Characters
ASTEROID MAN -Middle-aged superhero with the ability to summon asteroids. Sad and
depressed
HAZEL - A small happy-go-lucky woman with brown hair in her 20’s
T.V. ANCHOR - Male anchorman. Loud and obnoxious
Setting
ASTEROID MAN’S LIVING ROOM
A (Not So) Useless Hero
(A dim light is cast upon the set. Here we see a man, ASTEROID MAN, sitting in
front of a T.V. set, his face illuminated with a blue hue. The apartment is disheveled
with pizza boxes littered about the floor. ASTEROID MAN looks like a middle-aged
man with a beer belly and a five o’clock shadow)
T.V. ANCHOR: It has been weeks since the last appearance of Asteroid Man. The town has
already faced less destruction. Finally, the townspeople have been able to repair the rubble caused
by Asteroid Man’s attempt to save a cat from a tree. (ASTEROID MAN groans) There is only so
much a man with the power to summon giant asteroids from space can do and saving a cat from a
tree is not one of them. Many people have reported the damages to their insurance companies,
hoping to be composited. Now for the weather with Liz Bertly, Liz?
(With this, ASTEROID MAN threw a slice of pizza at the T.V. Realizing that was his
last piece of pizza, he falls to the ground and begins to sob)
ASTEROID MAN (between sobs): All I was trying to do was help people. How was I supposed
to know summoning an asteroid from space wouldn’t get that cat out of the tree? Can’t people see
that I am trying my best? Stupid! What am I supposed to do now? Get a desk job? How would I
do that? Could I summon asteroids to help me type up a production report? This world is so cruel
to men who can make pieces of rockfall from the sky!
(ASTEROID MAN begins to pace around the living room, kicking pizza boxes.
From off the wall, he picks up a picture and looks at it longingly. He proceeds to
slump back down on the couch, laying the picture on the cluttered coffee table, his
head held in his hands.)
ASTEROID MAN: Oh Lisa, my Meteor Girl, life has treated you so fairly. I wanted to be your
hero so badly. But your mother didn’t think it would be safe for you to stay with me. Apparently, I
am too much of a safety hazard for a young girl to be around. (ASTEROID MAN groans) Maybe
your mother was right. I mean, she did have to go to the hospital due to my asteroids. Speaking of
which, I still need to pay her for all the costs that the insurance didn’t cover.
(With this thought, ASTEROID MAN walks offset. We hear a slight knocking on the
door. The door is pushed open by the knocking of HAZEL, a young woman with
brown hair. She enters the apartment and steps into a pizza box. She looks down at
her feet in disgust and proceeds to weave her way around the pizza boxes and to
the couch. She sits down, eyes scanning the sad apartment. ASTEROID MAN
renters the room, looking at his phone and sits next to the girl. HAZEL smiles at
him and meets his glance. ASTEROID MAN jumps with a gasp to the other side of
the couch.)
ASTEROID MAN: Who in the heck are you?! Why are you in my apartment? Don’t make me
hurt you. I have already hurt a bunch of people.
HAZEL (Said with a smile): I am your neighbor, from down the hall. Hazel. But I don’t think you
would have noticed me. Whenever you would leave the complex you ran out screaming “There is
someone to save. This is a job for Asteroid Man.”
ASTEROID MAN (With a twisted look on his face): Was I really that distracted by the call of
those in need?
HAZEL: Yes. Aren’t you still? I just saw the news report and they say you have been inactive for
a while. Since I am your neighbor, I thought the nice thing would be to come by and make sure
you are okay. I feel like you would do the same thing for someone in need.
ASTEROID MAN: It doesn’t matter if I hear that call or not. It is clear by what the news said: I
am not fit to be a hero, physically and mentally (Pokes his beer belly). I only seem to cause more
bad than good. I am apparently so oblivious to my surroundings that I didn’t even know you were
here. I am so sorry for the trouble that I caused. I just wanted to be the kind of dad that my
daughter could look up to. But I am too much of a safety hazard and too distracted to know. (He
begins pacing back and forth in front of the couch)
HAZEL (Watching ASTEROID MAN pace in front of her): It sounds like you are quitting. Please
tell me you are not. This place still needs you. We still need Asteroid Man. Why would you quit
such an important job?
