I sigh in relief as I see my moms car pull up to the garage. A couple of minutes later my mom is in the house with a distressed look on her face.
“Can we talk,” she says as she notions to the family room. We follow her in there and sit down. She doesn't sit but paces the floor.
“I don't know how to say this,” she begins
“Mom, its ok,” I say trying to comfort her. All eyes are fixated on her every move.
“I have stage four cancer,” she blurts out. Tears now begin to form in her eyes as she walks over to give my dad a hug. He is motionless. His expression is foreign to me. He says nothing.
“Its ok mom,” reiterated Chloe.
“You can just do chemo or something,” I sharply say.
“Honey , its more than that. There is nothing the doctors can do,” she speaks calmly. My dad still mute. I can feel pain throughout my whole body and I think of what i'm going to say next.
“how.. um how long do you have,” I mumble. I can’t decide if the question is appropriate for the situation but I need to know for how much longer I will have my mom.
“Maybe 2 months,” she speaks softer than I’ve ever heard her speak.
“2 months? Michelle when were you diagnosed?” My dad breaks the silence.
“They found it a year and a half ago. It was in my leg, and it was an easy procedure to remove it. About 5 or 6 months after the procedure when I went for a checkup they found traces in my lung and brain. That day they gave me about a year to live,” She stated.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Why didn’t you tell me?” Shouted my dad. His behavior was getting increasingly different than what I was used to.
“I didnt want to worry any of you. I wanted to tell you when the time was right and I believe that time is now,” She continued.
“So what? It needs to be the right time for you? Did you want me find out you had cancer after it killed you,” continued my dad. He was still shouting. My mom began to sob uncontrollably.
“I.. I.. didn’t want this Dylan. I didn’t want this,” she meekly stated.
“Save it,” Dylan snapped. These two words pierced through my mom the way a knife never could. I could see the pain and betrayal in her eyes. She looked down to the floor and walked away. Her footsteps echoed in the house as she walked away, getting quieter and quieter each step she took. I scowled over at my dad who was sitting motionless with a blank expression on his face. I then got up and followed my moms path. She was sitting upstairs in her room, crying.
“Mom,” I meekly say.
“Yes,” she weeps
“Don’t let him get to you,”
“Honey, he’s never said anything so upsetting to me,” she continues.
“I don’t know what he is thinking. Maybe he is having a bad day?” I state but also ask.
She stays mute. I walkover to her and sit on the bed.
“You should just take a warm shower now,” I say.
“Ok,” she sobs as she gets up and heads for the bathroom. I can’t help but feel like the adult in this situation. A position that I will soon be taking on at a much greater force. I walk back downstairs and scan the dark rooms for Chloe. As I pass by the family room I see my dad. His face is illuminated by his phone as he stares blankly at it. I assume it's work related and continue along with my search for Chloe. I find her curled up in a ball on her bed. I walk over and begin to speak.
“Chloe,” I meekly say.
“What?” she sobs.
“I know its hard. It’s crazy hard, but it's even harder for mom. She has to leave us way earlier than she wants. She can't see us graduate, fall in love, get married, and have kids everything moms are supposed to take part in. It's hard for us too because she won't be there for those big days. Well look into the crowd and imagine her face there, smiling at us. You’ll be ok Chloe. It’s something that happened, and it can’t change. There's nothing they can do. They tried everything. If I were her yes I would have told us earlier but she didn't want to take away the quality time we had together. You’ll be ok Chloe. We would have acted different. You need to know I am still here. I am here for you Chloe and you can come to me with anything and I will help you.” I sniffle. Tears are rolling down my face.
“We'll be ok,” says chloe as she hands me a tissue. Our sisterly talk was cut short as my Dad yelled for me to go to my own room. Not wanting to cause an argument I reluctantly followed his directions.
Once I reached my room I broke down. The reality hit me harder than anything i've ever heard in my life. Water streamed from my eyes and I didn’t even know what to do why myself. I decided to call Kevin.
“Hello,” Kevin answers.
“Hi, Uh Kevin do you have some time to talk? I really need it,” I say in between sobs.
“Of course,” he answers quickly. “What’s wrong?”
“My mom has cancer. Stage 4. She found out she had cancer like a year and a half ago. It wasn’t bad but when they removed it, it had already spread, And just told us tonight about everything, And she has two months to live, And I don’t know what to do Kevin, I don't know what to do.” I rambled getting everything off my chest.
“Come over and we can talk about everything. Don’t bring your school stuff we can skip tomorrow and do something fun to try and get your mind off it,” Kevin suggests.
