Sorrow | Teen Ink


February 26, 2011
By Amir101, West Des Moines, Iowa
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Amir101, West Des Moines, Iowa
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Author's note: The book makes you realize that you always need to find hope and to never give up.

“Alison, come down stairs,” Mom called out.
“Coming,” I yelled. I was only in my room packing my backpack for school.
“What is it I said.”
“Well, your Dad and I were thinking and…. were moving to Illinois!”
“What!?” I said strangely.
“Oh are you not okay with it?” Dad asked.
“No I’m fine,” I told him.
“When?” I asked.
“In two days, so Friday,” said mom.
“And your grandparents live there.”

Then I walked upstairs in grief. I cant believe it I told myself. This sucks. I know your sad too Teddy. Teddy is my stuffed animal bear. I got him when I was little. My mom gave it to me for my birthday. Alright time to get to school.

School is nice. I don’t get picked on like most people, and I have a great best friend, Jenna Greene. We’ve known each other for a long time, since we were babies. It’s going to be hard to tell her though.

The bus arrives at school. I feel nervous about telling Jenna.

“See yah later Alison,” Bill said.
“You too Bill,” I said. Bill is my bus driver. I’ve known him for a long time, since kindergarten. As I got off, I see Jenna waiting for me.
“Alison, Alison!” Jenna yelled.
“What is it?” I asked.

“Well my parents told me last night, were going to HAWAII!” said Jenna. My jaw dropped as low as it could.
“Hawaii, nice,” I said. But it wasn’t an excited feeling.

“Yah it’s gonna be great!” said Jenna.
“When?” I asked.
“Tomorrow.” she said. That meant Jenna and I had only one day to hang out.”
“Oh, cool,” I said
“Come on, lets get into school,” said Jenna.

School was very crowded. Every one was at my class door. They were chanting Mrs. Johnson.

Mrs. Johnson is a teacher at our school. She’s at least 57 years old.

“What’s going on,” I asked Devin, a kid I knew?
“Mrs. Johnson is getting transferred to Hartford!”
“Hartford, wow!” I said. Jenna was shocked too. “I guess it does pay to not retire.”
“Tell me about it,” said Devin.

About an hour later I went up to Mrs. Johnson, who looked really excited.
“Mrs. Johnson?” I asked.
“Yes Alison” she said.
“I have to tell you something.”
“Well of course dear.”
“Umm my parents told me this morning that were moving somewhere.” I said.
“Really?” she asked. I nodded yes. “Wow.” She looked like I did when I heard the news. “Do you mind if I tell the class?” She asked. “Nope,” I said. But I really did mind, especially of Jenna.

“Class, stop what your doing and listen up front,” yelled Mrs. Johnson. Everyone started to look at me because I was at the front.
“I have an announcement to make, well not me Alison does,” she said. Mrs. Johnson waved her hands as a signal for me to say it.
“Well umm,……………. I’m moving!” I bellowed. Everyone looked shocked but the biggest one was Jenna’s. She must feel terrible.

“Were all going to miss Alison, right,” Mrs. Johnson said.
“Yes,” the class said.

Bing…. Bing….Bing….Bing. The bell sounded like an earth quake to my ear. I rushed to Jenna.
“Jenna!” I yelled. She looked like she didn’t want to talk to me.

At lunch I sat at a table with some friends, waiting for Jenna. I saw her standing by the cats-up aisle. I waved my hands at her trying to get her attention. She looked over at me and went to sit at a different table.

“Why is she ignoring me?” I spoke to myself.
“What?” said Brenda, a girl at my table.
“Nothing.” I told back.

As school ended, I felt something inside of me gone, like I was useless. I was waiting for Jenna by the door at school, so we could walk together. Jenna didn’t come. I texted her saying “Where r u ?” she didn’t reply back. As I got home I ran to my room. I took Teddy and hugged him tightly.
“You’re my best friend Teddy, always,” I told him. I went outside on my swing set.
“Pretty boring by yourself,” I said. “I don’t know how I’m going to live somewhere else,” I told Teddy, “I just don’t know.”

