wanting normal | Teen Ink

wanting normal

January 18, 2016
By nathalyacosta_, Chatham, Other
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nathalyacosta_, Chatham, Other
0 articles 1 photo 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hakuna Matata! 'nolite te bastardes carbonrundum' (don't let the bastards grind you down)


Author's note:

this is my first book ever written, i never finished it because i lost the documents but now i have restarted, i hope you like it.

The author's comments:

enjoy

One| You could say I was royally pissed.

                  Blabbering, that all I heard from the people in front of me, boring and pointless blabbering. The worst part was that I wasn't even going to go to that so called ball, it was not of my liking and to be honest, I didn’t want to have to put a fake show. The amount of times I had done that was endless and I had no intentions of doing it again, it made me feel like the awful person I had become.

No one seemed to understand that, for them it was my duty to do it and my feelings or what I wanted did not matter. Unless, of course, it made our image look good, which for my mother, that was the most important thing.

The worst part was that I was not even needed there; I was there for pure image. My opinion or ideas were not taken to count, which was pretty discouraging if you ask me. I had tried to give an idea for the planning of the ball, you know a little bit of fun not the ancient boring stuff they wanted, they—the planners and my mum—laughed and mocked my idea; they called it uncultured and mundane. I kept my trap shut after that, it had been pretty humiliating.

That little occurrence had happened a week previous, since then I refused to step foot to that room, but my mum did not let me. At nineteen you'd think I would have the reins of my life, to be able to make my own choices, I wasn't. My every movement was watched, my every decision had to be carefully discussed, everything I did had to be exemplar, it was my duty and as I mentioned before, duty before oneself—or at least according to my mum.

I was such a pathetic person; I couldn't even stop my mother to boss me around at nineteen. There in the outside and real world, kids my age were getting jobs and buying their own flats. What was I doing? Being pampered by maids and being completely and utterly useless. What use was to have power if I couldn't wield it?

I glanced at my mother, she sat straight, her hair was up and very well tied, not a hair out of place. She screamed confidence, she screamed strict, she screamed elegance, she was the perfect image of a Queen. She was well groomed, my dad made the right decision by falling in love with her; she was the perfect woman to be at his side. Sadly, I was not her; I was different, way too different. I often wondered if she knew what she bestrewed in me, what she made me into. Her plans were backfiring and she had no knowledge of it.

Having enough of the pointless meeting, I looked at my phone, which had been supposedly shut off. I, being the rebel I was of course didn't do that, it was vital that I had it on so I could contact my escape. At school I had mastered the fine art of texting without looking at the keyboard and thus, that's how I texted my escape, the only person who kept me sake.

 

Victor: what is it?

Me: I need you to save me.

Victor: from what?

Me: middle aged adults boring me to de

Victor: lol, fine, I’ll be there in five.

I knew he wasn't going to dissappoint me. Victor was always there, he never failed me, he was loyal, my only friend. Of course, to my mum we just got along well. If she knew how close we really were she would flip—well, maybe not, but she would not be happy. She was prejudiced woman as well, for a good reason. She lost a lot of people since she went to a higher status; most of them only sought her for her wealth, the opportunities she brought. It marked her, she could detect a lie or a fake person from miles it was a self-defence mechanism she developed.

If she found out, she would think Victor was being my friend for convenience, being from a poor family and all. That's why I kept it secret; we were strictly professional when she was in the room, for the sake of him not getting fired and me not losing the only friend in my life.

Victor was a blessing in my life, without him and his guidance; I would have ended up being depressed and lonely. He was that one person who saved me from falling and I owed him, a lot. After his arrival I was happier, I had someone who understood me, someone who didn't expect big things from me. In short words he was my best friend.

The doors opened, interrupting the planner. She looked slightly irritated but respectfully shut up and looked at Victor, who stood there in his entire god like beauty. He wore simple normal clothes, his hair was mildly messy and he looked sweaty. It only meant he had formulated a plan to get me out of the place and was acting it out, he was an amazing actor.

"Pardon my intrusion, your highness, I have come to retrieve Princess Emily, she is ill and needs rest," he said out loud, looking at me with a pointed look.