“Okay,” I reluctantly say. I’m not quite sure I want to go out when I have such little time with my mom but I need the extra time to try and comprehend everything that's happening.
“See you soon,” says Kevin. I hang up the phone and start gathering some clothes. After about fifteen minutes I have a bag with clothes, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a brush and a small photo of my mom and I when I was young.
“Can I go to Kevin’s tonight,” I ask my mom as I walk in her room.
“Sure honey,” she responds. Kevin is like her son. She knows, respects and trusts him which is why I was allowed to go. If it was any other boy the answer would be a stern no.
“Thank you,” I say as I kiss her cheek and head for the door.
“See you tomorrow,” I hear my mom say as I head out the door. Once I get out of the room the hard part is over. From now on I can try to relax and understand everything that is happening. I go to the garage and get in my car and leave for Kevins. He only lives about ten minutes away so I was there fairly quick. When I pulled into his driveway I saw the grand house I know so well. The large wood door opened and Kevin emerged with a fake smile.

“I’m sorry. I know you just lost your mom and you're probably not ready to help someone else especially when they have that same issue. You’re just the only one I can talk to about this, not even Jessica. I didn’t know where else to go,” I said as I got out of the car and headed for the front door.
“No Ellie. Don’t apologize. Yes, I’m still struggling but we can get through this together. I know we can,” I followed him inside. The grand entrance was spotless. Two detailed staircases curved up to the second floor, meeting each other at the top. The white marble floor glistened as we walked across it into the gigantic living room.
“Okay, what do you want to do first,” Kevin asked. “Food, lets make some food!” he shouted answering his own question.
“Shhh. Your dad's probably sleeping,” I reminded Kevin.
“Nope,” he smiled. “He’s away on a business trip for the whole week,” he continued. Kevin’s dad was a highly successful businessman, but due to that was a way more than he was home.
“Oh, Okay,” I answered sorta shocked that Kevin’s dad would leave him alone for a while week.
“Yup! So don’t worry about it,” Kevin reiterated.
“So what do you wanna make?” I asked.
“Something unhealthy obviously,” Kevin Joked.
“How about a cake?” I suggested.
“Sounds great,” he said as he opened almost every cabinet searching for the ingredients we would need.
After extensive hours of baking crap and eating it while complaining about life and everything it entails, we decided to go to bed so we could make the most of our much needed “fun day” tomorrow. While Kevin was finishing cleaning up I got my bag and went to his room where I would change to nike shorts and tshirt. I threw my bag onto his bed and I heard a thump. I scanned the floor and found a little clear bag with what seemed to be white powder in it. My heart hit the floor when I realized what it must be: cocaine. Do I confront him? Do I let it slide? When did this happen? When did he start? I havn’t noticed any changes maybe he hasn't done it yet. I mean yeah he's struggling without his mom but that isn't an excuse to throw your own life down the drain.
“Hey Ellie are you good,” asks Kevin from the other side of the door.
“Yeah, sorry I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to wear.” I lied as I hid the cocaine in his bed sheets.
“To bed?” Kevin laughed unaware of what I was doing.
“Why not. You have to look good 24/7,” I joked as the door opened and Kevin came in holding a blow up bed. He then placed it on the floor next to his own bed and started putting black tribal print sheets on it.
“Cute sheets, did you pick those out yourself,” I joked. Kevin rolled his eyes and continued putting the sheets on. I walked over and sat on his bed. I don’t even think he knew that the cocaine was still on his bed because he was unphased when I started moving his sheets to “get comfortable”. I didn’t want to straight up ask about it, but if he remembered and started acting weird it would be a perfect conversation starter. Once Kevin finished the sheets it was 2:30am and we were both exhausted. I crawled into my makeshift bed and Kevin crawled into his.
“Ellie,” meekly said Kevin.
“Yes,” I responded.
“Can I tell you something? he asked.
“Of course,” I say.
“and you won’t judge me?” he questions.
“Yeah,” I say. I knew what he was going to say. He was going to tell me about his drug issue.
“I think when I’m 18 I’m gonna move out. I can’t live here anymore,” he shakily says.
“what? why?” I ask shocked by what I just heard.
“He, He just,” his voice was shaking. “He’s abusive and neglectful and I just don't feel loved or safe in this house. All her cares about is money and he'll leave me here for weeks without coming home trying to get more of what he doesn’t need. I guess when I was younger and my mom was around I had someone who loved me and now that she’s gone I don't have that anymore. It’s just me trying to get through life without any support or love coming from parents. When my mom dies he changed… He changed a lot Ellie. It’s like I don’t even know who he is anymore.”
