We grew up as one great family. At first, we enjoyed playing with the newcomer, little Hannah. But as we grew older, she became annoying, like anyone's little sister.

"Haze, take Hannah trick or treating with you!" called Rita and we both groaned.

"Mom no! I don't want to look after Hannah! " replied Haze.

"Come on, be a good boy! " replied Rita. "I'll bake you your favorite cookies! "

"Why do we always have to take Hannah! " I muttered to Haze while he grabbed Hannah's arm grudgingly. "You better share those cookies with me,"

We were both dressed as superheros: Haze as Spiderman without a mask because his mom feared him suffocating under it and I as Batman. Hannah, however with her glittery fairy wings and Tinkerbell dress spoiled our whole cool vibe.

As we made our way to the first door, Hannah began wailing.

"What's wrong?" growled Haze.

"That pumpkin looks scary!" she replied.

"That's a Jack O'Lantern. They're just carved!" I told her.

"Still! I don't wanna go there!"

We ended up back in the cafe with a few toffees and mints, after avoiding every house with a Jack O'Lantern, which included most of the people giving out sweets.

But when Rita put Hannah back to sleep, she baked us her double chocolate cookies, and we both fell asleep watching through Spiderman cartoons.

After the summer of 1992, we moved from reception into Year 1. We were boys. Young boys, which meant 'fitting in' wasn't a big deal. Everytime the bell rung, we'd run outside and split into two teams to play football. Except the odd two boys who preferred reading, we would all get along well.

The girls were a different story, often fighting and making up. We would get used to seeing three girls sit together at one time and separate into different groups a few weeks later.

When Hannah came into Junior School, we saw her make and break friends. Just like every other girl. But whenever she was upset, she would come at watch out football game and offer to play. Of course we told her to go and find her own friends, judging the fact that she was a girl.

One day, she got up early and took Haze's ball and came to school with it. And that ball was shiny new, with the ball smell fresh on it, hard and ready to be kicked by flimsy school shoes. The school ball was a rotten piece of plastic, half inflated.

So we asked her.

"Hannah, can we play with that? "

"Only if I can join in!"

We groaned, but made our decision.

"Fine!"

And she was surprisingly good for a girl in Year 1 playing against Year 3 boys.

As I grew up, I began to change. I noticed girls and entered a new world. The transition between Primary and Secondary school was another adventure, one that I was successful in.

In Secondary school, there was a huge classing system for the girls. Looks, popularity and money was all included. For us, the boys, it was similar but to a smaller scale. Anyone got along with anyone and there were no b**** fights but the boys who were on top of the league got the better girls.

Haze and I were on top of the league. I had a few meaningless girlfriends, and Haze dated one girl for a while. But there was Jared. The shy and nerdy boy, who ticked every girl's box. Looks? He had a tall frame and deep eyes. Popularity? He usually kept to himself but his best friends were pretty popular. Money? Definitely. His father worked in London and sent tons of cash for him.

He was the lady's man. The one who dated girls above and below him. He was the heartbreak of the town, so when Haze found out his dates with Hannah, he went ballistic.

"Hey, Jared!" he called.

Jared turned around and approached us with a smile.

"Hey,"

"What's up with you and my sister?" Haze asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Hannah's your sister? We're just friends, you know?"

Haze knew that if he got on the bad side of Jared, he would end being hated by a lot of him friends. So he played it safe.

"I want you to know... don't hurt her. You know, she's pretty young and...yeah"

"Yeah I get it," replied Jared and walked off.

"I swear if he hurts Hannah, I'm gonna..."

"Calm down, bro!" I told him. "She won't let a douche like him hurt her,"

Hannah was headstrong. She wasn't a little girl who annoyed us. She was smart. Smart enough to move up a class after getting high grades on her SATs. Smart enough to know that Jared was a player.

Smart enough to dump Jared.

Hannah was a part of my life right from the beginning, but I didn't know the huge impact she would make.

Once ,by chance, Haze felt sick and I had to take her to a show in London, being the only one apart from him who visited London before and knew the way around the streets.

On the train journey she asked me all sorts of questions.

"Josh... do you have a girlfriend? "

Hannah was not the timid type. If she wanted something, she would get it, no matter what stood in her way.

"Nope, " I replied. "What about you?"

"I'm not gay! I don't have a girlfriend, " she replied playfully.

"You know what I mean,"

"Jared was my first and only date, "

"Right. Why did you dump him anyway?" I asleep her.

"Why do you think? He's a nasty player, he deserved it!"

I suddenly realized her sneakiness. "You mean you went out with him just to dump him?"

She smirked. "You got me,"

"That's...awesome! " I replied high-fiving her.

We exited the train and walked onto the crowded streets of London. It was not something we were used to, as country kids, but it was amazing. Everything so organized, people walking down minding their own business, chatting into phones. The sun had set, but the darkness was overcome with beautiful city lights of different shades of yellow. The lights reflected on the Thames,as we walked past it and made our way to the Theater.