ASTEROID MAN: Isn’t it obvious, I am not fit for doing this job. Everyone, even my daughter’s
mother, thinks I am a wreckless child-like man, set on the dream of being a hero. Who believes that
no matter what is going on around him that he is doing the right thing. But now, after that incident
with the cat in the tree, I have seen that I have been blinded by my own power and stupidity. The
most heroic thing I can do now is quit.
(ASTEROID MAN returns to the couch and puts his head in his hands. HAZEL
offers a reassuring pat on the shoulder and begins to comfort him with babbling
like one would try to do with a child crying on a public bus. ASTEROID MAN
begins to sob.)
HAZEL: There, there, big guy. There is no reason to be upset. This world still needs you.
(ASTEROID MAN shifts himself into HAZEL's lap, sucking on his thumb while HAZEL attempts
to rock him) It is clear to me that you are trying to help everyone in the only way you know-how.
You know, whenever an asteroid falls from the sky I know you are somewhere, doing your very
best to help us. They are beautiful, kind of like fireworks, lighting up the sky. And when they hit
the ground with that head-shaking thud, it feels like the whole world has turned into an amusement
park ride. People scream as if they were on a roller-coaster.
ASTEROID MAN (Between sniffles): Isn’t that because they are afraid. People run away from
me when I walk along the street because they believe I am a villain…
HAZEL (Interrupting): SHH, SHH, SHH. You are safe with me. Those mean people don’t know
what they are seeing. They might be running to go get something for you to autograph or maybe
even a camera to take a picture with you.
ASTEROID MAN: But no one asks for my...
(ASTEROID MAN is interrupted yet again by HAZEL trying to comfort him. This
the time she grabs a piece of pizza that was stuck in the couch and shoves it into
ASTEROID MAN’s mouth, trying to use it as a pacifier. ASTEROID MAN pushes
himself out of HAZEL’s arms and throws the slice of pizza on to the floor with the
rest of the collection.)
ASTEROID MAN (Yelling): Stop treating me like I am a toddler. (Voice cracks with a slight sob)
I am a man. Not some baby. You are just like the rest of them. Do you think that I am unable to
take care of myself? (ASTEROID MAN tries to hide for HAZEL by hiding under the coffee
table and avoiding her glance) Please leave. You are just like the rest of them.
(HAZEL sits in front of ASTEROID MAN’s face. ASTEROID MAN tries to turn
over and face the other side of the coffee table but he gets caught on his beer belly.)
HAZEL: I am sorry, Asteroid Man, I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to be there for my hero
like my hero is there for everyone in this town when they need help.
ASTEROID MAN: And just like them not wanting help from me I don’t want help from you.
Please leave me alone. I am a good-for-nothing want-to-be hero. Nothing, not even your opinion,
can change that fact.
(HAZEL, with a sad look on her face, walks around the sea of pizza boxes to the
couch to grab her purse. She begins to walk to the door. She reaches for the handle
and looks back to see ASTEROID MAN still stuck under the coffee table. She opens
the door and leaves. When she is off stage ASTEROID MAN sighs a sigh of relief)
ASTEROID MAN: She is a nice girl. Hopefully, once I become less of a danger, I can see my
little Lisa grow up to be a nice woman like her. Now, I need to give her mother that money I owe. I
just need to get my phone. (Tries to move but realizes that he really is stuck) Oh no. I should have
asked that girl, what is her name? Hope to stay. I guess it is a little fitting. A terrible hero without
one to save him in his time of need. I guess that is the end of Asteroid Man. There are so many
things I didn’t get to do. I didn’t even get to make and fight an archnemesis. Woah is me.
