Brotherly love

Written by: Ella G

Life takes things and gives things. Humans have complicated emotions and that what makes us human, I suppose? I’m a sophomore at Snowlake High School and I’ve learned that life lesson too many times to count. 

My freshman year. 

The day started windy and cold, but that's March. It was the start of the baseball season so I had to carpool with my friend’s mom. My brother normally took me to school but he has baseball before and after school. When we got there, my friend and I, we had to run through the cold and wind to get to class on time. I can’t believe my brother plays baseball in this weather I thought.

It was the 1st period, my English class and my teacher, Mrs. Tampleaser always had the air conditioner on. I can’t figure out which is worse, English in the morning or freezing to death. I was working on annotating a chapter from Robin Hood when my teacher got a phone call. My whole class when quiet, trying to pick up slivers of the conversation. You could see Mrs. Tampleaser's face drop. Her eyebrows fell and her green eyes started filling with tears. You never see that in a teacher unless something was wrong. I was filled with anxiety, the class got even quieter and everyone was waiting to see what happened next.

Then my teacher said “I’ll send her up”

That was even worse. Mrs. Trampleaser was crying and now the class knows it's about a girl. My anxiety got worse. It felt like ants were crawling up my arms and legs. I had goosebumps and I can tell that I wasn’t the only one who had them. Someone’s life was about to be changed and I was scared for who it was. Mrs. Trampleaser hung up the phone and grabbed a few tissues. After more silence Msr. Trampleaser said the unbelievable.

“Harper grab your stuff and come to my desk.”

I froze, terrified what was going to happen next. I snapped out of my frozen state and packed my stuff. Everyone's eyes were following me. I could feel their eyes on my skin. Some were curious others were sorrowful but nothing was louder than my heart. The beating was everywhere, in my cheeks especially. I finally got to her desk and I stood there frightened about what will happen next.

She told me to head to the office and don’t worry about tonight's homework. Everything was

getting worse. On my long hike to the office, I thought of everything that could happen. The 2 reasons that made the most sense were that my house had been robbed or my grandma died. 

I finally made way to the office door. If I opened that door I knew that my life was going to change and I don’t think I was ready for that.

I grabbed the cold handle and walked in, all the office workers went silent. I was in the middle of the office and everyone was looking at me like I had something on my face. One office worker started crying and another was staring at me not even blinking. Something was wrong and it was about me. 

Finally, the secretary said something “Your mom is on the way, I’m so sorry.”

She never said what she was sorry about and my mom was coming. I’m still confused, but I had to say something, they were all still staring at me.

“What about Owen?” I asked.

My brother should be here. If it was any of those reasons I thought of, he should be in the office with me. 

The office was silent and the office worker that was crying started crying even more.

It all sunk in. I was on the floor bawling. I don’t know how I got to the floor but I didn’t care. My heartfelt like it broke in two. The pain hurt. I couldn’t think, I could only feel. It was a blur of hands and tissues. My mom was there at one point but I didn’t care. The only thing I could do was feel pain and cry. My heart was run over by a bus than an airplane than a tank in which all three stayed parked on my heart.

My brother was gone

I woke up in my bed not having any idea what time it was. I walked downstairs in which I found my mom crying, talking on the phone. She noticed I was standing there and hung up the phone without saying goodbye. She quickly wiped her tears away walked to me. I had a huge headache and I couldn’t recall anything from when or how I got to my house. My mom hugged me and we stood there for some time. When she was hugging me I finally remembered. I remembered school and the office and my brother. 

“How?” I whispered to my mom trying hard not to cry again.

My mom let go of me and looked me in the eyes. “He was playing baseball,” her eyes started filling with tears, “and he was behind home plate. His friend started feeding him baseballs and he paused to pick the ones he missed.” Now my mom was weeping. “He bent down to pick them up and he got hit. There was a ball jammed in the machine and he got hit right in the neck. His friend called his name and told him to get up but the doctors estimated that 40 seconds later he was gone.” 

We were both shedding tears and all we did was hug each other. 

Four days later the funeral came.

It was mainly hugs and “I’m so sorry” They were all trying to help and I knew that but nothing could take away the pain. It hurt knowing that Owen was gone. His best friend Leo was the one putting baseballs in the machine when Owen got hit and he was the only one that didn’t say I’m sorry. Leo said something that made the pain hurt more but helped in away.

“Harper, it’s going to hurt and the pain will probably never stop but it’s normal. Everyone that has lost someone or something is feeling that pain. Your brother was a good man and he was the best person I knew. He loved you. He always talked about you when we hung out. He said that you were the best little sister and he envied you. The way you take everything with confidence and nothing pushes you down. He really loved you”

Leo hugged me after that and I started crying again. It felt like I was crying every day now.

I could only think about Owen. The times took me to late-night milkshakes or the times when he picked me up from my friends' houses because they were being jerks. He always covered for me when I stayed up past curfew and sometimes we stayed up talking to 2 am talking about school and which guys I like and which friends weren’t my friends anymore. He always listened and he told me stories of his own. When I was auditioning for the school honors choir and I didn’t make it, I went to my room crying. He didn’t ask what was wrong he just hugged me.  That's what was amazing about him. He knew what I was going through without me saying anything.

When I was in silent pain he knew and helped me tell I got strong again.

He will never graduate. He never got married and had children of his own. That hurt to think about but I will always love him.

It was unfair that life took him from me but everyone loses something and I knew that life takes things. Life also gives things and those things are amazing.