The Midden | Teen Ink

The Midden

March 26, 2016
By Anonymous

Author's note:

I hope that people see this for what it is. It is a reflection of Finn as he grows and changes over the 2 years and some-odd months the book takes place over. I want to focus a lot on what I love and feel is underrated in books, character arcs and development. I want the reader to think, over the course of the book as more gets added "Is this even the same 'Finn' from the start of the book?"

 

now, this isnt in the short snippet included here, but I spent over a year working on something I was disatisfied with, so here is a taste of my style and the introduction of my current passion; "The Midden."

 

also, none of the cover options really made sense. Dont judge a book by its cover, I guess :p

The author's comments:

The flow and the formatting gets a bit butchered, sorry about that.

Finn stood at the edge of the pit, unable to move a muscle,
Struggling to draw a breath.
He watched, helplessly as Hannibal held the chains binding Lauren in one hand,
And raised a spear in the other.
With the force and fury of lightning, it stuck between Finn’s ribs, sending him into the sinkhole beneath.
He fell as his world was eclipsed around him, eclipsed in darkness.
   
    Defeat was not an option.

 



Seconds after 10 O’clock pm, right on schedule, the elevator doors closed. Exhausted, listening to the cheery ambiance of the music mock him while the elevator rose, Finn Bennett brushed a loose lock of his wavy, brunette hair away from his forehead. Returning from the 6-9 slavery he called a job, he untucked his shirt and adjusted the waist of his pants. Off hours, he didn’t have to act like he was allowed the decency of professionalism. At 16, Finn was an off-the-grid door-to-door salesman. Every day like clockwork with robotic monotony, up at 5, dressed in a grimy white button up, and khakis that rode uncomfortably high on his ankles. After mental preparation and composition, Finn set out.
After a day in the sun, running between houses, it was time to return home. Although, he could almost appreciate working now. Every bit of money was quickly expended on dodging foster homes or keeping up with rent and repairs. Now he was to come home to Kirsten. The elevator opened. Finn slogged through the corridor, postponing the inevitable. His apartment was “lucky number 7” on the left of the hall. Without much to go on, Finn tried to see a good sign in everything. He slid his key through the scanner, and took a deep breath, opening the door.
The all-too-familiar stench of cigarettes pervaded the room. Other than that, Finn was relieved at the lack of damage. He took one step into the crumbling rat’s nest he called “home”.
*slash*
His shoe touched down into half an inch of water. He stood on his toes, and peered over the sofa, into the kitchen. Under the sink, water was softly flowing from a protruding pipe under the sink. Finn closed the door behind him.
“Oh good, you’re home.” Kirsten’s shrill, bitter voice echoed from the back of the house. “You got a mess to clean up.”
“Kirsten… what happened?” Finn was more shocked than upset.
“Are you going to fix that, or is your sorry ass going to hire someone again?”
“I can barely afford the bills, and these constant repairs are putting us further in debt. The payments are getting out of contr-“
“I DON’T GIVE A GODDAMN WHAT THEY’RE DOING. THAT’S YOUR JOB, NOT MINE.”
Finn hesitated a second longer, turned around and slammed the door behind him.

 

* Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap*
The elevator couldn’t come fast enough. Finn tapped the “down” button as passive aggressively as anyone ever could. *ding* the doors opened. Finn practically fell into the elevator, rushing with a vigor to leave, fatigued with today’s endeavors, and coming down off of what just happened. * Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap- Tap Tap*
The doors lazily closed, unconcerned with Finn. As he lowered into the lobby. He pressed his forearms against the walls and huffed softly. He pushed away from the wall and regained himself. When the elevator opened, he politely greeted a typical suburban family, stepping to the side, letting them by, and hurried through the front door of the complex, and into the streets.

The author's comments:

Shaemus comes back later in the novel, if any of you like him <3

10:04 was a whole new world. The sun had completely set on the now moon-lit streets. Flickering pink and purple neon signs revealed rats, bugs, hookers, and drug deals. Finn continued walking. In the distance he heard engines revving, accompanied by hollering and swearing from a group of voices. He stuck his hands in his pocket and hung his head down.
*thunk-thunk—thunk-thunk—thunk-thunk* heavy, solid footsteps were approaching Finn. He kept his head down. The last thing he needed was attention. “HEY,” the voice cracked like a whip. It made Finn flinch. He was walking on eggshells. “I’m talkin’ to ya!” the silence broke again. The voice was a gruff cross between an Irishman and a pirate. Finn looked up, brushing his hair over his head. A bright orange, slim fit V-neck T-shirt, black skinny jeans. Silver chains and gelled-back, shoulder length hair to match. A little shorter than Finn, swaying as he walked.
“Wh’er ya headin’?” his voice never failed to seemingly split the air as he spoke.
“Nowhere in particular.”
“Ah. Well, why’re ya headed there?”
“No real reason.”
“c’mon, ye got somethin’ to hide?”
“You got me. Quite a bit, actually.”
“well d’en, what is it?” he stopped walking, and held his hand out. ”names Shaemus, by the way.”
Finn shook his hand and quickly jerked away. “Finn. Sorry, sir—“
“Shaemus.”
“Sorry, Shaemus, but I’m between a rock and a hard place right now. I’m not really up for all this. I just got back from working all day to find out my roomie flooded my apartment. Things are hectic, and I just… I want to get away from it all.”
“Seems like yar in a bit of a conundrum, aren’t ya? What if I offered ye a bit of a remedy?”
“No, sir. If you’re offering drugs, I’ll have to decline.”
Shaemus grabbed Finn’s shoulders, and stopped him. “Lad, this ain’t any drugs. It’s an entire world. The Midden. In one hour, head towards downtown,” he, as if automatically, pointed into the distance behind him. “Thar’s a toy store you’re going to want to round-about. I left you a little something-something there. Ye got about an hour, head out.”
“Excuse me, what? You already left something for me there? And why do I have an hour?”
“Ye’ve had it rough, barin. I’m giving you an hour to treat yourself to something, ‘cause you might not be coming back anytime soon.”
“This offer is seeming a little less appealing...”
“Listen, don’t ye want to get away from it all? Trust me, boy. This is once in a lifetime for you.” There was a sharp edge to his voice.
Finn’s eyes drifted lazily around. His head fell back, and he sighed, puffing out his cheeks.
“Alright, I’ll trust you. Nothing left to lose anyways.”
“You will not regret this.” Shaemus digs in his pocket and hands Finn a $100 bill. “Now, go treat yourself to something more… breathable.” Shaemus took Finn’s hand again, turned and walked the other way. Again Finn stood alone in the dark. The clock was ticking.

 

Finn settled on a blue and grey striped hoodie-shirt with a pair of black slim fit jeans.
With over $60 to spare, he bought a pair of black tennis shoes and a bottle of water up at the counter. He barely cracked $90 total.
A giggly woman, mid-forties was at the register.
“What’s someone as young as you out so late?” she chimed.
Finn glanced at a clock on the wall. It was 10:40. He had about 30 minutes left.
“Came across some money in a summer job. Wanted to spend some of it on the way back from a friend’s house.”
“Lucky boy,” she smiled. “Getting a job so early. I wish I had one in my prime, I would have been able to land something a little better than a store clerk.” She scanned his items.
“Yep. Thanks.” He spat. “I’m short on time. Have a nice night.”
He heard a soft “You too.” As he hurried out the door.
He kept his old clothes in a separate store bag, and changed into his new attire in a public restroom. He made his way to the toy store, golden lights, flashy colors and character, with audible merriment, even at this hour. He looked inside. A decorative mockup of Big Ben stood in the center of the store, towering above everything else. It displayed 10:55, still 15 minutes to spare. Finn sat down on a bench in front of the store, relaxing and stretching his legs. Curiosity was telling him to go behind the store and see what Shaemus left for him, but he didn’t want to jinx it. He opened his bottle of water, and watched the clock tick and tock its way towards 11:10.
Finn heard a thump, followed by a few heavy stomps that abruptly stopped.
“That’s my cue”, he looked at Big Ben, just shy of the allotted time. He stood up with his things and walked behind the store. Sitting in the corner was a white JanSport book bag, with a brown paper bag attached to it. He sat down next to it. In the book bag was a thick, furry blanket. Almost akin to a bear pelt. In the brown bag was a roll of twine and a few chocolate bars.
“Gee, thanks.” Finn rolled the brown up and put it in the book bag. Two lines appeared where the walls met the floors, and they began softly glowing. Converging at the vertice of the corner, it too glowed. Finn started to say something, but the walls began to curl inwards, revealing a starry path through an abyss. In the distance was a wooden door in a cobblestone threshold. Finn slowly approached it, walking through space. He knew it wasn’t wise to trust strangers, or even safe for that matter, but he was out of options. He was leaving Kirsten. He was leaving his job. He was leaving his life.
Finn took a deep breath, pushed open the door and entered the world Shaemus called "The Midden".

The author's comments:

This is all i have right now. Ill post more if I type up enough. Lots of imagery and detail. constructive feedback is appreciated!