I wanted to shout at him for not telling me about his struggles earlier. His life has been hell for over six months and he hasn’t even told his best friend. I just kept that thought to myself. He was already dealing with so much I didn't need to be yelling at him. He opened up to me totally and that was amazing. I totally knew he trusted me with everything, and I trusted him too.
“How long has he been abusive? Come live with me or I can come here more. Are you okay?” I ask. Clearly he wasn’t okay I just didn't know what to say.
“I’m okay. Recently ‘ve just been putting up with it you know. I’m used to it but I absolutely hate it. He started after my moms funeral. I know he misses her and I guess he sees her in me and it makes him mad she's gone.” Kevin answered.
Well you know what,” I laughed trying to brighten the mood. “Tomorrow is gonna be great. We can do anything you want.” I came to Kevin for him to help me with my coping but it turns out he needs me more than I need him. He looked up and smiled. Seriously smiled because for once he was happy with someone who actually truly loved him. After that we just laid there, silent until we both fell asleep. 
“BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,” The fire alarm was blaring. I shot up and looked for Kevin who wasn’t in his bed. I frantically ran down the stairs screaming for Kevin.
“Over here,” Kevin screamed. I followed his voice and found him in the kitchen standing over the stove. Burnt pancakes were sitting on the pan, steaming and black. Kevin ran over the alarm system on the wall, punched in some number and turned off the noise.
“I thought there was actually a fire,” I laughed once Kevin successfully turned the sound off. 
“Sorry,” He smiled. “I thought I’d be nice to make pancakes for us,” He said as he turned and looked back at the black circles on the pan.
“It was a good try,” I joked.
“Great start to our “fun day”,” Added Kevin.
“So what do you wanna do?” I asked.
“No Idea,” Answered Kevin.
“Great,” I sarcastically said.
“How about we just get in the car and drive until we see some place we want to stop.” He suggested.
“Sounds good,” I answered excited about where the road may take us. We remade the pancakes, packed the car with food, clothes and bathing suits. Right before we left Kevin ran back inside because he “forgot something vitally important” as he put it. When he came back out he was carrying a huge encyclopedia.
“Now when would we ever need that? It probably has 1,000 pages,,” I asked.
“Just wait for it,” smiled Kevin. He held the book by the binding and shook it so the pages swung back and fourth. Money came falling out, mostly 100’s. Lot’s of it.
“What? Where did you get that!” I screamed.
“My dad’s little stash,” He replied as he put the book down and started counting the plethora of bills. I helped by picking it up and handing it to him as he counted.
“20,000,” smiled Kevin. I couldn't even speak I was in utter shock. “and I have my credit card.” he continued. “It’s for emergencies only, but what's more of an emergency than this,” he joked. We both buckled up and began our journey.

In the beginning it was quiet but after 3o minutes we started talking and joking about everything possible. We had no clue where we were. We just picked and chose roads that looked fun to go down, exits with numbers we liked and followed cars for a little until we vered our own way.
Finally we saw a sign that said “Brandi Town Festival” and decided to check it out. It was amazing. Everything you could possibly think of was there: live music, food, rides, games, arcades, shops etc. We spent the entire day at the festival and left once it closed at 10pm. The ride home was about an hour and gave us time to talk about everything once again.
“So, uh , Kevin… I know you’ve been through alot but when I was in your room changing I found a bag of cocaine on your bed. I wasn’t snooping I promise it fell off your bed when I threw my bag down. I just want to make sure you're not ruining your life. You have so much to offer and will definitely go to an amazing school if you keep up your grades and athletics.” I said nervously scared of what the response might be.
“What,” laughed Kevin. “James from school, ya know the kid thats a crazy druggie, gave me that after everything with my mom and told me I’d help with everything. I never took it Ellie I promise. I would never throw my life away like that. It’s just not me.
Once Kevin was finished speaking the weight off my shoulders lifted. I knew he wasn’t lying. He would never lie about something as serious as that.
Kevin dropped me off at home around midnight. Everyone was sleeping so I slipped through the front door and went straight to bed.
The next day was impossible. School couldn't mask my emotions and I ended up skipping the majority of my classes to visit the sanctuary. Now I wasn’t just thinking of my problems but Kevin's too. Once I flicked on the lights I felt my emotions being released, but once again tears rolled down my face.
I flashed back to when I was around 8 and my mom used to read to me every night. I always asked her to read me Guess How Much I Love You By: Sam McBratney. The final words “I love you right up to the moon - and back” were always my favorite. After she read it I would ask her if she would always love me that much. Her response was simple but complete.
