how many floral tops she has, but I bet it’s more than all my tops. There’s no one in the living room, Allie’s mother is usually at work during this time, and Allie should be getting ready for school. I lead Caden up the stairs to Allie’s room, and we see the door is open. Allie is in there, looking into the mirror. She still looks as beautiful as she is.  

“Your girlfriend’s eyes are so red.” Caden notices a thing that I didn’t notice, “She must be crying overnight. Are you sure she’s the one that pushed you down the cliff? Maybe it was just an accident.” 

“I hope it was.” I put my hands around Allie’s neck, hugging her as she puts on her hairclip. My hands are still invisible. She stands still in front of the mirror, not watching the time. She really needs to start walking to school. Before this, I’d never seen her losing track of time. Right now she just seems miserable. “Caden, what should we do now? If not seeing Allie is my regret, then I should be gone right now since I’ve already seen her. But I can’t think of anything particularly important for me that I’ll be regretting.” 

“Maybe there’s something about you and Allie that you don’t know yet.” Caden scratches his head, “After seeing so many people, I can tell that this girl has a special connection with you, but it isn’t something easy to figure out.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is, you guys aren’t just a couple. There’s another connection between you and her. A connection that you don’t know. I guess that’s what we are trying to figure out right now before you go to heaven.” 

“Or hell,” I add. 

“I don’t think you’ll be going to hell, you seem like an innocent teenager.” Caden laughs comfortably. Caden always laughs at the most random things. 

“Sure,” I say. 

We follow Allie to school. She’s been walking pretty slowly, not seeming to care about the time flying. If I was still alive, I would not allow her to be late to school like this. I want her to keep her energy even after I’m gone. I shouldn’t be the one to stop her from moving on to a colorful future. She should be moving on without me, and find another one that can support her in her life. How can I die before her? This must be a joke, this can’t be real. Everything feels surreal now, and it’s more than horrible. There are still lots of things I want to do with Allie, the things I planned in my head, the things I promised her…and now I have no chance to make them come true. Sorrowfulness fills up my lungs but it can’t matter anymore because I no longer need to breathe. 

“Let’s stop here.” I say, standing straight, “I can’t do this anymore. I need time to process this, I can’t be watching Allie like this. I want her to live without me, but being beside her just makes me want her to stay with me more.” 

Caden watches me as I take a few steps backward, and eventually turn around to face the other direction. “If that’s what you want, sure.” I’m surprised that he is very open about this, though I guess it doesn’t matter to him anyway, why would a teenager’s love story bother him? 

“What about you?” I ask, “What about your regret?” 

He sighs, but keeps a smile on his face, “You are finally asking.”

“Sorry,” I say it almost like a whisper. 

“It’s fine. My regret is a bit like yours. I want to talk to my child, at least for once. I haven’t been able to talk to my baby because he doesn’t understand, anyway. But I want to let him know clearly that I, as his father, love him a lot, and I want to apologize for leaving him alone with his mother. I want to let him know that he should have a father figure in his life, and tell his mother to move on.” 

“That’s a very adult thing to say.” 

“Of course, you young people can’t understand the struggles of being an adult. But that’s okay because young days are always the best.” 

“Now, let’s go see your baby.” 

We hop in the air again, this time, to somewhere that I’ve never been to. 

We land in front of a wooden house with the smell of baked goods coming out of it. His wife must be good at baking, even me, as a ghost, is craving for whatever she’s baking right now. We casually walk into the house and we immediately see his wife bring out trays of fresh-baked cookies. 

“Your wife is so talented.” I’m impressed by how tasty the cookies look. 

“She is, and that’s one of the reasons why I love her.” 

Caden wanders around in the house and seems to be finding something. 

“Here’s my baby.” 

I follow Caden’s eyes and land them on a baby bed. A baby is sleeping peacefully by himself, unbothered. 

“Adorable.” I compliment. 

Caden touches the baby softly, his hands going through the baby’s cheeks. This scene somehow makes my eyes sour. I wonder what the baby will turn out to be like when he grows up, I hope he becomes healthy, and happy even without ever knowing his own father. 

“This kid needs to be the luckiest kid in the whole world.” Caden whispers in his child’s ears, “I will make sure everything goes well for you in the other world. I love you so much.” 

My eyes are wet. My father has never said anything like this to me before, but maybe there are always words like that on his mind that he just can’t tell. What does he think about the fact that I’m no longer alive? Selfish child. 

“See, I’m not disappearing, there must be something else that I need to do for my child before I go.” Caden removes his hands from the baby and looks at me, “I just can’t figure out what to do, it’s been months, and it’s painful to see my baby grow up without me. It hurts to not be able to do anything.” 

“I understand,” I don’t, but I want to say that to make him feel better. I am trying to understand, though. 

We just stand like that for another hour, watching the baby sleep. Somehow it’s comforting, as if the baby is my sibling, as if we are related. 