It was cold, a bitter night, but my jacket and gloves kept me warm. Hannah, however didn't have anything on her hands, which were shaking, so I took hold of them.

"You're cold," I said and looked at her to see that she was staring at me in wonder.

"What?" I asked her.

She shook her head. "It's nothing, "

"Tell me!" I asked.

"I was surprised when you held my hand, that's all,"

Just before we caught a bus, we passed a school like building, which caught Hannah's attention.

"That's it," she said. "Sylvia Young Theater School. Everyone who's in here makes it to even a tiny role in the West End. And the best ones star in Broadway,"

"You wanna go here?" I ask her, noticing the light in her eyes when she spoke about this.

"That would be amazing," she muttered.

"I know you're into a lot of those Musicals and shows, but I didn't know you sang." The fact that Hannah had a dream that was set on a stage was news to me. She was never the lead in the school shows. Never joined the choir. Never sang.

"Only dad knows I sing. He thinks that I can make it and you know what? Even if I'm on that stage for a fraction of a second, that will be my dream come true. "

"Wow, you really know where you're headed," I told her, feeling self conscious about m future.

"What about you? Haze told me you're taking Computing and Media for your A-Levels. So what are you going to do?" she asked.

The truth was that I didn't know. I wasn't terrible at everything. It was quite the opposite. I was good at everything. Literally. Academics, sport, cooking. But I wasn't amazing at one thing like everyone else. Just good.

"I don't know. I just wanna get out of Pineham, you know?"

Our town was the small countryside kind where everyone was in everyone's business. People became used to that sort of lifestyle as they grew and couldn't handle leaving. But I wanted the city, the lights and the cars.

"Yeah, I understand, " said Hannah, getting into the bus. "I just love this place! It's amazing! "

"Yeah it's pretty cool," I replied, glancing outside at the Thames, where the lights of the London Eye and building around it reflected on the river

"OK, promise me one thing?" she asked.

I looked at her smiling face with full cheeks and dark eyes, and felt adoration. She was a friend, always there for me and I knew that I'd love her as much as Haze.

"Yeah? " I asked, already promising myself to protect her from players like Jared.

"If we both make it out of Pineham and into London, we'll Still be friends,"

"Yeah, I promise, " I smiled.

Finally, the bus stopped in front of the huge billboard advertising the show of Anything Goes.

"Why did you pick Anything Goes?" I asked her.

"Because of Sally Ann Triplett is the lead!" she said excitedly.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Eurovision star. She sings amazingly! "

"If you say so," I shrugged.

The musical was about a man in love with a girl who was engaged to a lord. It was funny at first, but after a while I grew tired of the singing and dancing. But Hannah was clearly enjoying herself and I decided that West End dreams weren't for me.

When it was over, she grabbed my arm and began to tell me how great it was.

"Oh my God! She's amazing! Wasn't that awesome? "

We walked out of the Theater and into the dark streets.

I shrugged. "It's not my cup of tea,"

She raised her eyebrows. "Seriously? That was great, I'm telling you! I want to be up there one day,"

Despite the fact that I had never heard her sing, I knew that if she was as determined as she was now, she would definitely make it big.

"You will. You're great, greater than that Sally Ann woman. You'll be better than her, "

She was quiet for a while.

"Josh. That meant a lot to me," she said.

I smiled back at her, slightly uncomfortable at how serious she was, but also glad that she liked what I said.

And then came the shock.

"I like you, Josh. More than a friend. I always did, "

It was a blow, something overwhelming which came with mixed feelings.

I was flattered that someone like her who had dreams of becoming a star liked me.

But she was my best friend's sister. I couldn't imagine kissing her or loving her more than a sister.

That was what I knew. That I couldn't love her. What I felt was different. What I felt was forbidden.

"Hannah, you're like a sister to me. I like you, but I wouldn't go out with you-"

"It's fine." she said, coldly. "I get it,"

On the train ride home, we barely shared any words.

She was mad at me. She wouldn't talk to me unless it was important. She stopped playing football and avoided coming swimming with us.

And I missed her. She may have been annoying, but I could feel the difference without her little remarks and teasing.

A month after that trip, when the snow began to melt and winter began to fade into chirping birds and small flowers, Jared invited the whole class to a party. It was his sixteenth, and it was wild.

"Here," said Jared pressing a drink into my hand.

"What is it?"

"Beer," he said. I hesitated at first. I had only tried beer once before from Haze's dad's mini fridge and it wasn't pleasant. The smell was revolting and we chucked the can away after one sip. But Jared was watching and waiting, so I gulped the can down.

"Hey, I want you to meet some people," he said, with a smile. He lead me to the front lawn, with unfamiliar people.

