It was a Thursday morning and I had to get ready to go to school. I took a

 shower, did my make-up and changed by the time i was done it was already 7:00. I heard my mom yelling from downstairs “Natalie hurry up or ur going to walk it to school!”. I tried to hurry but by the time I went outside to check if they were still there… they weren’t. I just sighed because they do this every time they never wait for me, they always take my sister and brother but not me. I checked the time and I was already running late. I technically runned it to school. Once I got there the bell had already rang. I was late. I went to my first period class, it was ELA my teacher was mad

“You’re late once again?! I’m going to have to call your parents!” said my teacher, Ms.H

“I’m sorry please don’t call them please” i was begging 

“Fine, but only this one time next time you're late I'll call your parents and send you to the principal's office, ok?” 

“Yes Ms.H”aaaaa

I went to my seat, I mean I get why she would call my parents, I’m surprised she hasn’t i’ve always been late to her class.  But if my parents find out I'm dead they’ll get pissed at me. I just tried not to think of it and went with my friends Nat and Emily. They were talking about hanging out tomorrow, Friday. 

“Yeah so that’s the plan for tomorrow” said Nat 

“What’s tomorrow you guys?”

“We are planning to hang out tomorrow, wanna join?”

“Oh uh i’ll ask”

“Ok” said Emily 

With that the teacher started speaking and the class had begun. Honestly I wasn't really paying attention. I was spacing out most of the time but eventually Ms.H had noticed I saw her giving me a concerned look, I just brushed it off. I didn't think much of it. Then nutrition came. I just went to the restroom because I didn't feel like going downstairs to the lunch tables.  

   ***

It was almost the end of the day , I was in my last period class of the day. Soon I packed up because the bell was about to ring. After the bell rang I left and I called my parents if they could pick me up “No we can’t just walk it home”. I sighed and started walking home. Once i got there everyone was home my parents and siblings

“I thought you guys weren’t home?”

“Yes we were already here when you called” said my mom

“Then why couldn’t you guys pick me up”

We just thought..you could use the exercise you’ve…gained some weight, you look fat”

After that i didn’t want to ask if i could hangout with my friends tomorrow because i already knew what the answer was gonna be, no. I wasn’t really shocked when she said that I didn't say anything, I was already used to it. This happens everyday so I just  went straight to my room. I heard all the laughter coming from them in the kitchen. For the rest of the day I did my homework and slept for the whole day. I didn’t eat because I didn’t feel like seeing them again.

It was the next morning, i took a shower before going to school, I didn't eat breakfast or anything, i got my backpack and left. As I was walking to school I saw a dead cat. It was an orangy, reddish cat. For some reason it looked familiar but I didn't own or know a cat like that, or so I thought. I just brushed it off and kept walking. Once I got to school I went straight to my class. To my surprise I wasn't late, I was actually on time. 

At lunch I spent the time in the bathroom because Nat and Emily weren’t here. After lunch I started walking to class, in the hallway I saw sabrina. She is an old friend we stopped talking tho. She said “ hey how u been?” and all i said was “good” then i left. After I left I regretted not keeping up the conversation. She was really nice I don't know about now but she’s also popular so because of that I kinda stopped talking to her.

It was the end of the school day and I started walking home immediately. I saw my parents car on the way and my sister, Stephanie, she started making fun of me and making weird sounds. Although i wanted to say something i just stayed quiet i didn’t want any problem with them anymore. All I want is a nice happy family, a family that will treat me nicely. I know my parents aren’t good ones but I'm grateful that I even have any. As for my siblings they are..umm.. very spoiled and the worst. Aside from that they make fun of me on a daily basis. They said “teasing you makes our day so much better” That has always stuck in my mind since they said that.