It becomes nighttime very soon. A thing about being a ghost is that you rarely feel time passing because of how free you are. Being a ghost means that you can do anything at any time because there’s nothing to limit your actions, except that you aren’t able to communicate with people alive. Other than that, being a ghost is a fun experience. 

The baby has been sleeping for hours now, babies are very good at sleeping. Watching them is like watching a movie that never ends, you can’t predict what’s going to happen in the next second, but you are also hoping the movie to end soon. Caden doesn’t seem to get bored of watching the baby, though. It does make much sense since it’s his son. 

While we wait for the baby to wake up, we are also keeping an eye on Caden’s wife. Other than baking, she also watches a lot of TV. Caden says that it’s a way for her to forget all the sadness from losing him. He says that the time that she spends on TV has increased after he left. 

“Have you even considered to just stay here with your family for the rest of their lives? I mean, are you desperate to go to the other world?” I ask. 

“I have, except I came to realize that I can’t do anything while staying here. But if I go up there, there is a chance that I can turn into God, and help my family get through all the tough times. If I’m only here watching them all the time, I can’t actually do anything to benefit them.”  

“God, huh.” I shrug as if he’s not being serious. 

“God is a bit impossible, but at least I can beg God to help my family when they need it. It’s better to have the chance than not.” He laughs. 

I watch as his wife moves to another room, I follow up to see what she’s about to do. 

She sits down on her chair and opens her laptop, she opens up a document and starts typing. Caden also follows over and stands next to me. 

“What is she doing?” I ask Caden. 

“She’s writing,” Caden says, “she likes to write stories, she writes really good stories, not to brag.”

I process his words. Writing. Writing!

“What if you write a letter to your son? You can write everything that you want to tell him down, and he can read it when he grows up.”

“That’s a cute idea, except I can’t touch papers and pencils. Remember? Our bodies go through everything.” 

“Why not give it a try first?” 

I walk out of the room and see papers and pens being left on the table. I take a deep breath and reach out my hands to grab them. 

I can’t touch them.

“See? What did I just say?” Caden sighs as he pats me on the shoulder. 

“You try.” I take his hand and put it on the papers. He shakes his head but still tries to grab the paper. He carefully picks up the paper, expecting it to go through his hand. But then we realize that the papers don’t go through his hands. They don’t!

“See! What did I just say!” I jump up and down. 

He’s shocked by what he is seeing in front of him: he’s touching something physical. “No…this can’t be happening…how does this even make any sense?” 

“Maybe you are very attached to papers,” I make a guess, “now, try picking up the pens.” 

He does what I tell him to do. The pens are also touchable for him. He gasps as I clap my hands to celebrate. “You can write a letter to your son! Congratulations!” 

“This can’t be happening…” He holds onto the papers and pens tight, “This is a miracle. This is wonderful! Francis, what have you discovered?” 

“Thank me later, quick, write down what you want to say.” 

He does. He sits down on the ground and starts drafting what he wants to write. He’s taking it very seriously. But now I am starting to wonder how this works. Is it a bug of the ghost’s world? Are we just lucky? Or is there a purpose? Maybe we are only allowed to feel things that we are very attached to, that can help us successfully go to the other world. That means there must be something that I can touch, too. What can it be? 

“I’m done.” 

He writes unbelievably fast as if he’s been training how to write quickly for the past years. I lean over to look at what he has come up with, but he takes away the paper from me. 

“This can only be for my son, sorry, kiddo.” 

I side-eye him, “That’s funny.” Though I do respect his decision. 

He puts the letter right by his son’s bed. Then he bends forward to kiss his forehead, though he doesn’t succeed. A smile still hangs on Caden’s face. The baby’s eyes open slowly. He stares at us as if he can see us. Caden smiles wider at the baby, and the baby smiles back, not sure if he’s smiling at us, or the ceiling above us. I secretly hope he does see us, especially his father who loves him more than I can imagine. 

“Now, I think it’s time.” 

Caden stands up straight, looking at me. His face is somehow getting blurry. His body fades out. Something is happening to him. 

“What do you mean?”

He walks closer to me and he puts his arms around me, “Thank you, thank you.” 

Before I can realize that there is no more time left for us, he’s already gone. 

The moon isn’t covered by the clouds tonight, the sky is unconvincingly clear. 

I walk my way back to Allie’s house. Now that Caden is gone, I feel extra lonely. It feels odd to be alone. Lights are coming out of Allie’s windows, her family must be awake. I take a step into the house and see no one but Allie, walking up the stairs to her room. I follow her. She puts her backpack down on the ground and sits on her chair, looking outside of her window. She is thinking about something. 

I look around the room, trying to find the one thing that I might be able to touch. There’s a high chance that my special object is related to Allie, but there is also a chance that it’s in my house.  There are too many possibilities and I just need to try all of them. It’s okay because I have plenty of time, there’s no need to rush as a ghost. 

“Francis.” 

I turn back around to look at Allie.

“Francis, you are here, right?”

My mouth is wide open, “Allie?”

Suddenly I feel like I’m back to life again. Allie is calling me, my name, Francis. 

“You can see me?” I stare at her and she stares right back, right into my eyes. 