(After seeming to have given up we hear the rustle of the doorknob rattle again. We
see HAZEL enter the apartment once again, trying to hold back laughter when she
sees ASTEROID MAN stuck under the table. In her hands, she is carrying a plate
full of cookies and a couple of letters.)
HAZEL (Snickers): Do you need some help there Mr. Hero?
ASTEROID MAN (like a pouty child): I thought I told you to leave me alone.
HAZEL: You did. But then I remembered that I have cookies and who doesn’t love a freshly
baked cookie when they are feeling down? Also, it looks like you may need my help.
ASTEROID MAN (snippy and whiny): I don’t need help!
HAZEL (Matter of factly): Okay. Show me then.
(ASTEROID MAN tries to get himself out from under the table but fails)
ASTEROID MAN: I don’t remember bolting this table onto the floor! This thing must weigh a
ton. Nobody can help me now. This is what I deserve after trapping all of those people under the
wreckage caused by my asteroids.
HAZEL: Now will you let me help?
ASTEROID MAN: I guess but I doubt a pipsqueak as you could…
(ASTEROID MAN stops as he watches HAZEL lift the coffee table with ease.
ASTEROID MAN crawls out from under the table with an expression of awe mixed
with frustration)
HAZEL (with a smile): Wow! That was super easy! My coffee table in my place weighs more
than…
ASTEROID MAN (interrupting): Yeah, Yeah. I know that. I was just um… testing you. Yes!
And you passed with flying colors.
HAZEL: Why were you even testing me?
ASTEROID MAN: Don’t worry about that now. Now, where did you put those cookies?
HAZEL: I will only let you eat cookies if you let me stay here a little bit longer and help you
through this.
ASTEROID MAN: You don't have to tell me twice. Now give me the cookies.
(ASTEROID MAN and HAZEL make their way back to the couch. ASTEROID
MAN begins to stuff his face with cookies while HAZEL makes herself comfortable
and sorts through the stack of letters)
HAZEL (looking down at the letters): You know, whenever you were out doing hero stuff, the
complex didn’t care if I came down to pick up your mail. There was always so much of it they
almost threw it out. I decided that I would give them to you but you have never been here long
enough for me to give them to you. There is so much of it. I bet most of it is fan mail. I have never
read any of it though…
ASTEROID MAN (picking up and beginning to open one of the letters): Really? I never had fans
before! Wow! This is like being a real hero!
HAZEL (pleading): Wait! I don’t think that is such a good idea.
ASTEROID MAN (reading): Dear Mr. Asteroid Man sir, Today I was going about my daily life,
driving my car to work, when I saw an old lady having her purse stolen by a man wearing a ski
mask. I didn’t pay much attention to it because I was focused on the road ahead of me. Then, out
of the blue, I see an asteroid hurtling towards me. I couldn’t get away fast enough. The next thing I
know is that I am in the hospital and my car is totaled…
HAZEL (taking the letter from ASTEROID MAN’s hands): That is enough reading for today. How
about we do something else. Like maybe a puzzle or go get some more pizza.
(HAZEL starts walking to the door of the apartment, she looks back to see
ASTEROID MAN with his head hung low and in his hands again. She begins to
walk back towards him)
ASTEROID MAN (snapping and yelling. On the verge of tears): See! What did I tell you?! All
this mail is probably hate mail telling me to quit. I am not made for this type of work. I should stick
to being a couch potato.
HAZEL: But there must be people out there who look up to you. I mean there is…
ASTEROID MAN (Interrupting): There is no one who appreciates what I do. Not even my own
child is allowed to be around me. I just wanted to be the hero she could look up to. But even now
someone as small as you is looking down at me. I only cause pain to others so it makes sense why
I only get the pain back.
HAZEL: But that is just not...
ASTEROID MAN: Didn’t you hear what that letter said? I am not a good hero. I am a useless
man. Oh god! Have I been so oblivious to all of this death and destruction around me? I don’t even
remember renting this apartment.