I woke up in the morning really tired. I couldn’t sleep at all. After what happened to Jenna, I couldn’t move away. I would just stay home and be like the kid in Home Alone the movie. My mom stepped into my room.
“Hurry up honey.” she said
“I will ,I will,” I told her. It was five in the morning, I usually woke up at 7:30.

As I came outside to the car, I put my stuff in the back seat.
“We ready?” my dad asked.
“Yup,” said mom.

When we were driving, I looked through my bag.
“Mom!” I yelled.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Teddies gone,” I almost started to cry.
“Well honey we cant drive back five miles for it,” she said. “Maybe its in the moving truck?”
I knew where Teddy was, he was on the porch alone. Then I did start to cry. I mean Teddy was the only best friend I had, and all of that is gone. I took out a journal that my mom got for me, I wrote.

My life is ruined. Teddies gone, and he was my only best friend. How could this happen to me. I mean, you never now what might happen in life.

I awoke to loud sirens and a voice I’ve never heard before. Every thing was blurry. “Hello, can you hear me,” Something like a mans voice called to me. “What?” I said, very confused.
“Honey can you hear me?”
“Yes,” I answered. “Where am I?”
“It’s okay sweetie every things going to be allriggggghhhhhttttt………”
Blank. Everything went black again, and I was in my own world.

I awoke at last, in bright day light. I looked around to find my self in a hospital room. A couple minutes later, a doctor came in, along with my dad and a nurse. “Alison?” Dr. Smith asked. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” I replied. “What happened?” He looked over to my dad as if he was to say something. “Uh honey while I was driving I was talking to mommy. You were sleeping in the back. A deer jumped in front of the road, and I swerved into a ditch. I awoke to police sirens and when I looked over, he began to get teary. Mom was gone.” Then he did begin to cry. And at that moment I felt the whole earth fall on me. Knowing that my mom had past away was heartbreaking. I didn’t know how I would live life now. First moving away, then this. I was ready for life to end at this point.

My head was against the window of the car, peering out and looking at the houses of Illinois. How in the world was I going to live. Everything is crushed. Period. I could see we where driving up to my grandparents drive way. They were waiting outside the door. Just for us. I could see grandma crying, along with grandpa. As I opened the door, I rushed toward them. Once I got to them, I started to cry. We hugged each other like a family should do. Dad came behind me and looked at us, as if to go inside. I think that was a better idea. Grandma went to open a cabinet. As I looked in, I could see a ton of albums of pictures. She took one out that had Stacie written at the top. That was my moms name. As we went through the album, a picture caught my eye. I t looked like mom and dad at a party.
“Is that mom and dad?” I asked.
“You betcha,” said grandma.
“That’s me and mom when we were in our senior year. Wasn’t she beautiful?”
“Of course she is,” I answered. “Where do you think I got my good looks?”
We all cracked up to my joke, and even when we looked at the embarrassing pictures. Ha-ha. I guess something bad like this can still have a bright side.

As I awoke to my alarm clock, I could see it said 6:00 a.m. Since mom isn’t here, she cant take me to school. I really miss that. Dad has work now right before I leave the bus, right at seven. I wonder what people will think of me. As I walked down the stairs, I saw dad in the bathroom trying too make his tie.
“Ha-ha, looking good,” I smiled. “Need help?”
“Yes, thank you sweetie.”
By the time I was finished, it was 6:15. I went to take a shower. When I got done I ate breakfast. Then brushed my teeth. By the time I knew it, it was already 6:45. I went upstairs to get dressed, and packed my things. Right when I got down dad was about to leave.
“Bye sweetie,” he yelled.
“Bye dad,” I called back to him.