“I can, since the time you and the other guy came. I thought it was an illusion, but it seems like you are here, as a…ghost?”

“A ghost, yes, a ghost.” My warm tears start falling and it’s uncontrollable. It’s the feeling of joy. “How have you been?”

“Pretty bad, everyone at school has been asking me about you. I have to go talk to the police and therapists. Everyone wants to support me, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable.” 

“That sucks,” I say. 

We stay in silence for a few seconds. Allie is very calm, she’s breathing steadily, normally. On the other hand, my heartbeat is racing, my hands are shaking. She doesn’t get her eyes off of me and nor do I.

“Allie, there must be something that you are hiding from me, right?”

She smiles, but it isn’t a proud one. “Francis, you are getting more mature.”

Everything happened when I was four years old. I was a grumpy child, a wild thing. I was the kind of kid that parents want to avoid their kids to hang out with. That’s how bad I was. I broke things, screamed in public, and annoyed everyone around me. At that point, my parents had given up on me and left me crazy. I liked to go on adventures by myself and find creatures in nature. I would always have so much fun with them, but there was no one I could talk to. I didn’t have any friends. None. 

Until a man came into my world. He was an environmentalist whom I made friends with during my adventure in the woods. He was the first adult to ever actively listen to me talk about my unfiltered dreams. He showed interest in my words and my thoughts. He told me that I could work with him when I grew older, and he said he would take me to places that I had never been, and teach me how to explore even bigger things. He was like the adult I wanted to become. 

I thought my days were going to continue like this. Whenever I get too comfortable in an environment, something must happen to me to stop me from being too well. It was the same for this story: the only friend I had left me, permanently. Forever. He’s never coming back to me. 

I was on the road, trying to find a certain type of plant to impress the environmentalist. I wanted to prove that I was a child who knew more than others, that I was special, that I was unique, and that I deserved his attention. He followed after me, trusting my sense of direction. I caught a stray cat walking on the road and held it up to show him.

“Look at what I found!” I said proudly. 

He looked at the cat and looked back at me. 

“What a cute cat you found, Francis.” His voice was always soft and slow-paced. It calmed me down even though most of the time I felt rather annoyed. I loved him as a father, and he had more connections than me with my father. 

The cat moved violently in my hands, it was trying to escape. I tried to calm it down but it gave me a scratch and ran away immediately. I ran behind it because I wanted to get it back in my hands, though I wasn’t aware of the red light shining right in front of me. 

“Francis!” I turned around because he was yelling at me, trying to stop me from running onto the crosswalk. But it was too late. 

A car honked at me while I caught the cat in my arms. I closed my eyes tight and I felt a warm body holding me as the honking got quieter. I waited for a few seconds until I opened my eyes again. 

I saw the environmentalist on the ground, eyes opened, as shocked as me. 

“Are you okay?” My voice was shivering because of the blood coming out of the back of 

his head. It was my first time seeing so much blood coming out of someone. I leaned over to him and watched him blink a few times. “I’m good, I’m good.” He stood up slowly and I held onto his arms to make sure he wouldn’t fall. He took a deep breath and smiled at me, “Are you okay?” “Yeah.” “That’s good, then.” 

He told me to hold onto the cat carefully and keep it safe. I nodded and promised him that I would do my best to take care of it. He never stopped smiling at me and he told me he wanted to spend more time with me, but he had to go somewhere else for a meeting. He said goodbye and walked away with the sun falling from the sky. That was the last time I saw him. Later in the week, the cat we saved died. I cried for so long, so long. 

“My father died soon after the accident.” Allie explains, “It was a miracle that he didn’t die immediately, which means his body was pretty strong. He laid on the hospital bed for a few days and he told me all about you. About how nice it’ll be to have a son like you, or about how much he wanted us to be friends with each other. He told me that I would like you as a person. I did like you as a person, Francis.” She laughs, remembering that I am now a ghost. 

“To be honest, I dated you for revenge, Francis. It felt magical the day I saw you again. You didn’t change much, you know. Maybe I did, and that’s why you didn’t recognize me.” she says as she brushes her hair with her fingers, “I managed to let you fall in love with me because I came to the solution that the best way to get revenge is to break your heart, I wanted you to know how bad I felt when my father left me because of you.”

I chuckled softly, convincing myself that this was all a lie, an illusion. She’s even too cute at this moment, even though she’s pointing an invisible knife at me. I like this side of her, the side of her that doesn’t make up lies. Right now she is true, she is real. 

“The moment I pushed you down the cliff, my heart shivered. It wasn’t because I was scared of my actions, but because I realized I actually had feelings for you. I’ve never thought that I would be in love with you, it was like a joke. When I realized that I would regret my decision, you were already in the sea. It was too late, Francis.”

Her tears slide down her cheeks and begins to soak her light pink baby tee. I reach out my hand to wipe off the tears on her face, but my hand is invisible. She is now untouchable. I feel the distance between life and death, it’s so far, so far. 

“And after all, you still give me butterflies.”