HAZEL: But I…
ASTEROID MAN: Oh poor me. Now I will never get the chance to redeem myself. I should get
a job and stop playing pretend just like all the other people my age…
HAZEL (now interrupting and very mad): But I care! To me, you are a great hero!
ASTEROID MAN: You must be blind then. This town is covered in the destruction that I have
caused. Not some random villain. Me!
HAZEL (standing up and yelling at ASTEROID MAN): But that doesn’t matter! You are trying
your best to save people. No one else is brave enough to do what you do. People need you
Asteroid Man!
ASTEROID MAN (Now also standing up and yelling): I have only killed people! I haven’t saved
jack squat! I don’t know what you are seeing but it clearly isn’t what that reporter said or what you
can clearly see right out of that window! Today I am quitting and I am going to try to be a good
father to my little Lisa! I will figure out how to never summon an asteroid again! I will finally be a
useful member of society. Maybe then even my little Lisa’s mother can forgive me and even
someday come back to me.
HAZEL: Who cares about them! You can go ahead and save anyone and everyone. It doesn’t
matter what they think. The only thing that matters is that you get back out there and save people.
ASTEROID MAN (Now really mad): I care about what they think! They are my family and I left
them behind in this silly pursuit of being a hero! You can’t possibly imagine the grief I feel every
single day with them, not by my side. Seeing my little girl grow up without me. She doesn’t know
what it is like to have a father because I have been trying to be there for everyone else but ignoring
her, the one person that has needed me. And now I am here. In this dirty apartment talking to a
woman you just decided to break in and make this place her own. Please get out. You have done
nothing but cause me more pain than I was already in.
HAZEL: We already saw what happened when I left you once. I am not doing that again. Next
time I might find you behind the fridge. Now start thinking like a hero again. What you are
thinking right now is complete nonsense. Start being a hero! We need a hero and we need one
now! Why aren’t you listening to me!
ASTEROID MAN (yelling): Because I never had! I am no hero! Now I am listening to the needs
of many! They don’t need me! This is the first and last heroic thing I am ever going to do! Get out!
You are the villain here!
HAZEL (pleading): I am not a villain! I am speaking for others because… because I need you! I
need your help Asteroid man!
ASTEROID MAN: You must be delusional. To find a real hero, Holly. Leave. For your own
good.
HAZEL: But there are still ways you can help people. Just think!
ASTEROID MAN: Like what?
HAZEL: Like helping people collect insurance money. In this society, there are plenty of people
who need it and with a power like yours you can be a big help to those people.
ASTEROID MAN (dumbfounded): What?!
HAZEL: Yeah, did you not think about that?
ASTEROID MAN: Why? Isn’t that a crime? Like insurance fraud?
HAZEL: Not when they are not expecting it. They aren’t planning on collecting the money. Here,
(hands ASTEROID MAN the letter from before) finish reading it.
(ASTEROID MAN grabs the letter from HAZEL’s hands. He reads the letter as if it
is coming out of a typewriter, the paper slowly covering his face. He pulls the page
down, he makes a puppy face with tears in his eyes)
HAZEL: So? What does it say?
ASTEROID MAN (between sobs): It says, “I had been in a bad financial situation beforehand,
my car had little value before due to wrecks but I claimed they were all from the asteroid. I was
able to get enough money to be able to make it through to next month. So thanks, I wish I had
walked away with fewer injuries but I walked away with hope and a lot of drugs from the hospital.
As I write to you I am taking the strongest pain meds possible. Thanks, Timothy”. Wow. So I am
actually helping people by hurting them?
HAZEL: Yes. I want your help because I am a broke college student who is living in this dump.
ASTEROID MAN (confidence visibly gaining with each line): So do you think all of these letters
are letters thanking me for my heroic acts of justice?
HAZEL: Yes, there is no need to read the rest. Let’s just put these over here. (Moves letters into
the trashcan next to the couch) In this area, there are a lot of college students, middle-class people
, and lower-class people who seek a little more money so they can make it one more month. WIth
you out there they can feel a sort of comfort knowing that all of this damage is not caused by them
and they were not predicting it. You can also use it to help yourself. Is that your car outside?
