So close . . . yet so far | Teen Ink

So close . . . yet so far

November 30, 2011
By BadGirl GOLD, Dacula, Georgia
More by this author
BadGirl GOLD, Dacula, Georgia
13 articles 10 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be HATED for who I am
then be LOVED for who I'm not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All I need is for someone to say "I believe in you."


He was so close. Why wasn't he touching me? Why wasn't he looking at me? Why was he so tense by my side? I didn't understand. Was it me? Was I just not enough?
His dirty blond hair looked shiny in the sunlight. I wanted to touch it. To twirl it in between my fingers. My gaze trailed down to his hands. They were so close. He was so close . . . yet so far away. What was this emotion that I felt? Was it disappointment, sadness? I couldn't tell.
Why were his shoulders so tense?I wanted to reach out and touch his hand that was so close to mine.
We were partners in science class. When it had happened I couldn't believe it. We would sit together every day. Someone so beautiful was going to sit next to me?
I reached for my science book and as I did I looked at him from the corner of my eye, so I could see his reaction. Nothing.
Disappointment ran through me. He didn't even flinch. What did this mean?

"Luce," the teacher called me. My head snapped up and I placed my hands in my lap. I didn't know the answer to the question he had asked me. I just shook my head.

"Detention after school," the teacher said followed with a sigh. Detention?

"That's not fair," David said next to me. This was the first time he's spoken in science since we were put together.

"Excuse me David?" The teacher asked in a warning tone. I looked up at David willing him to and to not stand up for me.
If he did it would mean the world to me, but if he did he would also get in trouble. And I didn't want that.
I shook my head at him. But he ignored me just like every other time.
Without even thinking about it, I reached for his hand. An electric shock ran through me. I almost pulled my hand back it was so sudden. I had touched him. I wanted to smile in pleasure. But then I remembered what situation we were in.

"I said its not fair. All she did was not answer your question," David said.
He had stood up for me, at a teacher. I was the happiest girl in the world.

"Detention for both of you after school. And David I gave her detention because she wasn't paying attention," the teacher said, before starting up the class again.
What should I say?

"T-Thank you," I mumbled. David looked down at our hands and he wrapped his fingers around mine.
I felt myself turn scarlet.
He didn't let go of my hand throughout the rest of the class.

David was sitting behind me. We were together again, but this time we were somewhere unpleasant.
Detention.
The place where you have to stay completely silent and do your homework until the teacher lets you out.
Mom was probably worried about me. I've never gotten detention before, so her guessing where I was, was out of the question. I was without a doubt going to get lectured.
I could hear her now, "Detention? You are such a smart girl. You have a wonderful future ahead of you and your wasting it. Don't get detention again, or else."

I sighed heavily, and I felt a hand tape my shoulder lightly. I looked behind me and David smiled then held his hand out under the desk. Unsure I smiled and took his hand under the desk. His fingers were firm and strong as they wrapped around mine. My heartbeat picked up.
He was touching me.

When the teacher finally came in he told us we could go home, but I didn't want to I wanted to stay by his side.

Did David like me? I shook my head as I walked back to my house. Why would he? I was an awkward clumsy girl that wished for things that would never happen. Was he just trying to be nice to me? I mean all he did was stick up for me. I felt my bag vibrate. I took my cell out of my bag and found that I had a new text message.
'Hey do u want 2 hang out?'
Confused I looked at who it was from. David. I almost stopped in my tracks. He wanted to hang out with me? I hurried to text back.
'Sure what do u want to do?'
I waited for him to answer. DING!
'I don't know yet. When do u want to?'
I smiled brightly as I texted back.
'How 'bout this weekend?'
DING!
'Sure, see u then ;)'
OHMYGOD!!! He winked at me! My heart pounded in my chest.
I didn't know if I could wait till this weekend.

