The definition of depression to some people is sadness. Depression is a feeling of severe despondency and dejection. Well, anyways, my name is Madie Hill. I am thirteen years old. You may think this is another pity pity story with a happy ending. Well…, not all endings are happy.
I currently live with my grandma. We live right beside that bloodcurdling, unnerving grave yard. I live by the three rules in my house. No dating, no talking to people AT ALL, and no skipping dinner. If I break any of these rules, I am mistreated. Well, I am used to it already.
“Come down here, ugly!” My brother Derrick joked. I find that ‘U’ word a joke.
I scurried downstairs for dinner. I honestly hate eating, I’m already overweight. I saw the white, shiny plate hit the table. Steak, macaroni and cheese, and those disgusting green things called “Italian Fresh Green Beans”.
The room was filled with many different things. Steam, silence, confusion, and I could tell, sadness.
Everyone’s eyes landed on me with a small frown, with their hands folded. My grandma was giving me a death stare, waiting for a moment.
“What?” I finally speak up.
“You forgot.” My grandma’s eyes widen.
“Oh right, we have to say grace.” I folded my hands, expecting someone to begin.
I don’t appreciate how they expect me to be some prissy church girl from the end of the street. When will I ever be considered normal?
“Madie!” My grandma barked. I opened my eyes to see my brother and my grandma devouring their plate.
“I unfolded my hand and began to eat with a glare on my face.
Before I knew it, I was finished.
“I’m going to the park” I shrieked. I slipped on my white shoes that looked like a homeless person wore. I slammed the door to let out my misery.
I felt the fresh breeze of the air attack my back until I was interrupted.
“Woah!” An unfamiliar voice shouted as they tripped in front of me.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” I gasp as I offer to help him up. He finally gathered all of his stuff together and rose up.
“Hi, I’m Sam. You?” He held his hand out, expecting a hand shake. He had bleached out  saggy jeans, a black over sized hoodie, and a pair of old, wore out boots.
“Madie.” I nod, rejecting the hand shake. He tried to brush the grass off of his jeans.
“Wanna hang out around the park?”
“I guess so.” I replied.
We start to walk to the enormous lake, completely silent.
“Well…, how’s life?” He paused after.
“Pretty good. You?” I lied.
“Would you believe me if I told you this?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Um, I guess.”
“I’m depressed…, like- very. Please don’t fun of me, please. I am the only boy around known for depression.” He worries as his face turned as red as a bursting tomato.
He really is the only boy I know that has depression.
“I don’t-“
“Believe me. Yes, I know.” He interrupted.
“No, I don’t make fun of people for that kind of stuff.” I corrected him.
I saw a figure coming towards the lake. It was my brother, Derrick.
“Oh I better get going!” I rushed.
“Why?!” He starts to get up.
“No time for questions. I have to go!” I yelled behind me while I was sprinting off in to the park’s forest. I completely forgot that I am not allowed to talk to anybody.
“Madie?” I recognized that voice. I turned my head to see Derrick standing there.
“Where were you? What were you doing? We got wor-“
“I was just taking a walk in the park. A very long walk. Not saying a word.” I caught myself from stuttering.
“Let’s get home Mads.” We both turned to the right and start heading home in the foggy graveyard. I can swear on my life that this graveyard holds a secret. A secret that nobody can notice. This would be a perfect place to sleep… forever.
“Madie! What are you doing?” Derrick was staring at me like I’m dumb. I continued to walk, and get back on track.
Creek! The door flew open as we entered the retired room.
“Be in bed by nine thirty, and I mean it.” She pointed her long, slender, finger at me. Derrick is never in trouble. It’s always me, me, me.
I stomped upstairs. I began to put my new pajamas on. Bottom with watermelon emoticons with an aqua background, along with a watermelon top.
I was lying on this stiff mattress. It felt like a cold jail. I set my mind to many things. Will I ever meet that Sam kid again? My mind was bursting in to flames. I quickly drifted off to a deep sleep.
Tweet! Tweet! I could hear the dark, black, scary birds chirping.
I lifted my covers and hopped out of bed. I took a quick glance out of the window, at the damp, damp fog.
“Boo!” I saw someone bump against the glass. Guess who it was, Sam.