ASTEROID MAN: Yes, that is my car.
HAZEL: Destroy it. Claim the insurance under your citizen's name. Then you can help pay your
ex’s bills. Maybe then she will take you back and you can be with your daughter once again? You
can also have a day job, like a real superhero with a secret identity. Here, I brought some glasses!
Nobody will be able to tell that it is you with these puppies on.
(HAZEL hands the big blocky framed glasses to ASTEROID MAN. ASTEROID
MAN tries on the glasses and walks off the stage, as if to the bathroom. From offstage we hear a loud girl-like gasp. ASTEROID MAN runs back on stage. The
glasses make ASTEROID MAN’s eyes look huge.)
ASTEROID MAN: They are perfect! I always wanted to be the type of hero to have a secret
identity! When I looked in the mirror I didn’t even know it was me! I mean I can’t see a thing but
they are perfect! But you still think this is the right choice? I still don’t know what I am doing.
HAZEL: And that is just what we want. The less you know the better. Wow! I am in the same
room talking to a hero! This is amazing. Can I have your autograph?
ASTEROID MAN (in a low and heroic voice): Sure!
(HAZEL runs to the nearest pizza box, picks it up, and hands it to ASTEROID
MAN. ASTEROID MAN pulls a really big sharpie out of his back pocket and signs
the box obnoxiously big in all caps. Taking up the whole box.
ASTEROID MAN: You know, kid. You are the real hero of this story.
HAZEL (super happy): Really Mr. Asteroid?
ASTEROID MAN: Yes. You made me realize that this power I have been given by whatever
force is not a curse, but a tool. Now I can (air quotes) “save” people. I am just that great. And I
want to thank you for it. What do you want? I can order a pizza for us to eat.
HAZEL: No sir, that is fine. I came here to cheer you up and ask you to destroy my car. It is the
old one near yours. You can destroy both with one asteroid.
ASTEROID MAN: I have a better idea. What if I make you my sidekick? You can go help
people after I destroy their stuff and tell them what to do from there.
HAZEL: It would be an honor.
ASTEROID MAN: Okay, I do hero work on Wednesdays and Fridays, Saturday and Sunday
there is too much crime for me and I want to stay safe.
HAZEL: Completely understandable. I will go check my calendar and see when I can be of use.
Wow, I am a hero’s sidekick. This is the best day of my life. (said to ASTEROID MAN) Aren’t you
forgetting something, sir?
ASTEROID MAN: Not that I can think of.
HAZEL: This is the perfect amount of stupidity we need from you. The cars. Blow. Them. Up. I
have never seen one of your explosions up close before.
ASTEROID MAN: Oh right. Due!
(ASTEROID MAN extends his hand toward the sky. We hear the sound like a
whistle, the pitch getting lower and lower. Suddenly we hear a large crash and the
sound of car alarms and people screaming. HAZEL and ASTEROID MAN stand in
silence for a few seconds until wear hear the sound of emergency vehicles)
HAZEL: Thanks so much, sir. I am excited to be working with you soon.
(HAZEL grabs her bag from the couch and walks once again around the maze of
pizza boxes. She turns around quickly so that her hair flips and looks at
ASTEROID MAN. HAZEL gives ASTEROID MAN a thumbs up and exits the
stage. We see ASTEROID MAN sit on the couch. He picks up the picture from the
table and he picks up his phone. Concern in his face. He presses buttons on
his phone and then we hear the dial tone. The tone suddenly stops and ASTEROID
MAN’s face lights up. Stage lights become brighter)
ASTEROID MAN (with breaks in between): Hey Laura...Yeah, Yeah. I know you told me never
to call you again... Well I wanted to tell you that I am about to send you some money for all of
your surgeries… How did I get the money?... Well, I haven’t gotten it yet… Wait. Wait Wait!
