Inside the Mind of Victoria Sanderson | Teen Ink

Inside the Mind of Victoria Sanderson

May 2, 2013
By SavanahWhite, Jackson, New Jersey
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SavanahWhite, Jackson, New Jersey
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Favorite Quote:
Why so serious? - the Joker


What goes on inside the mind of Victoria Sanderson? That’s like asking; what kind of milk do you put into your cereal. What goes on inside the mind of a psychopath? Are we really psychopaths? No, psycho’s just have a different way of thinking; a different point of view. What you think is wrong, they might not think it’s wrong. What they think is right; you might not have the same opinion. So what is it like being inside the mind of Victoria Sanderson? It’s funny you should ask, because you’re about to find out; because I am Victoria Sanderson.

I think I found a good one. A twenty-two-year-old named Shane. He seems Desirable. He caught my eye one day a few weeks ago. I just had to see if he was for real. It’s so hard to find Desirables these days. Shane has a twin brother, James. They don’t look alike what-so-ever; but I guess that’s why they call them fraternal twins. I’m not sure if James is Desirable or not. We shall see. But for right now, I’m going to make Shane mine.

A bar? Come on, this couldn’t be easier. I could laugh. I sat far away so I wouldn’t be too noticed. What would I say when I began talking to him? I’ve never been nervous like this before. He is so cute; I just don’t want to start embarrassing myself. Oh shut up Victoria. How can you be nervous? You’re Victoria Marie Sanderson. You’re like the modern Marilyn Monroe; except she had Undesirables. I’m not like that. I stood up, walked over and smiled.

“Well hi.” James smiled at me, taking notice.
Shane turned around and looked at me.

“Hi.” Shane smiled.
Shane’s greeting was different. I like him better.

“Hi, I’m Victoria. “ I smiled. Even some Desirables can be a little gullible.
I’m funny. Oh, shut up and focus you stupid b****. Don’t you call me stupid, mom! I hate you! I hate you too!

“I’m Shane,” Shane pulled me back to reality. “This is my brother, James.”
Time to test them.

“You two are just, so cute.” I put my hands together and smiled.
Who’s going to crack?

“You wanna come back to my place? We can have a lot of fun there.” James looked at me, his words were slurring.
He is drunk off his ass. What a loser. Alcohol is harmful. Doesn’t he know that? I knew he was Undesirable. Who makes comments like that to people? I could kill him. Focus Victoria! Shane, your new Desirable, is more important right now!

“You know, James, I find that really disrespectful. Women shouldn’t be used as sexual favors.” I spoke my wise words to James.

“I agree with you.” Shane said to me.
My eyes just lit up as I smiled at him. I have found the one. Oh my goodness, what’s happening to me? I’ve never been happy before. Is this what it feels like? I’m not familiar with it. I might like it, but I’m not comfortable with it just yet.

“Can I ask you something?” Why can’t I stop smiling? I don’t know, I guess I just like him.

“Sure, what?” Shane responded.

“My car broke down, and I’m scared to walk home in the dark.” I went into shy-mode.
Come on Shane, please.

“I can drive you home if you want.” He said it like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Well, I wish to go now, and it’s not far away, so you can come back and spend more time with, your, Undesirable, brother.”

Mentioning James made me want to vomit. I think I actually swallowed some bile. Gross! I hope Shane didn’t notice that! I could die from embarrassment!

“Oh, no problem.” Shane is being too kind.
I hope I don’t take that away from him. That trait is what makes him so special; kindness. I’m just thrilled by the thought. This is what mom always talked about. Noel didn’t believe anything our mom said. She was just so foolish. I’m sorry Noel. You were so stupid Noel! Trying to pull me away from the task mother gave me Noel! She didn’t trust you with it because you didn’t trust her, Noel! Why am I not glad I got rid of you? Why!

“You okay?” Shane pulled me back again.

“Oh I’m fine.” I smiled. “I was just thinking about something. It’s not important anymore.” I began frowning, thinking of Noel.