I unlatched the window and let the damp air rush in as Sam was waiting outside my window.
“What do you want?” I slammed my hands down on the edge.
“Jeez, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to that one ice cream place down town.” He grinned. I mean, why not?
“Sure. Let me get ready first, though. Just go wait on my door step.” I thought fast.
“Who were you talking to, young lady?” My grandma glared at me in suspense.
I glanced out the window to see Sam, no longer standing there. Phew! That was a close one.
“Oh, no one, I was just talking to myself.” That wasn’t my BEST excuse.
“Oh, really?” She raised her eyebrows, still staring at me.
“Um…, yeah!” I closed the window sill like nothing just happened.
“Madie, are you up to something?”
“No! Why would I?” I shook my head. She finally left. I started to get sweaty from the relief.
I slammed the door once again as I leave. Wait, Sam isn’t here!
“Boo!” He popped out.
“Can you not?” I chuckled.
I followed behind Sam. I don’t even know where this place is.
“Have you ever been here before?” He asked.
“Well, no. Not really.”
“I come here every day. I know the people here. They help me with my depression.” He frowned.
“Wow. You’re lucky. I don’t have anyone.” I looked down in jealously.
“What about Derrick?” He questioned.
“He would never understand.”
“Oh. Well…, I do.” He grinned, I assume he felt special.
We entered the ice cream palace building.
We lower down, waiting for our server.
“Hello! I am Haley and I will be your server. What would you like?” She squeaked. She looked at both of us, one at a time.
“Vanilla milkshake.” He pointed at the menu.
“Vanilla milkshake as well.” I nodded.
“Make that one large vanilla milkshake with two straws, please.” Sam requested. But why?
Our server clicked her pen and scrambled through the crowd.
“Why?” I glared.
“C’mon, we are besties, right?” He grinned. What is up with him and grinning?
“Not really…, we just met yesterday.” I seemed so serious, as Sam frowned for once. Sometimes I think that he holds a fake smile.
“Okay, fine. We are ‘besties’.” I chuckled.
“Good!” He bounced up and literally punches the air, in happiness I’m guessing.
“Here is your milkshake, and your two straws! Enjoy!” The server appeared out of nowhere.
I peeled my straw and started drinking the delicious milkshake.
“Stop slurping.” Sam slurps.
“Stop slurping.” I sassed back.
We finally left that castle of dairy.
“I have to get home before the monsters I live with mistreat me!” I dramatically exclaimed.
“Monsters?” he tilted his head in confusion.
“I live with my brother, in a sacred house by the graveyard. My grandma is in charge of me.”
“What’s so bad about it?” He questioned me.
“I’m sadly not supposed to be speaking to you right now.” I said depressingly.
“Oh…, why not? That’s a pretty dumb rule.” He glared.
“My dad died in 2001, and my mother is no longer in this country. We moved from New York to this trashy area, with my grandma.” I started to tear up from the thought of never actually meeting my dad.
“I am sorry to ask, but how did your dad die?” he quenched his teeth.
“Well…, I don’t know how to explain it. He was at work because my family was currently broke. The building began to shake. He rushed down the stairs to the lobby, down the remaining 36 flights of stairs out of 107. Before he could even ask what the enormous thunder was, the building collapsed and his mind went pitch black.” I started balling.
“Wow! That’s pretty depressing. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He started balling too as we sounded like babies that just got their candy taken away.
“For like the fiftieth time, I have to go. Goodbye, Sam.” I said as I struggled to dry my tears. I began making my way home.
“Wait!” I’m guessing Sam exclaimed.
“What Sam? I have to go!” I turned around.
“Wanna go to tha-“
BOOM!
“Run!” I heard a man shout. We glanced at each other and followed behind the stampede of people rushing by.
I realized that I had just lost Sam.
“Madie!” A filmier voice cried out.
“Um, Madie?”
I threw my eyes wide open, my eyes landing on Sam with a confused expression on his face.
“Sorry.” I spat out.
All of a sudden, Sam started sobbing. I calmly stood there, awkwardly stared at him crying. He gazed at me with the redness ang gloss in his eyes, waiting. What was he waiting for? Wait…Oops.
“What’s wrong Sam?” I uttered.