-----------TWO DAYS LATER------------

I laid restlessly in my bed. It was Friday night and I was lying in bed. David and I had our date tomorrow afternoon. I didn't know where we were going and I didn't know what we were going to do. I couldn't understand it I was a nerd and he was a hot guy that asked ME out, why?
I wore glasses and I never got invited to cool school parties, I usually stayed home on Friday night and for the rest of the weekend.
I sighed heavily and turned over onto my stomach. My sheets got tangled up around my legs and I tried to push them off, but they wouldn't budge. I groaned and sat up in bed. I pushed them off my legs and jumped out of bed. As I walked to the bathroom I checked my clock. It was 12:01pm. It was officially the day I went on my date with David. I smiled the whole way to the bathroom. As I walked down the hall I noticed how quiet it was. I guess mom and dad were asleep. I pushed open the bathroom door and went straight to the mirror. My long hair was tangled around my shoulders.
I groaned and tried to untangle the mess of my hair.
After about ten minutes I gave up and went back to lay in bed. Hopefully I would be able to fall asleep soon.



*
*
*

I had fallen asleep after a while, but when I opened my eyes the next morning I looked like hell. I sighed and turned on the shower. I still didn't know what time we were meeting, but I was hoping I'd have enough time to get ready. I ran out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. I took my cell phone out of my bag and pulled up mine and David's past text messages.
'Hey what time do u want 2 meet? & where are we going?'
I waited impatiently for him to answer. After waiting a whole minute to answer I began to tap my foot on the ground. DING!
'At 12pm and I'm not telling u where were going.'
I hurried to answer.
'Then how will I know what 2 wear?'
DING!
'Wear something nice, but not a dress.'

I smiled and ran for the shower. I had wasted enough water.

When I got out of the shower I went to my room to pick out my outfit. I must have tried on everything in my closet, and nothing worked. I grumbled as I walked out of my room. Maybe I had something downstairs on a hanger waiting to go upstairs. I did and it was the perfect outfit.
A white sparkly blouse along with a pair of gray skinny jeans.
PERFECT!
I took it off the hanger and ran up the stairs. When I burst into the room I looked at my clock. 11:00am. I hurried to get ready, I still had to do my hair. After I slipped on the pants and shirt I found a little sweater that would look perfect with the outfit I was wearing. I put it on and put on a pair of black knee-high leather boots.
I went to the bathroom to put my hair up in a ponytail. Once I was done I closed the bathroom door so I could look at myself in the full-length mirror.
I smiled and opened the door back open. I walked downstairs and ate a bar. I didn't know if we were going to lunch or not so I needed something in my stomach.
Then I noticed the house was quiet again.

"MOM, DAD!" I called. But no one answered.

HONK, HONK!!!
I smiled. That had to be David.

"Hey," I said as I got in the car. David was sitting there, he had been watching me walk over to the car. I hoped my blush wasn't that noticeable.

"Hi," he answered.

"So are you going to tell me where we're going?"

He smiled. "You'll see when we get there."



*
*
*

David drove for about an hour before he stopped the car. David got out of the car and I was just about to open my door to get out, but David ran around the car and opened it for me. I smiled at him as I walked out. We were in front of a beautiful restaurant.
All of a sudden I felt under dressed. As David walked up to the restaurant I looked at what he was wearing as I followed him. He was wearing blue jeans and a long V-neck gray T-shirt. I felt myself turn scarlet. David held the door open for me and I turned redder as I walked in. A waitress came up to me.

"Table for two?" She asked. I nodded and she led us to a table. David sat across from me and smiled.

"So what looks good?" I asked.

The author's comments:
I wrote this because I want teenagers to think about what they do before they do anything. Think twice.