“Okay.” Was all he said, trying not to sound concerned.
We both started walking out, leaving James to barf, possibly choke on it, and die from lack of oxygen to his brain. One can dream right? Well, I tend to make my dreams come true a little too often. If only you could see me winking at you right now.
Shane starting saying stuff, but I wasn’t listening. I saw a pile of bricks. Yes! Shane got out his keys. I ran over, grabbed a brick, and hit him on the back of his head. He immediately fell to the tar black road unconscious.
As I was picking up Shane and putting him into the back seat, (I’m used to lifting male bodies now.) I saw something in the corner of my eye. James. He stood there at the door, looking very confused. He had a beer in his hand. Drunk, Off, His. Ass.

“Shane?” I could barely even hear him. He just managed to mumble the word, it was very slurred.
Just then, James just fainted onto the spot he was leaning on. He’ll have amnesia, and everything will be fine. I grabbed Shane’s car keys and hopped into the front seat while Shane lied down in the back. I’m sorry Shane, I just didn’t want you resisting. Sorry if I hit you too hard. I started driving through the night.
Around a half hour later, I noticed Shane was beginning to reach consciousness.

“Do you still believe in God?” I asked him in my dark tone of voice.
He didn’t answer me. His eyes shut and he fell back into unconsciousness. A few minutes later, we reached my house. My house was a cabin in the woods where no one else goes. Thanks Noel for the isolation you put me under. You gave me such a great hideout. That doesn’t mean I forgive you, I’m still angry about it.
I got out of the car and open the other car door so I could get Shane into the house. All he did was moan slightly in pain, but other than that, he didn’t make any effort to speak or move. He wasn’t in any shape to walk. I knew his mind was slipping in and out of consciousness, going from seeing what lies ahead than seeing nothing but black. I think he’s having a concussion. I’m sorry Shane, but it would’ve been too hard to drug you.
Shane finally comprehended what was happening and tried to fight me so he could get away. Easily, I grabbed his head, threatening to snap his neck.

“I don’t want to do this Shane. You are in no condition to be acting like this. Calm down, now.” I whispered into his ear, threatening him.
I didn’t like doing it, but he was leaving me no other option. I think he was beginning to black out again, so that was my chance to get him inside. Once I did, I put him onto the couch. I’m not stupid enough to leave him there. I got a long rope and threw it down the hole that was in the back of my living room. The hole basically, is a hole that was dug into the ground, going underground. It was a lot of dirt. It goes down pretty deep so I need a rope to climb down and up. It’s deep, like a well, so the Desirable I have down there doesn’t climb up. Aren’t I smart?
After I threw the rope down, I walked over and grabbed Shane. His head is bleeding! I immediately brought him down into the hole and made him lie down with no effort. I had some bandages, so I applied some pressure to stop the bleeding. I wrapped the bandages around his head. I don’t think he needs pain killers; he can live through a migraine. He just can’t fall asleep unless he wants to slip into a coma. I think after what happened to him, he won’t be getting sleep anytime soon. He’ll most likely lie here and cry and maybe start trying to climb out, which is very useless.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I said to him so he’ll relax a little.
I took the rope and climbed out of the hole, and yes I took the rope up with me. As I walked into the hallway to go into my room, I could’ve sworn I heard Shane crying. Overreaction much, it’s not like I’m going to kill him. He needs to lighten up, I mean, come on. I smiled to myself and walked into my room. I know you’re expecting my room to look really creepy and everything, but in my eyes, it looks very normal. I had a lot of purple. Purple bed sheets, purple walls, a purple rug. I also have a lot of stuffed animals to confide in. I’ve been doing that since I was a child. They’re also so cute. A lot of the clothes I owned were black. I’m not very fond of high heels because I hate blisters and the loud knock noise they make on the ground. I can’t stand it and it makes me so angry! Oh, I also have my diary. I’ve been writing in that silly thing since I was ten. That was an early eleventh birthday present. Noel gave it to me. Noel, I thought I could confide in you, but instead you kept me prisoner in this God Damn cabin in the woods! I thought Rob and mom got me angry, but in truth, you are the one who gets me angry! You pretended that you were doing something right, but it was wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! I can’t believe I trusted you. Oh, “They’re still human Tori,” and, “There’s no reason to kill them Tori.” You know what? I should be happy I got rid of you because all you did was frustrate me and lie to me. Why am I not happy I killed you? Why! Is it because you’re still my sister? I obviously didn’t love you because you obviously didn’t love me! You had no right keeping me away from killing those Undesirables. Remember what mom said, “The world must be ridded of them. “ Something was wrong in your head Noel, seriously.
I’m awfully tired now. After everything that happened, I deserve a good rest. Goodnight.