“Leave me alone!” He snapped.
I believe him, he does want to be left alone. I start to walk home.
“You know what? Fine.” He snarled. I turned back around in diffusion. We stood in silence.
“Well…, Are you going to tell me or not?” I inquired.
“I am still depressed.” He claimed. Before I could even respond, he interrupted.
“I have been bullied since I was six years old. I still am, actually. People used to call me gay because I hung out with girls, a lot. It went on for years, until it finally stopped. They all began something new. They started calling me too fat, too skinny, too short, and too tall. I never knew what I was. I didn’t know what to believe. I’ve never been so depressed enough to not remember almost anything. About a month later, I tried to commit suicide. I was home alone on a Sunday night. My dad was at a bar, and my mom is dead and has been since I was eight months. The guns weren’t locked up in the gun case. I had been receiving several rude comments from my friends that day I guess you could say, and I lost all of the remaining friends I had. Even the close ones, and the ones that has stuck with me for many years. I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled out the gun and pointed it right at my stomach. I took a deep breath and fired the gun. I fell to the floor, as everything went black. I woke up to see myself in the hospital, as blurry as can be. I actually did survive. Want to see the mark?”
I nodded. I stared at the giant hole in his stomach. It looked like an over-sized belly button.
“Sam, I have a question.”
“Yes?”
“Why would they call you gay for hanging out with girls? I mean it’s pretty stupid. It’s like saying that you can’t even talk to a girl.” I wondered.
“It was just a thing people at school made up. I really don’t exactly know why they did it.” He struggled to wipe his tears of sadness.
I could just imagine him, standing there, pointing the gun at himself as drowns in his own tears. What did he ever do to deserve this?
“I’m so sorry, Sam.” I felt my face automatically heat up like a house bursting in to flames.
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”
“No! Don’t say that!” I doubted him.
We randomly started kicking gravel up, walking down the long road.
“Sam, can you do me a favor?” I had just the right plan.
“What?” He looked puzzled.
“Go get a permanent marker, any color you want.” I vowed.
“I-um- I don’t have any.”
“Let me go get you one.” I smirked, knowing exactly what to do.
I dashed in to the nearest dollar store, like a track star. I quickly snatched up a pack of colorful markers on the rack. I was heading towards the exit doors.
“Hey! You!” I heard a voice shout. I continued to dash towards the exit.
“Stop!” I supposed that was the security. The security telling me to stop isn’t going to affect anything.
I darted off to the place where Sam should be waiting.
“Madie!” I turned around in a fight position.
“Woah.” I felt embarrassed.
“Sorry. I just stole these.” I gasped.
“Wait…, you stole those?” He looked devastated.
“Yes. But don’t worry about it. It’s all good, trust me.” I tried my best to calm him down.
I sat on the ground, as Sam mimicked me.
“Anyways, pick a color.” I demanded. He scrolled his eyes across the variety of colors. He chose blue, my favorite color.
“Okay, now, I want you to write my name on your wrist, and something to go along with it.” I tried to stay positive.
He started sketching out my name in the indulged blue marker. He wrote ‘I love Madie’ on his wrist.
“Why do you want me to do this again?” He questioned me.
“Whenever you are feeling down, look at your wrist. I am always here for you, Sam. Even if I am gone at the moment, I will always be here for you.” He started to tear up.
“That was deep, man.” He chuckled.
“I try to be.” I smiled with my teeth literally hanging out.
I pushed my hands up from the ground to stand up.
“Wait, where are you going?” He panicked.
“Home.”
“Why?
“It is way past my curfew, I’m sorry.” I frowned at the ground.
“Can we walk to your house?” He suggested.
“My grandma would catch us!” I warned.
“I know what to do.” He pulled me along with him which caused me to end up following behind his footsteps. The gravel crushed as we were walking down the enormous road through the foggy, hilly, grave yard.
“Well, we’re here.” I declared.
“Thank you, Sam.” I smiled. He began to wander off.
“Hey! Step away from her!” I heard someone demand. It was, of course, my grandma. I gasped in fear, as Sam was standing behind me in confusion.
Sam grabbed my arm, acting like Scooby Doo holding on to Shaggy for dear life.