When we left the restaurant David took me to a little carnival downtown. He had won me a giant stuffed panda bear by playing a game where you had to shoot balloons with a fake gun. I was having a great time and didn’t want it to end. My crush on him was getting stronger and I liked it. The feeling I was feeling was different and happy. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted this day to last for forever.
David dragged me behind the shooting balloon game tent and stared at me, my lips, my hair, everything. Was he going to kiss me? Cause I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted it so much that I think I’d do almost anything to feel his lips on mine. What would it feel like? I was one of those girls’ who still haven’t had their first kiss yet. He was also the first guy that’s taken me out on a date. My first date and my first kiss, all in one night. David moved close to me. Our noses almost touching. I sucked in a breath. My heart exploded when his lips pressed against mine. Electricity roared through me and David pushed me against the tent pole. His kiss was deep and greedy and I smiled against them.
He was kissing me!
This was what I had wished for whenever I walked past him in the halls at school. He was what I wished for, his touch, his lips, him. All of him. I dropped the bear that he had won me and pressed myself against him. I felt his fingers get tangled up in my hair and I put my arms around his neck.
I had seen other couples do this in the mall and at carnivals, now I was one of those girls.
David’s hands ran down my bare shoulders. It wasn’t cold outside so I had taken of my jacket. They slowly ran down my arms. I melted and I could hear my heart beating a million miles an hour. They stopped at my hands that were around his neck then he pined them above my head, against the tent. He broke away and stared down at me. I was panting heavily and it felt like butterflies were flying around in my stomach. He let one of my hands free and took my hair out of it’s ponytail. He was panting too. Could he feel or hear my heartbeat? Could he taste the strawberry lips gloss I had put on before leaving the restaurant? He looked up at me. And in that moment there was nothing I wanted more in the world than for him to kiss me again. He leaned down and kissed my collarbone, I gasped and almost leaned away.

“Hey David?” I breathed.

David moaned a “What?”

“Why did you ask me out?” I asked. Then his teeth were on my earlobe. Where was this going? My eyes widened. Did he ask me out because he thought I was an easy target?
I tried to push him off me, but he pined me against the tent pole tighter. What was he going to do? I was scared. What was going to happen? David looked up at me and I saw a look in his eyes that made me want to scream. David put a hand over my mouth as if he had heard my frightened thoughts.

“Alexandra there’s a hotel a few blocks away,” he said. “You can either choose to come. or I can take you home.”

What? Did I want to? I had just gotten my first kiss and I was on my first date, did I want my first everything all in one night? Had he planned this all along? Had he asked me out because he thought I was an easy target? The questions ran through me head and didn’t stop. But David was impatient. He let go of me and began to walk away.

“Wait where are you going?” I called.

“Home,” he called back. “I don’t hang out with losers.”

That stung, really bad.

“Wait don’t, we’ll go!” I called back desperately. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want to loose him. Even if that meant spending the night with him.

*

*

*

I was pined against the bed with no way out. I couldn’t stop now. I was in my underwear and my bra. My clothes were on the floor next to the bed. David was only wearing pants. He was on top of me, looking down at me. A sly smile was on his face. It was dark but I knew he could see my bright red skin. I gasped as he touched me. His lips trailed up my neck until they reached my lips. I was scared and unsure. What would happen after this? Would he call me? Would he even talk to me. But what he was doing felt so good. I moaned against his lips.
The next thing I knew I wasn’t wearing anything. And neither was he.
I had texted my parents, telling them that I was staying at a friends house. Which was half true, if you thought about it.

-----ONE MONTH LATER———
He hasn’t talked to me since we had ***. And now because of it I’m pregnant. My parents are worried, the baby’s father wont have anything to do with me or the baby. My life has fallen apart and I couldn’t get it back. I couldn’t go back to that one night and tell myself not to go to that hotel with David. And I couldn’t go back to tell myself not to go out with him at all. I probably wouldn’t have listened to myself though. Because I had ignored my judgement when I went to that hotel with him. I regret that night, I regret my crush I had on him, and I regret that decision I made.
Now his child was growing inside me, and he wouldn’t have anything to do with him or her. I was no longer a normal teenager I was going to have to responsible and raise this baby. If it was a girl I’m going to warn her about her father and other guys like him. And if it was a boy I was going to make sure he didn’t turn out like his father.
I was going to work to make sure I raised him/her right.
Even if that meant I had to quite school.