It is day two with my new Desirable. Oh what joy, we will have such fun! To be nice, I was making sure that he was eating. To make sure he was up for it, I took the rope and climbed down to check on him. At first, he was lying on the dirt ground, looking tired. All of a sudden, he tried to fight me so he could get away! I had a rag soaked in chloroform with me just in case he tried pulling that crap. I like thinking ahead; it came to good use for me. His eyes drooped and he fell to the ground like he was sleeping. I really lost my temper.

“I can’t believe you, you know what! You can say goodbye to food until you say you’re sorry! You hear me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I climbed out of the hole and I stayed true to my word.

Three days passed, and I checked up on him.

“Are you ready to apologize?” I asked from the top of the hole, I didn’t feel like going back down there.
He didn’t even respond, so I took that as a no. This is his fault!
I gave him a chance, and he just blew it into his own face. This is what mom called discipline. I only got the basement thing only one time. Noel got it twice, because she didn’t want to listen. One time I spilled my cup of milk on the table when I was ten, and my mom tied me to the leg of the table and began hitting me in my head a bunch of times, and she even had a whip and whipped my back. Noel, like the dumb girl she was, tried to get mom to stop, so of course mom had to discipline her too. Noel had done something wrong, so Noel got her head punched in and was thrown at the living room wall; serves her right.

Two weeks; two weeks have passed. Shane! I actually forgot I had him! I ran to the hole and looked for any sign of life. He didn’t look good. He looked like he was asleep, his lips were chapped and he looked thinner. What have I done! I got soup and water and climbed down.

“Shane, wake up, please.” I shook him a little, but he didn’t move. Oh no! “Please Shane!”
I took some of the water and put it onto my finger and rubbed it on his lips. His lips soaked it right up and became dry again.
I attempted to open his mouth and pour the water in, but he wasn’t swallowing; it just poured out of his mouth onto the ground. It’s like trying to care for a dead body. I checked his pulse. He had one, but it was very faint; like it will stop completely very soon. Oh what have I done? I began to cry, feeling like I was losing him. I don’t want to lose someone as great as Shane. He’s different from all the Desirables. I don’t know what I’m feeling, it is so unfamiliar. Every time I looked at him, I got butterflies in my stomach. My pulse began to race, and I felt so happy. What do they call that emotion? I have no idea, but I liked that feeling, and something pulsed through me. The thought of losing Shane was unbearable. If I lost him, I don’t know what I would do. I’m not going to let him die!

“Shane, please, wake up.” I whispered through my tears.
Shane’s eyes slowing opened halfway, looking like they were going to close again. I began giving him the water again, and he just let it flow down his throat. You could just see his body soaking up the fluids. I think he’s going to be okay. After he finished the water, I fed him the soup. He was accepting my help, to my surprise. I think he’s warming up to me. That makes me so happy. This reminds me of what happened to Noel when she turned thirteen. But that’s a story for another time.

