“Waiter, bring me another drink!” I slur. The bartender sighs at me but complies anyway, I mean, I am going to pay for it aren’t I? It’s not like I don’t have the money; hell, I have more money than the cost of this entire building, and I could make that in about a weeks time. The rude thoughts clear my head and I go on to moaping around. I down half of my drink and contemplate downing the other half before I just go for it. It’s only 9:07 p.m. but tonight, I don’t care. I flash my eyes up to the small television screen and immediately regret it. Flashing on the dim LED screen is a red banner with the words “THIRD ANNIVERSARY OF THE COSTA CONCORDIA SHIPWRECK”. It’s seems as if I can’t escape this hell.  A shaky breath escapes my lips as I down my fifth apple martini. That damned boat wrecks my every thought and litters my mind like the debris littered the sea that night. No one feels the kind of pain that I have felt. Sure, they tell about how the ship wrecked, but they don’t tell about who died. “Tonight we honor the 32 people who lost their lives that fateful night…”  the news anchor drones on. I pause for a second thinking that I am going to be wrong, but again, no. 32 people did die that night, but there’s only one they should be broadcasting about. And even then, all the money in the world couldn’t honor him like he deserves.
His name was William, William Compton. I met him my junior year in college and fell in love with him instantly. We shared a marketing class and he was the kind of person I needed in my life.  He had charm, class, and money. I admit, I was shallow at first, but later on, I fell for everything he was. We planned on starting our own businesses and going global; rolling around in money and sharing our love for each other. That was, before he had to leave me.
I slam my glass down on the table to try and take my mind off the thought of him. The commotion causes the entire bar to turn their heads at me, and then they start to ask me if I am alright. I quickly wipe my eyes, thinking that I had begun crying when I notice that tears aren’t the problem. I slowly place my hands on the table and look down; caught up in my own thoughts, I didn’t seem to notice that I had crushed my glass in my process of thought. I grab a napkin from the counter and pull the shards from my fingers. I apologize to the crowd that had begun surrounding me and run off to the bathroom. Little droplets of blood rain down to splatter my skirt as I run through the bar. Time seems to slow down and just as I am reaching for the restroom door, I see a shockingly familiar head of hair pass me. The breath escapes my whole body and immediate sobs rack my body. I quickly lock the door and sink down to the floor, overwhelmed by it all. “Was that?.. No it couldn’t be..” My breathing slowly starts to become regular again as I let out the shock. William had that same hair color and style last time I saw him. As I calm myself down and shake off the dreadfully hopeful thoughts, I begin to clean my hand. The sink is coated in a red tint and when it mixed with the water, it flows down the drain like my thoughts flow throughout  my brain.
After examining the damage, I fish out a band-aid from my purse and apply it to my hand before returning to the drink that is waiting for me at the bar. As I slide back into my seat, finally feeling the effects of the alcohol, I drunk dial my friend Alexus. Thankfully, she doesn’t answer. I think about this about ten seconds later when I remember why I am here and how badly I want to be left alone. That god forsaken news cast is still going on, over and over. “WE KNOW THE STUPID SHIP SANK, IT WAS THREE YEARS AGO LEAVE IT ALONE ALREADY!” I scream at the TV, thank god no one here knows who I am. I try to run away from my problems, but honestly, that will never happen.
January 13, 2012 at 9:45 p.m., my life changed forever.
I check my phone, and wouldn’t you know it, it is 9:39. Six minutes from now, William will die all over again.
“William, come on! We’re going to miss the boat if you don’t hurry up!!” “I’m coming Keller, just give me a second to check for everything!” We ran out to the street to call for a taxi. It had been almost two years since we had gotten together, and I was sure he was going to propose to me while on our trip. We boarded at the Civitavecchia port in Italy, having flown from Seattle two days prior. This week-long trip would be full of love and good food, as we had picked the best cruise line, Costa Concordia. The taxi arrived at the dock and we boarded right as they were pulling off. We ran to our room like little school children, already drunk on each others love.
On the second night, we went out to the formal dinner and I had butterflies swarming  in my stomach; he was going to propose. William was a complete gentlemen, he pulled out my chair for me, he even had one of their most expensive champagnes reserved for us. Fireworks exploded through the chilly air, I gasped in excitement and turned to get Will’s attention. Just as I turned around, he was attempting to slyly drop a ring into my glass. He looked up at me, a blush crept into his artfully crafted cheekbones and he began to chuckle nervously. In a matter of 0.5 seconds we were both rolling with laughter, the incessant giggles catching our neighbors attention. I downed the glass of champagne and caught the ring between my teeth. He took it from where I was holding and wiped it off before dropping to one knee. My hands shook as he slipped the ring onto my finger, at the same time a silent tear slid down my cheek. This beautiful man was mine, my bestfriend, my everything. I was dragged out of my thoughts at the sound of him calling my name. “Keller… what’s your answer?” he shyly asked me. “Of course, Will, it’ll always be you.” William embraced me into a tight hug and spun me around. The audience around us burst out into cheerful screams and tears; it was in that moment that time seemed to have stopped, and I fell harder than humanly possible for William Shannon Compton.