It was time for the bus to come. Then I heard some chattering. Two girls were walking to the stop.
“Here’s my chance,” I murmured. Well I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. They just walked by like I was invisible. Finally the bus came.
“Hello lady, you must be Alison, my name is Larry. Hop on!”
“Hi,” I quietly said.
As I walked in, most of the seats were full. In the way back there was an empty seat. It was a one person seat. So I didn’t mind sitting there, I mean who’s going to sit by me? I heard laughter.
“Hey you!” Said a ugly pimpled face girl. She looked really mean.
“What?” I asked.
“I guess you’re a loser, did you read the sign?”
I looked above me and saw a sign saying:


I suddenly realized why no one sat here. I was blushing like crazy. That was so mean what she did. I took out my I-pod. I started to listen to a song about hope. I hope it would cheer me up.

The bus came to a break. My head pounded against the seat in front of me.
“Ouch,” I yelled.
“Hey loser girl, why don’t you stay in that seat, it’s where your supposed to be!” said the ugly girl.

I was aggravated! How could someone be so cruel to someone if they don’t even know them.

“Maybe you should sit down,” I quietly spoke.

“What did you say?” she asked.

“Nothing” I quickly responded.
“Hey Alison,” called out Larry.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Nice job on not causing a fight. I like that about you.”
“Thanks Larry.”
“Have a nice day”, he called.

I arrived at my first class. It looked like the teacher was waiting for me.
“Hello, Alison?” she asked
“Yes,” I answered.
“My name is Mrs. Cunningham. I am your teacher.”
“Oh cool,” I said.
“If you need any help just come ask me. I’m sure I’ll be able to assist.”

It was lunch time. Except, I didn’t know where to sit. I saw a group girls, so I came over and asked to sit..
“Can I sit here?” I asked.
“Sorry, this is saved for someone.”
“Oh, ok,” I said sadly.
“There she is!” yelled the girl.
I saw it with my eyes. It was the mean ugly pimpled girl. I rushed to a different place. “Hey Joanne!” said the girl. So her name was Joanne.
“Scootch your tray over!” She screamed! They all smirked. I guess they don’t like her, they were forced to like her.

I was so excited to get home, I was finally going to spend time with the person I love most, my dad. He was Waiting for me. I rushed and hugged him like never before.
“Hey Dad!” I said.
“Hey sweetie, how was school?” he asked.
I scratched my head.
“Rough huh, don’t worry sweet heart it will get better.”
I hoped so, or else my life will be horrible.
“I don’t want you to start feeling bad or anything but umm, your mothers funeral is on Saturday.”
My world fell apart. I hadn’t really thought about it that much lately.
“I’m going to bed,” I called out to him.
“Okay sweetie good night.”

While in my room I thought about my life. I thought about how I missed my mom, and Teddy. I just hope Teddy is in a good place right now. I know my mom is. I took my journal out and wrote.

When life is hard, always look on the bright side. Never give up your hope on anything. Even if the dream wont come true, have hope. When someone tells you rude things, get up, and stay up. Because you will Never Say Never.

This day will be one of the most hardest days I will ever have to deal with. My mothers funeral. As I approach downstairs ready to go, I see my grandparents and my dad waiting for me.
“You guys ready,” said my grandpa.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I answered.
There was a silence.
“Lets go,” my dad spoke.
The car was quiet. There was nothing much to say. The funeral is private. Just us there. I hope everything will go well. We arrived at Woodland Cemetery. Their weren’t many people their, only some joggers and bikers, and a couple of families mourning for their loved ones. I saw the grave where my mother would be.
“Everyone okay,” asked my dad.
“Yes,” we all answered, but I knew we were a little heart broken.
My dad and grandpa started to pull the coffin down. Into the dark hole. It was sickening for me to watch my mother go. They both put the dirt back over until it was covered.