Four weeks have passed. Right now, I’m waiting for my dealer to get here (I’m in town on a sidewalk). Cocaine, I’m not addicted, and I never will be obviously, it’s bad for you, but it’s something else to confide in when you’re sad and you want to escape reality for a little while. Everyone knows that. The guy walked by me and handed me the paper bag. He continued walking as if he didn’t even notice I was there. That’s smart.
I started to go walk to the bus stop, since I don’t own a car. You’re so stupid, I can’t drive Shane’s car! That’s a one-way ticket to jail, moron! I’m not that stupid! Suddenly, a cop walked up to me. Oh no, oh no, oh no! I’m caught with drugs, what I do!
“Hello miss, can I ask you some quick questions about a very important matter?” He looked at me.
Nice-mode, now!
“Oh why yes of course sir.” I smiled, acting sweet as a daisy. “What kind of questions?” Please don’t ask about the bag. Please don’t ask about the bag!
“A young man named Shane Griffin went missing a few weeks ago.” He handed me a picture. “Do you know him? Have you seen him?”
“Why no, I’ve never seen this handsome young man before.” I pretended to examine the picture of my Shane. “I’m not a suspect or anything right?” I joked.
If you people loved him so much, why didn’t you make sure someone like me didn’t take him? Some people are just so irresponsible.
“No, we are suspecting his brother right now. He claims he doesn’t remember anything about the night Shane went missing. Since we have no other leads, James Griffin is all we got right now.”
I wanted to laugh in the guy’s face so hard. It was difficult not to. The person who took him is right in your f*ing face dude! I wanted to shout it to the world and laugh in the cop’s face. They’re so stupid! I wasn’t expecting to frame James; that just happened all on its own. Wow, this is so perfect! I love it!
“Can I get your name?” He asked me.
“Victoria Sanderson.” “Thank you.”
“I sure do hope you find Shane. He looks so Desirable; it would be a shame if we are too late. Did you send out a search party?” I said looking upset. I’m good at this acting thing. I should’ve gone into acting.
“We just started one a week ago. The citizens, friends, family, they’re all out looking for him. You can join it if you want.”
“I’ll join right away, thank you for informing me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go on my lunch break.” Wow, I’m clever! I should receive a prize for best actress! I even have a prop!
“You have a good day.” He smiled at me, not suspecting me of anything at all.
“You too.” I smiled, walking off.
Okay, that was way too close. I’m so smart when it comes to making quick decisions.

Dusk fell and I was blasting the music on my iPod. It’s connected to an amplifier, so I can make it as loud as I want.

“Let me out of here!” Shane yelled. He has regained his health and strength for the time being.

“Do you still believe in God?” I shouted over the music. I made a funny joke.

“There is no God as long as I’m here!”
Oh the poor dear, he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He’s grown to like me; he’s just throwing a little tantrum. He just doesn’t understand yet. Shane just kept screaming for me to let him go. I turned the music up to drown him out. You mustn’t acknowledge people when they throw tantrums. He just kept screaming louder. I just turned the music up. I put on my dark red lipstick while singing along to my favorite song.

“I know you want me.” I said in my dark tone of voice.
It was a lyric to the song I was listening to. I puckered my lips as I enjoyed the sight of my full lips. They look perfect; really perfect. I could still faintly hear Shane in the background but I was no longer noticing it. I felt a fabulous sensation. I felt the urge to do something. I dragged my hand downward and moaned, feeling good. I felt a fabulous sensation throughout my body, and I didn’t want it to stop. I got an overwhelming sensation in my lower body. My mouth opened all the way, and my toes curled. My back arched, and it became so intense my moans became silent as my mouth remained open in a gasp. I strained my neck so I could lift it, and I made such an evil smile. I felt dark and evil. I liked it. As it ended, my body relaxed from the best feeling in the world, and I caught my breath. When I felt like I was able to walk again, I stood up in front of my camera. Taking humorous pictures of myself made me laugh. My skirt is short enough, my shirt is low enough, and my heels are high enough. I left the music on so Shane could be entertained while I was gone. I don’t want him to be bored for too long.