Leaps and bounds of energy swam through his veins. He lost aches and pains he didn’t know he had. Everything went black, but it was like stars ignited inside of him, his mind felt like rolling ocean waves.
Finn heard a sound like a vacuum cleaner, like a funnel was sucking the air out of his head. He tumbled through a door, onto leaves and dirt. Disoriented, he stood up and surveyed his surroundings. Massive, twisted oak trees coated in a dark chocolate bark. Long, sprawling canopies populated with scarlet leaves and teal flowering blossoms, like a magnolia in early spring. The ground lacked any other distinct foliage but was covered in an enchanting mix of brown leaves and glittering copper flower petals.
         It was late sunset. Golden rays shot diagonally through the top of the trees, and into a low hanging silver fog lingering in the forest. Finn turned around, to the door he fell through. It was an empty cobblestone archway with a wooden plaque hanging in it. It read “The Forest of Deliverance”. A clearing led forward, Finn followed.
         The air was crisp and chilly. The sunlight was radiant and warm, but when Finn was standing in the shadow of a tree, he could ever-so-slightly see his breath roll in front of him. He occasionally looked up as he walked, the stars were starting to show against the darkening sky. Finn peered into the forest, further into the trees, he saw a large bird nesting in the space between forking branches. Bigger than a hawk, with pearlescent contour feathers, and a grey head. It stretched its massive wingspan and let out a screech-- Finn jumped—that echoed for what seemed like minutes. It took to the skies.
         “Wow…” Finn marveled. It has a tail like a peacock that expanded and contracted as it dove and spun in the sky. It screeched again, and as if on cue several dozen other birds of less extravagant composition erupted from the branches. Finn had since stopped walking, watching the sky in awe. As the flock cleared from the skies, he followed his path again. Fireflies illuminated sparingly spaces clusters in the woods. Faint flashes of seafoam or aqua appeared in groups, seemingly dancing in the night.
         The sound of rushing water got louder the longer Finn stayed on the clearing. The trees became less common, and the leafy detritus under his feet started to show lush green grass. He knelt down and ran his hands over it, feeling the individual blades across his palm. It was unbelievably soft. A few yards after the last tree, he saw the slope of a river bank. The riverbank of a golden river. The water swirled frothy silver as it flowed over and around surfaced rocks. The river stretched beyond each horizon, and was easily the width of a football field. He got closer, it radiated a gentle warmth and light. Finn looked around, there was no sight of any sort of means to cross it.
“Ugh. What choice do I have? Here goes nothing.” He muttered to himself.
         He took his book bag by the straps spinning round and round, releasing it towards the river.
*thunk* it landed on the other side of the river.
“Woa-ho-HO-LY S***!  Ha ha!” Finn threw his hands in the air. “That works!” he called into the open, laughing. He backs up a few feet, and gets a running start, in one massive leap, he touched down on the surface of the river. A faint humming accommodated his landing. Beneath his feet was a soupy mixture of navy haze and intricate constellations. Like a cloud of blues and stars. he took one big step back towards the bank and then back to the river, the closer his foot got, the louder the humming until it touched the water. Finn stepped again. And again. And again and again. He ran. He watched the stars aid him at his feet. He laughed and threw his arms into the air, making an eccentric, joyous dash across the river he jumped and spun, closing his eyes and running blindly.
“This is incredible!” he called out. Finn tripped on the bank and tumbled into the grass, giggling with an ecstatic innocence he had yearned after for months. He stood up, unscathed and not winded in the slightest. Behind him, the Forest of Deliverance was basking in the heavenly luminescence of the golden river and the evening sun. In front of him, the ground declined then rose again to either side, a rough mile out. The immense land dip ran in front of him out to the horizon, like a valley in the highlands, rolling fields and small plateaus. On the left side was an ashy grey forest, scintillating with bronze leaves. A smoky fog rose from the tops of the trees, keeping any more than just the outside hidden.
To the right was a small range of mountains. Grey at the base, but more pearly towards the flat top. He could make out rope bridges spanning between the mountainous cliff faces, along with the roofs of buildings that looked vaguely Nordic, with horned tops, steep inclines.
“I’ll pass.” Finn took a few steps towards the mountains.
Back towards the river, he looked at his hands. He focused on the water, imagining moving it in his head, and moved his hand around as if drawing diverting currents. He shrugged. It was now completely dark out. The sky was colored with dazzling auroras, casting yellows and purples and greens over the Midden accentuating the brilliance of countless stars. As the temperature dropped, and Finn started so see his breath cloud more heavily, the river grew warmer. Finn opened up his bag and got out the bearskin blanket.
He ran his fingers through the fur before wrapping himself up and going to sleep.



Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 0 comments.