The next morning was even more magical, I was awoken by a breakfast in bed, complete with a white lily in a black vase. Following that, I was treated to a spa day. While I was soaking in a mud bath, I held my ring up to the light. I, Keller Rae LaRue, was going to be married to the love of my life. I switched our names around in my head, from Keller Compton to William LaRue, and while I was so caught up in my daydream, I had tuned out the world around me. When I smacked back into reality, I heard my phone ringing. It was William; why would he be calling me?? I answered promptly and listened to the silence on the line “Hello, babe?.. William? Are you there?” I asked with worry evident in my voice. Over the line I heard a slight crackling, that I assumed to be fire from the fireplace in our suite, and called out to him again. “William, sweetie, what’s wrong?” This time, a voice replied, but it did not appear to be Will. “Come to Room A-37, or you’ll regret it sweetie.” An eerie feeling crept into my spine as I got out and began to shower. The cool water calmed my nerves and, in the back of my mind, I knew I was overreacting but I couldn’t help it. I jumped out, and put on my red and green apple patterned robe that William had gotten me for our first anniversary. My cheap spa flip flops made squeaking noises beneath my feet and I knew that I was not being very soundless. I continued down the long hallways until I arrived at Room A-37. My heart was racing as I slowly turned the knob and cautiously slipped inside. I felt around for the light switch and flipped it on, after stumbling over something hard.
As I examined the room I let out a gasp; Will was in fact not in trouble, he had set up a romantic dinner for the two of us. He walked out from his hiding spot beneath the curtains and curtsied to me. All at once, the anxiety I felt melted away like the wax on the ruby red candle set in the middle of the small table he had set out for us. I ran towards him and caught him in a huge bear hug, to which he lovingly returned. “Will, I hate you!” I said playfully, and swatted at his chest. He grinned at me before leading me over to the table and pushing the chair in after me. We sat there by the candlelight all night, or well, until the couple that owned the room came back. We then ran back to our room embarrassed, giggling and tripping from the wine we had.
We awoke the next morning at 12:47 exactly, with terrible bed head and the clothes we wore from the night before. After we sat in bed and watched TV for almost two hours, we decided to go to the pool. As I got ready I decided to take off my engagement ring, in case I lost it in the pool. William seemed to notice this, because as we were walking out the door he grabbed my hand, felt for the ring, then looked down and frowned. “I left it in the room. I didn’t want to lose it, ya know?” He smiled at me like he hadn’t thought of that before saying “Oh, of course; we wouldn’t want that would we?” He said as he tried to wink at me. We erupted with laughter and finally started to look for somewhere to lay out by the pool. While lying there, I thought about how great my life was, in the sense that both of my parents were still alive, I had William, and my company was about to go global. Caught up in my thought, I somehow managed to doze off, and when I awoke I noticed Will had done the same. I quickly checked my phone and sighed as the time 4:35 p.m. “Dude, wake up, it’s like four o’clock and we haven’t caught any gnarly waves bro.” I said to him in a cheesy Australian accent. He c***ed an eyebrow at me before giggling and leaning up in his chair. After he gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek, we returned to the room to get ready for dinner.
Tonight was the formal dinner part of the cruise, so I layed out my black Gucci Damier and matching LouBoutin heels. As I was curling my hair to perfection, I saw William staring at me from his spot on the bed. He had on his best black suit and had put a little gel in his hair to accentuate his good looks. He winked at from where he was and I attempted to wink back. We  ended up laughing at each other for a solid 30 minutes, like we always do, because he was my best friend.
We left the suite at approximately 5:20 p.m. and began walking to the dining room. After a lobster dinner, a messy one at that, we then  had crème brûlée for a late dessert at 7:45. Throughout the course of the night, I kept looking down at my ring then back up to my husband to-be. After dinner was over, we went back to our suite and changed back into our bathing suits for a late night dip in the hot tub. For the second time that night I took off my engagement ring, because I did not want to lose it.
The hot water soothed my skin as William and I chatted up another couple that we had met. The clock on the ship dinged nine times, then a half chime following that,  informing us that is was 9:30. I looked towards William and smiled before asking him “Hey babe, do you want to leave soon? Tomorrow is the last day and I want to be rested so we can enjoy it all.” He looked towards the moon, then down at me, then towards the moon again before answering. “Yeah, give me a second to say goodbye to these folks.”  A slight tremor was felt through the boat at that same moment, but I thought I was the only one to notice it. We got out, dried ourselves off, and then proceeded to trudge our butts to bed. Right as we made it onto the hallway where our room was, another tremor shook the boat.
