I brushed my teeth and softly combed my hair. I glanced at my complexion in the mirror, and then swiftly shut the lights off and climbed into my bed. The warm breeze entered my room through the open window and I felt a sense of peace. I had one of the longest days and I longed to fall asleep and forget about everything. My eyes slowly closed and drifted from reality to my dreams, or more so nightmares.

I watched the light in her room flicker off. I was thankful that her window was open. It was easier this way. I could enter her room without making too much noise. I had been planning this night for a very long time and I couldn’t be any happier that it was finally happening. She was the girl I wanted to capture, the girl I wanted to grow old with, and it was time to follow through with my plan.  

I was in a dead sleep before it happened. I was awakened by a loud bang and fear took over my body as I looked over and saw a man climbing through my open window, the window that I wholeheartedly wish I had shut. My first thought was to scream and get the attention of my parents, but it was too late, he covered my mouth with his hand and held me at gunpoint. Tears dripped down my cheeks as I realized the danger I was in. I wanted my mom.

As I squeezed through the window I made the mistake of knocking my knee into her bedside table and as I did this, she awakened. I was thrilled and scared all at the same time. I removed the gun from my pocket, which I only needed to scare her and was never actually going to use. I held it to her head as she quietly sobbed. I filled with guilt and remorse. I didn’t want to hurt her, I didn’t want her to be sad, I just wanted to have her to myself. My thoughts of regret began to flood my head. I couldn’t do it… but maybe I could. I could. I will. I’m going to.

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity. I started to think that maybe this was all a dream and he would put his gun back in his pocket and leave my room forever. That’s not what happened. He tied my hands and feet together with a rope, so tight that it hurt. I wept softly knowing that I wasn’t going to be able to get out of this. I was being kidnapped. I wondered if I’d ever see my family again. This made me cry more. He picked me up and lowered me out of the window and then quickly followed. I prayed a neighbor would be outside. He sprinted to his car with me draped over his shoulder as I screamed and kicked as much as humanly possible. No one came to my rescue.

After successfully getting to my car and putting her into the trunk, I began the hour drive to the cabin we’d be staying in. I decorated it so nicely. I hoped she would love it. Maybe it would make her stop crying. Maybe. I could hear her trying to escape from the back. I wished she would just accept what was happening. I wished she could feel as good as I felt in this particular moment. I captured my dream girl and I was never letting her go.

I searched the miniscule trunk of the car that I was squeezed into. There wasn’t a single tool that could help me escape this vehicle. I could barely breathe and I wondered how much longer I’d be stuck in here. Part of me hoped we’d never stop driving so that I didn’t have to face him ever again. The other part of me wanted him to open the trunk this instant so I could have a chance to escape. I was confused. I didn’t know what I did to deserve this.

A feeling of guilt swept over my body as i continued driving. All i wanted was a life with her. I didn’t want her to feel trapped. I didn’t want her to want to go home. I wanted her to think of this as her new home and genuinely want it to be her new home. I wanted her to stop squirming in the trunk. It was making me anxious. I wanted to arrive at our house. I wanted this  car ride to end. It will be over in 30 minutes. Only 30 minutes and it will be over. I continued to calm myself down throughout the rest of the ride.

The trunk flew open and he was standing over me smiling. “Welcome home” were the words that exited his mouth. I was baffled by these words. Did he think I was happy to be here? Did he forget that he had recently held me at gunpoint, locked me in his trunk and kidnapped me? He lifted me out of the trunk and my eyes darted around in an attempt to figure out where I was and how I could escape. My heart sank to my stomach as I realized we were in the middle of nowhere. We were surrounded by trees, trees and more trees. There was a small cabin to the right, and an even smaller pond to the left. I started to hyperventilate, my surroundings became blurry and I fell to the ground, passing out.