Everyone went one by one saying their goodbyes and loves. Everyone went, it was my turn.
“Hi mom,” I said quietly. I’ve missed you a lot. I want you to know that I love you until the world ends, and not even this will tear us apart. The family is doing good. I cant describe how I’ve felt. I know it would hurt you if I told you my life was bad because of it. School’s not doing so well, people don’t like me, I mean they don’t even know me. Well I just wanted to tell you that I’m strong about this. I know your in a good place right now. I love you deeply and ummm uhhhh I cant cry mom. I know I cant. I have to be strong. Mom, I have a really big favor. Can you make sure Teddy is okay, and that someone new will cuddle with him and cherish him forever. Thanks mom, I appreciate everything that you have done for me in my life. I love you until I die. Bye mom.” I rushed back to the car where the were sitting. Silent again.
“Lets go home,” I spoke.
Two Weeks Later………………..

It’s 6:00 p.m right now. I’m pretty tired, Dad hasn’t came home yet, which worries me a lot. He was supposed to come at 4:00 today. Dring Dring, Dring Dring. It was the phone. I answered.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hi Alison, it’s grandma.”
“Hey grandma!” I said excitedly.
“Uh sweetie, I have some horrible news.”
“What is it?” I asked worriedly.
“It’s about your father, he was at the bar tonight, he got drunk and…. he ran into another person. The person died.” She said sadly.
My jaw dropped straight down. I couldn’t believe it. Why has all of this happened to me. Everything was fine until the move.
“What’s going to happen dad?” I asked nervously.
“I’m sorry sweetie, he’s going to prison for fifty-years,”
At that moment, I dropped the phone. Everything is destroyed in my life. It feels like the whole universe has fallen on me. I couldn’t take it any more, I kept asking my self why me, why me? With my back against the wall, I closed my eyes. I was asleep.

I woke up to voices. It was grandma and grandpa. Then I saw their faces.
“Grandma, grandpa, is that you?” I asked.
“Yes sweetie, it’s us, don’t worry were here. They took me to their car. I was still a little shaken from what happened.
“Grandma, what’s going to happen to me?”
“Sweet heart, don’t worry. We’ll take care of you until your old enough to live on your own,” she calmly told me.
“You’ll be okay sweet heart,” my grandpa whispered to me. I was glad I was in his arms, at least I knew someone cares about me.

Three Years Later……..

It’s been three years since my mothers death. It feels like yesterday. I’m not that shaken up about it. I mean I really miss my parents deeply. I don’t get to see my dad often, he’s still in prison. I miss both of them a lot.
“Alison!” called out my grandma, “Come down sweet heart.”
I rushed down as fast as I could down the stairs.
“What is it?” I yelled.
“So your eighteen years old now, and you’re a grown woman, I mean you’re an adult. So it’s time for you to start your life in a better way,” she excitedly told me.
“Your telling me I’m going to live my life and start a career,” I asked.
“Of course, you deserve it!” yelled grandpa. We all hugged and kissed cause it was a celebration of me. But the only thing missing was my parents.
“Lets start packin!” I cheered.

It came down to the last shirt and the final pair of socks. I was ready to go.
“Alison, before you go, I want to tell you that I love you more than the world. I also want you to have this.” Right there she pulled out the album of my parents.
“I don’t ever want you to forget them, I want you to remember them. You might want to open it up.” she smiled.
I saw the most beautiful necklace I’ve ever seen.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“It belonged to me. It was a gift from John.”
“Grandpa gave you this!. I cant take it grandma.”
“Alison, I want you to have it so you don’t forget us.”
She and I both gave each other hugs. It was time for me to go. I got in my car, said the final words to my grandparents. It was time for me to go home.

I was driving down to Kansas again. Its been three years. A part of me was excited, and another part was sad. It’s only me who’s going to Kansas, not my family. I was driving up to the accident three years ago. I have to be strong, I told my self, I have to be. I drove past without crying or getting teary. It was still pretty hard though. The next stop I was the one I’ve been cherishing the most, my old home.

I pulled up on Ashworth Road. I saw it, a beautiful house. I was glad to see it wasn’t empty. The door came open, a mother with a daughter came out. I was focused on the little girl next to her. She looked around five or six years old. Then I saw him. Teddy! I could tell it was him because of the stitching on his head. It was him alright. Then I looked up in the sky and told my mom. Thank you for keeping him safe mom, I love you.

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