                                                              ***

A few days passed and it was the same thing over and over again, going to school, home, doing homework, and after that I went to sleep. Honestly sometimes I feel like I have no life. I see people going traveling or at least going out to eat with their friends or family. But I can’t even do that, especially not with my family. The way the act with me compared to siblings they treat me like sh*t, it used to not bother me but now it is. I can’t seem to understand what I did to them to make them hate me this much. I have done everything they ask of me. I’ve been asking my parents if I could go out with them but they keep saying “No!” “Just be quiet.” or dodging the question. To be honest sometimes I feel like I embarrass them…maybe it’s the way I look or act or they just don’t want me.

On Sunday I woke up late at 10:00am. My mom came bursting into my room and started yelling. 

“Why aren't you up yet!?” “breakfast should be on the table by now that was your only job this morning!”

“Yea besides all the other things.” I said in a low voice. I was still half asleep.

“ don’t talk back to me or you’ll regret it soon and you know it”

After she said that, I got scared. I sighed and said  “I'm going” and started walking downstairs. The reason I was scared was because the last time I talked back to them they started hitting me,they  threw stuff at me, and my dad pressed his cigarette on my arm, not only that but they also said so many things about how i look and about my body. I remember they said “you dont belong with this family” “ i wish i never gave birth to that thing” and “ you are useless i wish you were dead we’d be better off then.” 

Those words always stick with me and I feel other people see me the same. I   feel lonely  and as if i don’t belong, sometimes i feel like my friends don’t even like me that they just feel sorry. I don't know but I have this empty feeling like if i don’t feel sadness, anger, nor happiness…. I don't feel anything. It's all empty and hollow. 

They hate me, they all hate me for what, what have I done to them? A few weeks past and I felt like they were acting weird. They weren't being..mean they were being..nice for some reason. They took me out and they were not yell at me either, it actually felt nice i mean for once they were talking to me nicely like we are actually a nice good family. Although i know they were planning something out because they just started to act nice out of nowhere, right now I’ma enjoy this because I feel part of the family. After feeling alone for a long time it's  nice finally feel like someone actually want to spend time with me. I was really happy from all that playing with them, eating together, going shopping, although they only bought me stuff that my sister wanted, but i didn’t complain because they were buying me something and that's all that matters to me.; But all that didn’t last for long because I caught my mom pouring something in the food.

I saw her pouring some white stuff in it. She poured it in sauce and mixed it together. At first I thought that it was just like salt. But then after she saw me, she jumped and threw it away and laughed very nervously so at that moment I knew that it was salt. Dad called me down to eat. I didn't want to but I know that I had to if not things would have gone way worse . So I went downstairs and my mom gave me a stare I would never forget, a stare of death. All the trauma came back to me. I felt numb like I couldn't move and i was genuinely scared for my life. As I was going to sit down my brother patted the seat next to him signaling to sit next to him. I went to sit down and my dad said

 “how was today natalie” 

“It was…pretty good.” 

“That's good to hear my sweet angel!” my mom said ina weirdly happy voice

I started eating and I didn't feel anything so I thought maybe I was wrong about m=what my mom had put in the sauce. But after a while I started to feel a little dizzy. I drank some water but that made it worse. I got up to go to the restroom  and I fell to the floor. I saw them all look at me. They all came up and stared at me. They didn’t help me or ask anything. I saw my dad grab a glass and he started walking towards me so i started backing away, all i felt was something hit my head. They started hitting me. I was scared and crying.

“STOP PlEASE!!”

All I heard was laughing. I was slowly losing my vision. 

“Why were you happy!!” i heard my sister say

“Huh”

“Why did you get better?! You should have never gone to that therapy” “All i wanted was to see you miserable because that made me happy and you took my place in school after you got better, YOU STOLE EVERYONE FROM ME”

“What i never stole anyone from you all nor anything”

“ I hate you so much!!!” she yelled 

After that she got a knife and stabbed me and so did my mom, dad, and….brother. Everything was going black. 

“It’s not my..fault” 

I said in as i could barely speak, after that everything went black.