    I was disappointed that she fainted. I wanted to see her reaction to where we were. I wanted her to calm down and realize that she was safe. I brought her into the house and put her in our bed and tucked her in so she could get some sleep. I couldn’t wait for her to wake up so we could begin our adventures together. I started cooking breakfast so that it would be ready when she awoke from her slumber. I sat at the kitchen table from 3:13 a.m. to 5:21 a.m. when I finally heard movement from our bedroom. I started to walk down the hallway, getting more excited with each step closer to the door.

I opened my eyes and began looking around frantically. He wasn’t here. I jumped out of the bed and started searching for something, anything that could get me out of here. Get me back to my house, back to my family, back to my normal life. I pulled open every drawer and glanced high and low. A black handle sticking out from under the bed caught my attention, it was the gun, and it was loaded. I shoved it into the back of my pajama pants and continued to scavenge the room. I was taken back by the things I saw. Picture frames scattered the room. When I took a closer look, I came to the realization that I was in every picture, but I wasn’t alone. He was right next to me in every picture. The childhood photos were authentic, but the more recent ones were photoshopped. I stared at them until it came to me, I knew who this was. I felt nauseous upon this recognition, and tears welled up in my eyes. I heard a creek from behind me and when I whipped around, he was standing there smiling, holding a platter of food in his hands.

I entered the room and saw her standing in the corner. She looked like she had seen a ghost. I slowly approached her and stuck out the platter for her to take. She refused. This made me upset. I spent time making this for her, the least she could do was taste it. I offered it again. This time she refused and smacked the platter down. I gasped as the glass hit the floor and shattered to pieces around us. This made me mad. I grabbed her arm and scolded her. “Never disrespect me again or there will be consequences”. What she said in response shook me to my core.

I couldn’t believe it was him. I couldn’t believe that he thought what was happening was completely normal. I couldn’t believe that he grasped my arm with such force and anger. I wasn’t going to let him get away with this. “I know it’s you Cedar, now back away and let me leave or I will shoot you”. I grabbed the gun from my pants and held it to his head. I didn’t want to shoot him. But I would if I had to. He stood limp for a moment, and then, in what seemed like a split second, he charged at me and we both fell to the ground. The gun escaped my grasp and he lunged forward to obtain it. I kneed him in the stomach and as he fell in pain, I got the gun again. I ran to the opposite side of the room. “Please, please don’t come any closer or I will shoot you, I will kill you I swear Cedar, we’re not kids anymore”. The look in his eyes slowly switched from fear to anger and he sprang towards me once more. I pulled the trigger. The bullet hit him straight in the chest and he dropped to the ground in slow motion. The gun slipped from my grasp as I began to sob. My childhood best friend just kidnapped me. The friend that I spent every day with from the the ages 2 to 10. I never believed the rumors about him after we had lost contact, but I was fooled. He was a sociopath. He did have terrible motives. He was a kidnapper. I sat on the ground next to him for an hour trying to take in everything that just happened. When I finally found the strength to stand up, I knew I needed to find a phone. I looked in every room, and while doing this, saw that he had decorated the entire house for us. He had been planning to keep me here for a long, long time. The thought of that was chilling. The thought of him believing we were a couple, believing I would stay here forever, believing that we could start a family. I turned to the garbage can and threw up.The whole idea of this was sickening.

I finally found the phone and immediately called 911. They assured me that everything would be okay and that they would be there as fast as possible. I sat there, still on the line, until I heard sirens approaching. When I opened the front door I saw multiple police cars and ambulance, but the most important thing I saw was my parents car. My mom jumped out of the front seat and sprinted towards me. The hug that she gave me made me feel safe again. Her embrace convinced me that everything would be alright. When my dad and siblings joined in on the hug, I felt whole. I knew that something terrible had just happened, but I got through it. It all happened in the blink of an eye and I wanted to erase those memories from my head forever. I will not let this night affect me. He is gone and I can move on. This night never happened. These are the things I told myself, yet I never truly moved on. To this day I continue to think about that night and I’ve done a great amount of investigating and research on Cedar. Research that opened many doors and showed me how insane he really was. That night could’ve ended much different, and I was eternally grateful it hadn’t.