Don’t hang up!.. I am calling you so you know that I am trying for you and for our Lisa… Yes, I
am finally getting a job… I am doing this for you guys. I still care and I want to be a part of Lisa’s
life. That is if you let me… Yeah… Uh-huh… Well, I am going to change your mind, Laura, I will
make sure of that… Okay… Bye. Tell Lisa I love her and I want to see her soon.
(ASTEROID MAN puts down his phone. On his face is a big smile and a single
tear falls down his cheek. He grabs the piece of pizza that HAZEL tried to feed him
earlier. He chuckles and turns on the T.V... He begins to pick up the pizza boxes that
litter the floor)
T.V. ANCHOR: Just in, we have heard the news of an asteroid appearance on the corner of maple
and main streets here in town. Does this mean that the Asteroid man is back? As you can see here
there is a lot of damage. Thankfully the first responders are used to getting to places that have faced
this type of destruction fairly quickly. The police have done a quick sweep of the streets and have
not found the Asteroid man. If you think you have seen this man please alert the authorities as soon
as you can. The man is volatile and will not hesitate to bury and burn you with an asteroid. Sources
say he is a middle-aged man with a beer belly…
ASTEROID MAN (while poking his belly): It is not fat! It is an asteroid muscle.
T.V. ANCHOR: In other unrelated news, the pizza shop located on 21st street is temporarily
closed due to an outrageous amount of pizza being ordered. The owners of the locally run shop
say that this is the cause of one man. One owner said, “This man comes in every couple of hours
asking for the greasiest pizza we have. We have tried to cut him off in the past but he only throws a
temper tantrum. Now we are out of ingredients to make our signature pizza dishes. We are now
forced to close down our shop for a couple of weeks until we can regain our supplies. I hate to say
this but if you want a pizza I suggest going to other stores for the time being”.
ASTEROID MAN: No! Not Russo’s, I must find the man that has done this and make them pay.
This is a job for none other than Asteroid Man!
(We see ASTEROID MAN leave the stage as if to go to a bedroom. When he
appears he is wearing a spandex suit with a weird-looking design on it. The suit is
more than slightly stained. ASTEROID MAN begins to walk to the door when he
stops and returns to the couch and picks up the photo again from off the coffee
table.)
ASTEROID MAN: This is all for you my little Meteor Girl. I can’t wait to make you proud. I
can’t wait to hold you in my arms and watch you grow. I will make this a place where you can
grow up safe and sound without worry. And maybe, just maybe Your mother may forgive me for
the things that I have done in my past and we can live as one happy family. Now to save the world
(ASTEROID MAN leaves the apartment. The stage lights dim. A couple of seconds
pass and we hear the sounds of car crashes, explosions, and more emergency
vehicles outside the apartment. The T.V. is still glowing and we hear the T.V.
ANCHOR AGAIN)
T.V ANCHOR: It has been a month now since the return of Asteroid Man and things have just
gotten worse. More than half of our fair town is debris from the many asteroids that have hit the
city in the past couple of weeks. We advise everyone who has an emergency bunker for this type
of scenario to take all their friends and family and shove them inside of it. The mayor has asked the
governor to help and send in the National Guard to help with this fiend. The police have needed
backup for the past month but the governor has refused until the situation has gotten this bad.
In other news, insurance companies have faced a surge of claims in the past month. People
are asking to be compensated for the damages caused to their cars, homes, businesses, and bodies.
There have also been a large number of missing person cases, most of which are assumed to be
lost among the town’s rubble.