“Take one more step, I’ll shoot you.” She demanded. You see what I mean now?
“I’m sorry, miss. I will go now.” He released.
“Shut up!” She pointed her gun at Sam, as hid jaw dropped.
He darted off in to the wilderness, not saying a word.
I saw my grandma lower her gun. I took off behind the house.
“You’re not skipping dinner!’ I could sense her footsteps, coming towards me. I began to sob deeply, choking on my own saliva. I just lost my best friend.
“Madie!” I turned around in shock.
“Um, you might want to come eat dinner now. I don’t know what she’s doing…, and why is your face so red?” He tilted his head.
“My friend is gone…” I whimpered.
“Madie, you know you aren’t supposed to be talking to anyone.” He said with a serious look.
“He’s really nice, though. He has depression and I don’t know what he will do without me. He is the first person I have ever met that feels the same way as I do.” I bolted towards the front door to get away from all worries.
“Wait! You’re depre-“ I cut Derrick off by slamming the door.
“Sit down. Now.” I could tell that I was in a big mess now. More like a deadly mess.
“Who was that trashy boy you were walking with?” She sounded very concerned.
“Nobody. He came to me first, and I couldn’t get him to leave me alone.” I lied.
“We’re having sausage pizza for dinner.” She changed the subject. I didn’t respond. I’ve always hated sausage pizza.
I spotted Derrick aggressively stomp in to the kitchen. He yanked a chair out plopped down.
“You have depression?” He restated.
“Kind of.” I mumbled. Not just a little depression, a lot, actually. I’m tired of girls being so much prettier than me, smarter, having a bigger and better personality, and can go a day without receiving any insults. I’m tired of having to deal with people that are so strict where I can’t even live my life, not being able to speak, not being able to love who I want to love, and pretending like I have already ate so I can skip dinner. People are just… better.
“Eat your pizza.” I heard my grandma say. I snapped out of the depression zone.
“I don’t like sausage pizza.”
“Then skip dinner.” My eyes widened.
“Okay then! I will.” I stomped my way outside.
I wonder how Sam is doing. He could possibly be dead right now. But, let’s think positive.
I’ve only known him for a few days, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. We ran in to each other. No, seriously, ran in to each other. We hung out for a little bit. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be talking to anyone. But, I didn’t want him to think I was weird. We seemed to be very interested in each other’s personality, though. My mind stopped. I pictured the fear in his eyes while I was running away.
I jerked the door open and slammed it closed. I had no worries for my family, at all. I rushed to the lake, where Sam and I once sat. I searched and searched. No Sam.
I quickly got myself out of there. I dashed to the park, where we crashed in to each other. I rushed around the park, searching like a police dog. No sign of Sam.
I decided to search the very last place I could think of. The grave yard. I left the park with so much on my mind. I am a mess of unfinished thoughts.
Instead of crossing the rocky, rough, road to my house. I stumbled through the ditch, towards the graveyard. I spotted a weird figure, lying on the ground.
I started to stare deeply at the figure. I got a closer look at it. I darted towards it, swerving around the grave stones.
It was someone I have seen before. Sam. Lying on the ground, not budging at all. What happened here?
All of my thoughts automatically went downhill. My thoughts back forwarded.
I glanced down at Sam. I flipped his bare wrist over. He had been lying in these leave, the whole time, it seemed like.
The blackness had faded. His hair felt stiff; as hard as a rock. I could picture the faded words as my name.
The wind blew in a breeze as the dried out leaves crackled. Along with the leaves, a fresh piece of paper rolled.
I caught the paper rolling across the grass. I unscrambled the lined paper. It said something.
“Dear Madie,
  I am so sorry this had to happen. I’ve always wondered, ‘Will I still go to heaven if I commit suicide?’ My life was already a hell itself. My world was damaged, until I met you. You changed my life, in just a few days. Stay strong Madie. I love you. I will see you soon, hopefully. You were my only friend. I just lost my friend…, my everything. Just remember, don’t let them break your stride.”
I began to bawl. Wow… Sam died. Died without me. You know I can’t LIVE without Sam either…
I quickly rushed to the dairy castle. Without speaking, I plopped down at a booth.
“What would you li-“
“A large vanilla milkshake with one straw, please.”