"They're from Gennady," Gennady was a school nearby, which was a lot bigger than our local school. And the students there were more experienced in partying, drinking and other stuff.

"Wassup, man?" asked an older an with a hint of a beard.

"S'all good. This is Josh, Josh, that's James,"

I nodded at him and soon they were talking about something I wasn't part of. Haze was somewhere in the party with a girl he liked, and I didn't want to interrupt him making any progress. Suddenly I wanted Hannah there, making fun of some of the girls' dresses or overly done makeup.

"Hey," I heard someone. I turned to see a beautiful girl. She was the kind you would see on hair adverts, the kind that barely wear much makeup but looked stunning. All my thoughts of Hannah were replaced by this girl.

"Hey," I smirked back. "I'm Josh,"

"Tracey, " she smiled. "So how do you know Jared?"

I shrugged. "Classmates. You?"

"I dated him a few months back,"

I couldn't imagine her dating Jared and then being dumped by him. She just wasn't the type to let someone play her.

"Did you dump him?"

"How did you guess?" she smiled back. And soon, Tracey became my girlfriend.

Tracey wasn't my first ever girlfriend, but she was my first ever serious girlfriend. Although she went to another school, her house was still close to my home so we met up a lot. And she was great.

"When are you meeting my friends?" she asked, her hand in mine. I was about to introduce her to Haze.

"Soon, I guess."

"Maybe next week? And what's Haze like?"

"He's great. We've known each other for a while so..."

She laughed. "You're so cute! You're like a girl, you know that?"

She always called me cute, which I always doubted. Shouldn't she call me hot or sexy? But she seemed to like the fact that I was cute. It was different to her compared to other boys.

"Sometimes I can't believe you're still a virgin," she grinned sneakily.

"I told you not to ever mention that!"

I was sure that most of the boys in my class were still virgins, which was expected in a small town like ours. Only those with serious girlfriends did have sex and everyone expected those couples to get married sooner or later. But Tracey was almost like an alien. She was from a larger village, and went to the notorious school in our area, where most people lose their virginity before leaving school.

Sometimes we did get close to a point where we took our shirts off, but I was brought up believing that my first time would be with the girl I would end up marrying and for some reason I had high doubts about Tracey being the one.

We reached Haze's cafe and Hannah saw us before going back into the kitchen. She was still annoyed at me, but I barely thought about it. Haze made his way towards us.

"Hey! Is this Tracey? " he asked, his eyes widening slightly. I did tell him that she was hot, but he didn't expect it to that level, especially in this town.

"Yeah. Tracey, this is Haze, " I told her.

She smiled warmly at him and squeezed my hand slightly.

"So, do you own this cafe?" she asked, and soon we were all making conversation.

Hannah came out eventually, to serve people and made her way to us.

"You guys want anything? " she asked, eyeing Tracey. I felt guilty about Tracey having to meet Hannah, but I knew she'd cope.

"I'll just have water, thanks, " said Tracey. I asked Hannah for a coke, avoiding her questioning gaze.

"This is my sister, Hannah, by the way," said Haze.

"Hey, I'm Tracey," replied Tracey with her perfect smile.

"She's Josh's girlfriend, " said Haze and the disappointment was clear on Hannah's face. And I wasn't the only one to notice.

"Does she have a crush on you or something? " asked Tracey.

I shrugged.

"Poor girl. How old's she? Thirteen, fourteen?"

"Fifteen," I replied.

"Yeah, well you've got me. "she said, before landing her lips on mine. The kiss felt uncomfortable under everyone's stares, and when I broke free, I felt a heavy pang in my chest when I saw Hannah turn away quickly.

No one was expecting it. In a town like ours, most of us lived for a long time. So no one expected the crash.

It came in the middle of summer. I was still with Tracey, and Haze had a girlfriend named Marley. Hannah still wasn't on good terms with me. She was full of determination, which also came with a stubborn side.

It was during an ordinary barbeque party, whilst we were waiting for Haze's dad to return from the bank after asking for a loan to expand the cafe.

We waited for his call, which camr with exciting news: the bank had granted the loan. We were all waiting for him to return. Waiting. Just waiting.

The blue sky became orange, then red, then finally dark blue with twinkling white lights.

And Haze's mom's phone rang. She fumbled with it, her fingers shaking with doubt as she answered it. Everyone quietened, listening. We all had a hunch. We all knew, but refused time believe.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm Rita. His wife, yeah,"

"No...I'll be there,"

The looked at us and our doubts became the truth.

"He crashed on the M40, " she whispered.

It was my mother who sprang to action.

"Haze, Hannah, you guys stay at my place. Rita, I'll drive you to the hospital. Everyone else can go home now,"

Tracey gave my hand a sqeeze.

"I guess I'll head home now. You'll be alright, won't you?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It's probably nothing, "

But it wasn't nothing...