This just in a large asteroid has been spotted. Our sources are telling us that it is going to
land right on the corner of 25th and Maple street. Wait a minute. Jerry, is this right? I think this is
our place… Oh, s…
(The T.V. begins to static and we hear another explosion/ crash from outside the
apartment along with the lights flickering. The T.V. slowly turns back on and the
lights slowly come back on)
T.V. ANCHOR: Sorry for the lack of updates, folks, but now we are back on the air. We are getting
word that the police, the National Guard, the SWAT team, and the United States military are now
located around the industrial district in town. Our reporters are now saying that they are cornering
Asteroid Man. As you can see here it seems as if he is pleading innocent. In fact, I am just now
being informed he has said something around the lines of “I haven't really hurt anyone, other than
those committing crime on our streets. I am a man who is serving up justice for the people, just like
you kind men. I didn't mean to cause harm. Just like you, I am a normal man who wants to make
this place safe. Please believe me when I say this wasn’t my idea it was Hazel’s.” Um… Jerry, is
this right? Who the keck is Hazel. This man is clearly bonkers. Wait… We are still alive? Oh…
Now the police have this man seduced and under strict custody. Our city will no longer be
destroyed by this asteroid freak. The court case is being scheduled for in a couple of weeks.
Hopefully, this man will get life behind bars and keep his head out of the stars. Now for the
weather with Liz Bertly, Liz?
(Lights go down and there is the sound of cheering from outside the apartment.
Sounds of celebrating fade into the background as the lights. Once again come on
in a cheerful yellow tone. The apartment is now completely clean of ASTEROID
MAN’s personal items all the is left if the living room set up but now we see there
are some items, Possibly those of a new tenets’)
T.V. ANCHOR: Today was the day of the trial Asteroid Man also know by some as Mr. Asteriod.
He and his accomplice, Hazel Wiener, have been charged with accounts of vandalism,
involuntary manslaughter, arson, destruction of property, and several accounts each of insurance
fraud. Over the past eight years, Asteroid Man has destroyed a total of nine hundred sixty thousand
three hundred ninety-one buildings, some of which were repaired after he destroyed them and he
came back and destroyed them again. His partner in crime only joined forces with him recently,
some sources say that she even asked him to destroy a bank so she could walk away with over a
million dollars in cash. Before moving here, she had several unpaid traffic tickets for reckless
driving. We have tried to contact some people who have known the duo but the only reference we
could get was from Asteroid Man’s former wife who simply said, “The man was always crazy.
That is what I liked about him. But after that day where a piece of space debris fell from the sky
and hit his head, he was different. The man I loved slowly slipped away from me in front of my
own eyes. He realized at that moment he could summon asteroids from space. Doctors have
analyzed him and think he came from a rare group of humans. The only thing I believe is that he
still hasn’t paid me all the money he owes me for being his practice dummy for his asteroids.”
Wow, did she actually say that, Jerry?
The town is now throwing a celebration for the life sentence that Asteroid Man received
this morning. The celebration will not have any fireworks since most of the town's folk have PTSD
from the asteroid attacks . Now for the weather for this wonderful day of celebration is our own
meteorologist Liz Bertly, Liz?
(The stage lights cut off. There is a pause as if for applause when the applause
starts, the lights quickly flashback on, now with a red hue.)
T.V. ANCHOR: Everyone, I am sorry to report but after twelve years we have a new super
menace in our midst. She goes by the name Meteor Girl and she takes after the philosophy of the
former Asteroid man. Some speculate that she is the daughter of Asteroid Man, the one he claimed
he did all of his wrong deeds for. We thought things were bad but the meteors are way worse. The
sky has turned red from the flames and ash which have engulfed our city. None of our cops or
local heroes have been able to do anything because of the PTSD from the terrifying asteroid
attacks all those years back. But this is way worse. Some sources have told us that this one can fly.
I believe this is the end for us. Jerry, if you make it out of here alive will you tell Liz I have always
loved her? Wait… You and Liz are married? When did that happen?... Before you came to the
show? Oh. Well, I hope that the meteor lands right on top of me. Just in, Asteroid Man has escaped
prison due to a meteor hitting it. That is it we are all doomed. Goodbye cruel world. Now to the
weather with Liz Bertly… It is just meteors and ash cut it.
(The lights intensify, as bright as they possibly can be. Then we hear the loudest
crash and boom. Suddenly we hear nothing and the lights, for the last time, flicker
and go-to black)
END