I guessed that was my cue to act as If I was dying from a plague or something, thankfully acting was one of the things I was good at. Not as good as Victor, but I was good, enough to fool my mum into letting me go.

My mum looked skeptical, it was not a new look on her, she always looked like that. It was as if she didn't trust anything, or anyone—my dad being the exception—she had major trust issues. So did I, I just gave people opportunities before officially deciding not to trust them.

Her look made me nervous; I really wanted to get out of there. Lana, the chef, had a chocolate cake just for me and I was hungry. A hungry Emily was a moody Emily, no one wanted a moody Emily I tended to be extra bratty and b****y, and I was to be feared that way.

"She looks well to me," My mum said.

I rolled my eyes, she wouldn't notice if I was sick even if it was true. She tended to block anomalies, I looking like s*** was one of those things, I didn't even remember the last time she took care of me when I was sick.

"That's because she is a good actress, she woke up with high fevers this morning." The way he said it, even I was convinced I was sick.

She looked at Victor then at me, she was not convinced still but knowing her she wouldn't want to come across as careless, so she nodded, that simple gesture was enough. It meant she was allowing me to leave, to be free . . . Well, not quite, but it was enough for the day.

Victor came to my side and 'helped' me up, he smiled at the ladies and at mum and then we left. I was barely able to contain my happiness, I owned the guy something. he was always right on time, I made a mental note to get him something.

As soon as we were in the car, I dropped the act and smiled. I took Victor's head and kissed him on the cheeks. Then instructed him to drive away to just take me out of that place. He knew where I wanted to go—we wanted to go, it was a place we both found. It was by the woods of the palace; it had a waterfall and was just beautiful.

Once we got there, I got out of the car and bolted for the waterfall but Victor stopped me.

"Not without the tracker," he said, I looked at him surprised. How had he known?

"How on earth did you know?" I asked go taking the bloody thing from my back pocket and turning it on.

He smiled and ruffled my hair, "I'm the almighty, love."

                                             ○○○

I liked to think, it was weird, but I loved to just sit and think about life, to dig deeper into subjects. Life was such a mysterious thing, there was so much of it that I wanted to explore, so much to know. What was the meaning of life? I liked to think we were on earth for a reason; it disappointed me seeing how we could screw up such a beautiful thing. That's why I was worried I wasn't living, up to that time, my life had been handed to me on silver plate, I was never really independent, someone was always there to help me.

I wanted to be dependent, to learn, to make mistakes. But in the social rank I was, I could not afford that, everything had to be done on a determined deadline. It was crucial for the future Queen of Aestina to be knowledgeable of all regarding the country. My purpose in life had been determined the day I was born.

Victor sat next to me, looking at the waterfall. It was very calming, something about it made you forget your problems. It made me almost believe the legends; apparently the waterfall had magic powers that helped those with good intentions and those of noble blood. Sometimes I did believe it; it did help me.

I looked at Victor; I liked to look at him. He was very handsome; it was not my fault. The guy was blessed, with his lovely smile and those eyes; they stared right at your soul and his brown Hair-I did always had a soft spot for brunettes.

"Vic, are you sure you are gay?" I asked him.

"We already went through this, Em." He answered, "I'm sorry I can't fulfill your sexual fantasies."

I punched him, "they are not sexual. I just think you are too inhumanly handsome."

He laughed, "Well, I mean, I am quite a catch-"

"oh shush."

He was quite the catch, when he first was assigned to be my bodyguard, I was not thrilled. But then I saw him and suddenly it was as if my hormones won over and I was the happiest girl ever. I was convinced this was God repaying for all the hell I had to live and then he confessed he was gay. Of course he did that right after I threw myself at him and tried to seduce him.

It's quite the story, I was a bit drunk and I had serenade him with the classic "I will always love you' then I proceeded to dance in what I thought a sexy way to "I just had sex" and he sort off dropped that bomb after I tried to unbutton his Shirt, it was my way to channel all the feelings I had bottled inside.

He never let me live it down, he loved to remind me of it every time he thought it was convenient.