“Always”
I never realized always had an expiration date. I spent the rest of the day sitting on the lone couch replaying that one word in my mind.
Once I got home I was greeted by my mom. She had made Chloe and me mac and cheese. As we sat down she grabbed an extra bowl and sat with us. We all just sat there in silence until she spoke.
“How was school?” mom asked.
“Great,” I lied. I didn’t want her to have anything else on her mind. Terminal cancer was enough. We continued to “small talk” for another twenty minutes until the mac and cheese was all gone. I was the first to get up, followed by Chloe, then mom. We slowly washed out the bowls and placed them into the half empty dishwasher. I walked over the the table and took out my books. I had no idea what the homework was but I pretended like I was writing something down for a half hour. After that performance I walked into the family room and put on the tv until my dad came home.
Dinner is awkward to say the least. Knives and forks hitting the plates is the only sound and eyes wander looking for the first person who would speak. I clear my throat and say.
“I got an A on my Chemistry test,” Lie number one of dinner.
“Oh great honey!” smiled mom.
“good job. I’m proud of you,” said dad. Lie two. I could see in his eyes he was dreaming of being somewhere else. A place where cancer wasn't an issue and getting an A on a made up test wasn't the most exciting part of dinner. We just continued eating until everyone was done and then cleared the plates and headed our separate ways.
Weeks went by like this. Same old dinner, Barely any conversation, lies, until one day everything changed. We were all sitting at the table when mom just fell. She practically fainted and none of us knew what to do. We picked her up, placed her in the car and drove to the nearest hospital as fast as we could.
Once we got there we were immediately given a room and a doctor to examine my mom. I went to the room with my dad while Chloe stayed in the waiting room.
“It seems as if she's had a heart attack,” said the doctor. He was a middle aged man with blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes wandered frequently and his voice fluctuated as he speaks.
“Ok. Well what does that mean? Will she be ok?” I ask.
“She is unresponsive now, but still breathing. We are hoping tomorrow she will wake and everything will go up hill from there,” he smiles.
“And if she doesn't?” snarls my dad. I look up at him and roll my eyes.
“Was that necessary?” I begin “Your wife is lying in front of you unresponsive and you take that tone with the person who is trying to save her. Why don’t you just go sit in the lobby I can figure this out.”
“Don’t you dare say that to me Ellie. Who do you think you are? Why dont you go sit in the lobby we need someone who is actually intelligent to handle this situation,” he snarls. Once he finishes he grabs my neck, pushes me out the room, and slams the door in my face as I turn around.
I am horrified. My dad has never but his hands on me like this before. Something inside him has definitely changed and it is not for the better. I slowly walk to the waiting room where I see chloe reading a Tiger Beat magazine. She looks up with a worried expression on her face and I smile although it is hard to do at this point.
“Unresponsive but breathing. The doctor says it was a heart attack,” I say before she opens her mouth to ask how mom is. I replay my my dad pushing me over and over in my head. My eyes became teary Chloe looks up me.
“It’s ok. We’ll be ok,” she reiterates.
“I know i'm just going to miss her,” I say. I definitely regret saying that once the words leave my lips. I know I should stay positive for Chloe but it is so hard to think on the bright side. She's going to die I think, and soon. Hours passes as Chloe and I sat quietly in the waiting room. Dad hadn't come out and I was starting to get worried. After about 20 minutes of nervously biting my nails I got up and went over to the counter.
“Can I go see my mom?” I asked.
“What’s her name?” answered the secretary.
“Michelle Shay” I reply.
“Ellie! Can I come?” asks Chloe.
“Just stay here Chloe. I will come get you if she's awake,” I answer.
“Yes you can go see her. Room 306 honey,” she says.
“Ok thank you,” I say as I begin to walk towards the elevator.
“Oh and honey,” she interrupts.
“Yes,” I say.
“She’s not doing so well. Its getting close to her time,” she finished.
“Thank you,” I say trying to hold a smile. I can feel my smile fading and quickly turn away. Thank god Chloe didn't hear that I think. I press the button and wait whats seems like an eternity for the elevator to arrive. I stepped in and pressed the 3 button. Once I arrived on the floor I scanned for room 306. The door was closed. I knocked and there was no answer so I turned the handle and pushed it open. The room was empty and spotless. The bed was made and the sheets were tucked in. On the top of the bed was an envelope with Ellie written on it in a font I didn’t recognise. I slowly approached the letter, took it off the bed and opened it.
Ellie,
    You will [not] be okay.