THE END
_____________________________________

Most people make the wrong decision, but you don’t have to be like Alexandra.
A lot of teenagers make Alexandra’s choice and end up pregnant.
They quiet school and their WHOLE lives change.
Some people do ‘it’ and end up okay.
Just remember that its a possibility that you could get pregnant.
Your boyfriend could leave you to raise the the child alone, and you’d be a single mom.

Don’t do drugs, don’t smoke and don’t do ‘it’ without thinking more than once.



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This book has 6 comments.


on May. 5 2014 at 12:36 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

PS you changed her name from Luce to Alexandra.

on May. 5 2014 at 12:31 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

So close... Yet so far: Just so you know in advance, I write my comments while I read so they have a tendency to be awfully long. I love all the questions you kick off with. It gives the story a real teenager-y feel, like impatience and anxiety. I feel like its a bit cheesy when you introduce the title so soon in the story, but that's just my opinion. "'Excuse me David?' The teacher asked in a warning tone. I looked up at David willing him to and to not stand up for me." That last sentence is a bit confusing; you might want to clarify it a little bit. Wow, it's surprising he would hold her hand. Maybe it's a friendship thing? Or maybe he's not as heartless as he seems. Aww. Ch 2 - The mom's comment seemed painfully real. Good job. Run-on sentence near the very end, but other than that, I liked it. Ch 3 - How did she already have his number? That's my only concern for this chapter. I would expand more on their emotions. Right now they both seem a little bit like bricks. The wink was a good idea! Ch 4 - Elaborate more with her nerdiness!! Make your characters seem REAL. It's okay to take up space & time talking about them; you want your reader to be able to write a biography on them by the time they're done reading. Should be 12:01 AM instead of PM. PM would be in the middle of the afternoon. "I had wasted enough water" seemed totally out of place. Ch 5 - Describe her anguish in trying to find the perfect outfit. It always takes teenage girls forever to pick one out, so it should for her too. What kind of bar did she eat? Why did you make David honk at the door? That's a little rude. Also, how did he get her address? That's kind of creepy. Ch 6 - I would suggest adding more gestures when they talk. For example, instead of him just saying "you'll see," say he winked or raised his eyebrows or squeezed her hand. Make the audience's heart wrench! That chapter kind of ended suddenly. Maybe add some transition words to wrap it up nicely. Ch 7 - I love the description for their kiss, perfect. Wow, this is getting... Wow. You asked "did he ask me out because he thought I was an easy target?" twice. That's a little repetitive. Word it a different way. Omg, he doesn't hang out with losers. Nice drama! I like it. Stop using the word "pined." I know you can think of something else. Whoa, wow, she's pregnant. Make it a bigger deal. I know a lot of people get preg nowadays, but for her? A nerdy girl who's never been on a date? It's a big deal. Overall, incredible message. It really shows how some people take advantage of others. Make sure to remember, though, that girls do this to guys too, and sometimes the scars are worse. Anyway, great powerful message. I really enjoyed reading.

on Sep. 23 2013 at 11:03 pm
alwaysreal BRONZE, Harvey, Louisiana
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
Albert Einstein
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
Benjamin Franklin

Wow. I like your book so much. This happened to my mom then i was born now he isn't a part of my life anymore. This also haopened my oldest cousin. The message you are sending to your readers is great. Especially since there is a lot of peer preasure now a-days.

on Apr. 12 2012 at 11:33 pm
nemish23 BRONZE, Sydney, Other
2 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have."

"Today is life. The only life we're sure of. Make the most of today." -CSI:NY

that's a really good book, i love it!

it sends a very strong, clear and relavant message to the teenagers of today. I love stories that do that.

good job! and keep writing! <3


BadGirl GOLD said...
on Dec. 12 2011 at 6:29 pm
BadGirl GOLD, Dacula, Georgia
13 articles 10 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be HATED for who I am
then be LOVED for who I'm not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All I need is for someone to say "I believe in you."

Thanks!!! :D

Your the first person to comment on my stuff. I have more coming in a few days :)


on Dec. 12 2011 at 4:38 pm
i-love-cupcakes, New York, New York
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments
thats a great book i loved it good gob