My relationship with him was the best, he was my best mate. He had been working with us for two years and in that period of time I gave him all my trust, he was my soul mate. I had never met someone who could be so in synch with me, someone who didn't expect much of me he was the reason I wasn't out shaming my families name, he helped me.

"Hey, did you talk to mum about going that break?" I asked, remembering he had told me about wanting a small break to visit his brother.

Suddenly he looked a bit sad. "Yeah, she told me it wasn't possible."

I straighten up, "What why?"

He shrugged, "who is going to protect you?"

I rolled my eyes, "the other hundreds of security she has around? That's hardly an excuse."

She was unbelievable; did she really expect people to overwork themselves? People had families, friends they were not like her who had her priorities in the wrong places. That infuriated me, who the hell did she think she was? Victor had been talking about going to spend a week or two with his brother—the only family he had. I had been all for it, he deserved it.

My mother was going to listen to me because I wasn't going to allow her act like a b**** to the one person who technically risked his life every day for me.

"is mum home yet?" I got up; taking my phone out, ready to text her people to see if she was doing anything important.

He nodded, "she should be, why—no, Emily Kingston, don't you dare."

"I know you hate when I do this kind of things, but you should not submit to that! She can be the ruler of the world and she still has no right."

In that note, I started to run for the palace, it wasn't that far—if I took the secret passage it wasn't. Victor didn't know about it, I knew he was going to try to get there in the car, but the passage was faster. I had the upper hand as the passage led straight to the ballroom, near where my mum usually hung out. He still had to check with security, signed a log book that he had returned.

My mother needed to understand that people were not born to serve her in that way. I understood, she was the Queen and as tradition goes the subjects—well, subject to her but we were not in mediaeval times, you'd think 21st century would mean something to her. She was a control freak, she wanted everything to be according to the 'how to be a good Queen rulebook' her mum left her and it was frustrating. Dad was supposed to be the King, the one ruling and making the decisions she was, but she had manipulated him into not sticking his nose and looking pretty.

As you see I was very conflicted with my mother.

Finally, I got out of the passage, I needed to clean the place there were way too many spider webs. I walked to my mum's office just to find out she was not there, which was weird, she was supposed to be there until dinner. But I didn't really ponder on it; I needed to find her before Victor.

I hurried along the corridor, until I heard people by one of the stairwells, I got closer and sure enough there was my mum with three other people. They were being very secretive, which obviously struck me as suspicious. I got even closer and listened.

"She's just a kid, Amelia." A lady said, she sounded worried.

My mother huffed, "She's eighteen, that's hardly being a kid, it's time she grows up and learn, her sister-"

She had been interrupted by a guy who looked strangely familiar. "Louise had been trained to be the Queen from a very young age, Emily was not. You can't expect her to be Louise."

You go strange man!

That was another issue, she wanted me to be Louise, but I couldn't. My sister was one in a kind, she was perfect. She was everything that was expected from me. I never cared, she was meant for that and I knew she was my mum's favourite and it never bothered me, like I said, she was meant for that life. I loved her, she was always there for me, and she was the only one who understood me –before Victor arrived, of course.

"I don't want her to be Louise, quite frankly, she will never be Louise." I will admit that one hurt. "That's why we have to do this; she will never be fit to rule Aestina. We have to arrange her marriage to someone who is qualified."

I gasped quietly; she was not crazy enough for that. I was not going to let that happen and apparently the people who were with her were not going to let it happen either.

"We ruled that out a long time ago, Queen Amelia, you cannot force your daughter to marry someone else." Lady number two said and I smiled. Thank God for great grandma.

"Then if that can't happen, it's time to bring her to reality. You know what that means Cloe, it's time to stop spoiling the girl, take her out of university, she can't go out without special permission and prepare the schedule we talked about, she will be fit to rule even if it's the last thing I do."

At that moment I was beginning to think an arranged marriage would have been better than that, I was scared. She meant business, something told me that if I thought how I was living was bad then what was to follow was going to be worst. But what really bothered me was that she was taking my freedom away. She was going to take me out of Uni! that was the only bit of freedom I was hoping to have and she was taking it. It was my only chance of living like a normal person. She was truly the spawn of Satan and I was not going to let that happen.

You could say I was royally pissed.



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