Finally, William took  notice and looked at me questioningly.  I was about to reply to him when yet again another crippling tremble shook the boat. It felt as if the world had turned sideways, and fast, like the way a compass changed positions. We tumbled to the side of the wall, and crashed into each other. Screams could be heard throughout the hallways, and pictures from the walls rained down on us. Will and I slowly got to our feet and stumbled our way to the balcony. I looked out onto the deck and saw water rushing out from the cabins below deck. From beside me I heard screams of young children and immediately reached around to feel for William. I felt his hand grasp mine and held on tighter as the boat shook to the right side again. One of the crewmen was lying on the ground beside us, gasping for air. “Keller, stay here.” William directed me as he sat me down next to the crewmen. I started to hyperventilate as he began to walk back towards our room. As he was walking away I tried to scream for him and tell him to stop, but I couldn’t form the words. I looked down frantically at the crewmen who was catching his breath again and sat him up. “Sir, what’s happening? What’s happening?!” I yelled at him as water flooded into the hallway and the lights went out. Terrible groaning noises escaped from the ships middle and I feared for my life. William was nowhere in sight and I was beyond worried, I wrung my hands together in a fretful manner. My right ring finger connected with my left and I noticed something was missing. My ring was gone. I started to cry then; over my ring, over the screams of pain, over the fact I was positive I was going to die, and finally, over the fact that I didn’t know if WIlliam was ever coming back. Over the screams, I heard the groaning becoming louder and louder, until something snapped. The boat flipped over to where I was face to face with the ceiling, and I too, began to scream.
From the distance, I heard William calling my name and relief spread throughout my body. I crawled on my hands and knees towards the sound of his voice and blindly grabbed whatever was around me. I came into contact with an arm and screamed, thinking it was detached, but lo and behold it was William. “Are you  alright? Where did you go? I was so worried!” I frantically screamed at him. He held me in his arms for a moment before pulling something out of his pocket. My ring! “William! You could have died going to get that I should----”  I was interrupted by the crew worker from earlier when he grabbed my shoulder. I spun around to see who was trying to get my attention and raised my eyebrows towards him. “Come on folks, we hit a rock formation and we’re going down! We need to evacuate immediately!” He yelled at us as blood oozed from a gash on his forehead. I let out a gasp and followed him to the outer deck, William in suit.
The wind whipped around us harshly, and water sloshed around our feet like a small child begging for attention. I ran through the dark lit hallways, while I tripped on debris and what I thought to be bodies. We arrived at the large crowd of people lowering themselves into lifeboats and the three of us pushed our way to the front of the crowd to help. Will immediately started to help people, his good nature kicked in at that moment and my eyes started to water. “What if I never see him again? What if we die tonight?” For the first time that night, I started to cry. I could not see through the mask of tears my eyes were letting escape from their ducts, and I cursed myself for showing such weakness. I stood to the side and attempted to calm some of the people down, and direct them to where their loved ones could be. Many of the passengers weren’t even forming coherent sentences, just mindless babbling about their personal belongings. A lady with fiery red hair came up to me and sobbed into my shoulder, asking me if I had seen her husband, I tried my hardest to tell her I did not know but she was persistent. “I know you’ve seen him! I know you have! Someone has had to have seen him, somebody help me!” She wailed on. I let out a sigh and thanked God that I still had Will. I looked over to William and the crewman, who were still ushering people into the final lifeboats. Time seemed to speed up, and before I knew it there was one boat left, and minimum spaces. Panic shot through my body and I decided it was time to go.  “Will! Come on! Let’s get in the lifeboats, come on!” I yelled over the wind and the sounds of screams of terror. He just looked at me and smiled, like everything was already okay, before he slipped my ring back onto my finger and helped me into the boat. I kept looking back and screaming, calling out his name, but he didn’t respond. He gingerly kissed my forehead and mumbled one last “I love you” into my ear before letting the boat go. As we were lowered into the water a light shone from the distance, as if it were a light at the end of the tunnel, and the sound of the waves hitting our boat drowned out my screams. He was just standing there as the boat sank further and further into the ocean, smiling and waving, without a care in the world. Thousands of emotions flooded my system, and I could feel myself getting dizzy. My world had ended with that last kiss. I knew I would never see William again.
I snapped myself out of my thought and looked up. I was still at the bar, drink in my hand, tears in my eyes. I wiped them away quickly before ordering another drink. “Bartender, give me a shot of your strongest whiskey, I need it right about now.” She slid the glass of thick amber liquid towards me, and I caught it skillfully. With one gulp, the drink was gone, now replaced by a familiar burn in the back of my throat. I look up at the TV screen for the fourth time that night, and wouldn’t you know it, they were still broadcasting about that stupid cruise ship. I tuned all my attention into what they were saying and let it take me away. “Here ladies and gentlemen, is first hand footage that was recently sent in from a survivor of the wreck.” I perked up my ears and let my eyes focus on the screen.
At first, you couldn’t see anything, it was all fuzz and static, until suddenly the picture snapped to life. The video was of a tall man and a slightly shorter man, helping people into lifeboats. That face, I knew that face. My heart immediately started to wrench in my chest as I recognized that familiar head of hair and charming bone structure. William, my sweet William, doing what he did best, helping people. Another tear, leaked from my ducts, and I smiled in bittersweet memory.
I had never heard from William again, nobody even found his body. We all assumed he had died that night because there was not even a small trace of him left. He was a ghost, gone like the wind it seemed. His kind eyes and loving smile haunted me every day, like the ghost he was. The TV screen started to flicker, like a candle in a windowsill, and then cut off.