Finding The Alley Hall | Teen Ink

Finding The Alley Hall

May 17, 2022
By Anonymous

Author's note:

Sorry if it is not the best, I am a pretty new writer and have trouble keeping things straight.

This day couldn’t possibly get worse and if it does I would like to just cease to exist for a bit. First, it was getting into a car wreck and having to do the paperwork for two hours straight. The paperwork took even longer because the wreck was potentially caused by magic.  And itwasn’t even that bad of an accident. I wasn’t even the one using illegal magic so why on Earth did I have to fill out more paperwork then the other guy. Next was not meeting my daily reading count. Now it wasn’t like I lost hundreds of readers, honestly, it was maybe like ten readers. But over time that’ll turn into 20, then 50, then eventually I will lose all my readers and have to go back to a 9-5 job. That cannot happen. Let’s just take a walk and see if I can scout any new places to review. Who knows, maybe I will find the next best restaurant and make them blow up. Doesn’t happen all that often, but it definitely does happen and it's a great feeling. 

So far there are no new restaurants on 7th Avenue or the Plaza. I guess the best thing to do is just head on home and wait… What's that? I have never seen this place before. “The Alley Hall”  this was not here a few weeks ago. How could a hall just appear out of nowhere? Well might as well head in and check it out. If it's cool I can keep coming back and keep reviewing the different restaurants and see how it does on the site. Lets go inside and just look around and- woah. This definitely was not here the last time I walked by. Why is this place so large it’s basically a stationary tardis. And something wrong is the people here, they all have weird eyes. All of their eyes are strangely big compared to other people, it looks like they are about to pop out of their heads. That is a characteristic of Mystics, but who would be dumb enough to gather this many of them in one place, right?

Other than the strange looking people there are so many different scents in the air. It’s hard to pick which ones smell good or bad because of how many there are-

I really need to figure out where I am going to go, I keep getting distracted the scents I keep wandering off further and further into the dining hall. Eeny, meeny miny, that one. Looks like today I will be going to get some kebabs from “Cooked Sticks.” Weird name but not, not accurate.

“Welcome to Cooked Sticks! I am Kara, what can I get for you today?”

“Hello Kara, let me have a look at the menu really quick before I order.”

“Okay sir, take your time.”

They have some weird stuff on here, like really weird stuff. For example, they have ferret on a stick. Why would they do that to those poor ferret, they are to cute to do that to them. I can’t even imagine doing that to my ferret! There are barely any relatively normal items to get. Out of everything on the menu I guess I will go with the chicken kebabs.

“Can I get just get a small order chicken kebabs?”

“Of course, would like you the large small or the medium small?”

“I guess the medium small chicken?”

“Card or cash?”

“Neither sir, hold out your hand please”


“So I can scan your imprint of course.”

Wait imprints! That’s what Mystics use for magic, why would she just ask that out in the open. Maybe these people really are insane.

“Can I speak to the owner of this establishment please?”

Hopefully whoever owns this place can explain to me why these people are so openly discussing illegal activites. Magic is not to be discussed so openly talked about. It was at one point but since those wayward Mystics started attacking cities, it’s become illegal to talk about. 

“Miss Zerik will see you now sir.”

Finally! I’ll be able to actually get some answers as to what is going on here. Why are there so many shiny lights all of a sudden? I think I need a trashcan… 

“Congrats Zeri you killed the man!”

“Calm down he’s not dead, just… sleeping.”

“Whatever you say, Im going to go back to sleep. Later.” 

Ughhhh, whatever that was I don’t want to do it again. It was like going through a loop roller coaster at the same time as going on a bullet train which was going up. If I have to I will cry then cease to exist. I would rather that not happen, I would quite like to keep existing for the time being. Did I pass out from whatever just happened to me? If so that is very embarrassing, imagine if my readers found out. They would think I was a joke and I would lose even more readers.

“It is rude to ask for an audience with someone then just ignore them small one.”

Why is she calling me small on- oh, THAT’s why she called me small one. She is absolutely ginormas. I basically have to make a 90 ° angle with my back. Other than her being very large she seems relatively normal. Like most of the others hear she has larger than average eyes. To be honest, she mostly just dresses like a hippie…

/stop thinking about me like you are writing a review/

 “How are you doing that?”

“It’s really not that difficult to take a peek in someone’s mind if they aren’t the most, well what’s the word… I guess the best way to describe it is weak.”

“Are you kidding me?! I just got here after almost dying and I am already get insulted by a weird, large-eyed, hippie lady. I demand an apology.”

“Now why would I apologize for something I am not sorry for?”

Honestly that’s fair. I wouldn’t apologize for something I wasn’t sorry for either. But she didn’t have be rude about it. Even a simple “no” would be better  than what she said. Nevermind this, I have a few questions and I want answers.

“So what are your questions for me?”

“First what is this place, second why is there such a blatant disregard for laws, and most importantly why on Earth would you cook those poor ferrets!”

“The answer to your first two questions is pretty easy to answer. The last one I don’t really have an answer for that since I didn’t make the menu for ‘Cooked Sticks.’”

“Okay get on with it. Answer my questions, I have time.”

“So the answer to your first question is that this is the Alley Hall. Alley Hall is an  almost neverending collection of Mystic owned restaurants that travels around Chicago and puts it’s entrance in random alleyways, hence the name.”

“For your second question I would like you to elaborate on.”

“Everyone here is a Mystic! And everyone knows that practicing magic is super illegal. And while yes there are permits you can get but I highly doubt that you actually have… a… permit. Oh my god you actually have a permit, don’t you.”

“Correct small one, I do indeed have a permit and it’s a special one at that.”

“How is it special?”

“Let’s just say that it gives everyone that practices magic, who walks into these doors, certain protection from laws for mortals. What are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m writing everything down for an article I might write later. Keep talking.”

“You are not allowed to write about this place. We have had journalists come in and try to talk about/ expose us. They had to be taken care of.”

“In what way do you mean taken care of?”

I am terrified right now. 

“Let’s just say that there mnight be a few immortal snakes that live in this building somewhere. And they do not get fed all that often.”

“Waitwaitwaitwait you don’t need to do that I can just walk out and you never have to see me again.”

“But that’s not very fair to the other writers that were fed to the Jerrys. It’s only right that you get treated the same as the rest.”

“ What if we make a deal!”

“What kind of deal?”

Okay, I might be able to survive after all.

“What if I give my services to you?”

“What services could you possibly offer. We have magic, you don’t have anything you could offer me.”

“I could offer you my readers.”


“I write my reviews about different restaurants around the Hall, post it online to my readers and then boom. You guys get a giant influx of customers that could potentially make people more okay with the idea of magic users,  and I don’t have to die.”

“Interesting offer, mortal. What would you gain from this?”

“Like I said, I don’t have to die. I would basically be the exclusive food blogger for the Alley Hall.”

“ That sounds interesting. I think you might have yourself a deal.”

I go to shake her hand and it feels like I am being burned and being frozen at the same time.


To Be Continued

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