It must’ve been one in the morning, and the sidewalks were covered with hideous women, who thought they looked beautiful. Yeah, I could wipe away they’re beauty with Kleenex.
A car pulled up next to me. The young man looked like he was around twenty-five-years-old. I stared him down a little, like I do to everyone.
Undesirable, Undesirable.
The world needs to be ridded of them, my mom had said to me.
She’s right, they do.
Do it Victoria, I heard my mother’s taunting voice.
I walked up to the car window, and smiled as if I was friendly.
“You can hop right on in, honey.” He smiled at my lustfully.
Oh what a nasty animal to be put on this Earth.
“Oh, why thank you.” I replied, still smiling my ass off.
He’s naïve, just like all the others. They all have no sense of danger.
Once I got into the passenger seat, he floored it and we took off. He’s a maniac. How has he managed to live his disgusting life for so long? I’d be happy to take this one out.
“Excuse me, would you mind turning left here? I’d like it to be more private.” I turned to look at him.
What a waste of looks.
“The lake?” He smiled.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “That’s my favorite spot.”
“I like you.” He smiled while watching the road.
I fake laughed, than immediately rolled my eyes in the dark.
He turned left, than I took my perfect chance. I took my hand and slammed his head into the steering wheel. He screamed and groaned in pain, clutching his forehead. I turned the wheel so the moron wouldn’t get us into a crash, and I stopped the car once we were right by the lake.
“Get out of the car.” I said angrily, shoving him towards his door, opening it for him.
He fell to the ground, so I quickly got out and walked around the nose of the car, up to him. He stood to run, but I grabbed him by the back of his neck, squeezed it, and then pushed him back to the ground I punched him in the head with full force. I stood, than started kicking him. I kick really hard you know.
He actually dared to stand again, so I high kicked him in his jaw, and he fell back down. I began to circle him, slowly, like he was prey.
“Why were you out tonight?” I asked him, not playing around.
“I-I don’t know.” He managed to say, blood escaping his mouth. “I was just bored!” He cried.
“Well,” I said, pushing my right heel into his back, pressing real hard. He began to cry. “You just decided to go take advantage of women?”
I began looking forward, staring at nothing in particular.
“You know that’s wrong, right?”
“Yes, I know.” He was now crying his eyes out. “I’m just a guy. Guys just are just like that, you know?”
Okay, now he just sounds desperate. I pressed even harder, getting angry at that horrible lie.
“Guys are just like that!” I shouted, putting even more pressure into his spine.
I began hearing faint cracking sounds.
“Not Shane.” I said calming down; closing my eyes, smiling, fantasizing about Shane. “Oh no, not Shane. Believe it or not, Desirables exist.”
I took out my knife that glistened in the moonlight.
“But you, you Undesirables just keep, dirtying up the world, hiding them from us!”
I got angry and upset again.
“You crazy b****.” He choked out. He didn’t know who he was f*ing with. I put my heel deeper; I could see blood on his shirt. “I’m sorry! Please let me go! Please.”
“Oh no.” I laughed evilly. “You’re not going anywhere.” I began to whisper.
I took my heel out of his back and he immediately attempted to escape. Yeah, he didn’t get very far. I grabbed him, then I stabbed him in his back; the same spot my heel was in. I couldn’t imagine what pain I was putting him through; like I care.
On the ground again, I flipped him over so I could see his face. This enemy; not just mine, but the rest of the world.
“Please, please don’t.” He whispered, crying and trembling.
Feel sympathy, he’s a man. Just a man, Noel had said that one time.
“No!” I shouted.
Please, this is wrong, Noel had said to me.
“No!” I fought tears. “You’re a swine. “ I looked at the Undesirable.
I stabbed him in his gut.
“That’s just a wound you know. Someone can fix that.” I said to him, my eyes were wide.
He’s hurt; dying.
Let him live.
No, I thought. Let him die!
“But they can’t fix this!” I immediately stabbed him in his kidneys and in between his lungs. I twisted the blade for good measure. His eyes went wide, and then the life faded away.
You’re doing the right thing, my mom said to me.
I dumped his body into the lake, (of course I made sure it sank.) and went home.
I walked inside and turned the stereo off. Shane’s had enough of that.
I didn’t feel like feeding him so I just went to bed. I’m exhausted. I’m always exhausted these days.
Mommy, our mission is almost complete. Noel was wrong. We are cleansing the world. But mom, you didn’t have to be so mean about it.

I couldn’t sleep. I had nightmare after nightmare. Well, do they count as nightmares if they’re really memories?
I took the rope down into the hole and went to Shane. It looked like he was sleeping, but I wasn’t sure if I could trust him. I checked, and he was indeed sleeping; but not long after I went down there, he of course began to wake up. Prepared, I chloroformed him with my rag, gently, and he quickly fell back into unconsciousness. You want to know what he thought during all this. Of course you do, how could you not? I know you’re enjoying me, but please, go ahead and see what Shane had to say.

I felt really drowsy. She drugged me again, of course. I can’t blame her because I probably would’ve tried to fight her again. I accepted her help before because believe it or not, she was trying to help me. I was dying by her hand, yeah, but she regretted doing that. She helped me live by feeding me and hydrating me. How many psychopathic killers care about their victims? Not too many. Am I even really a victim?
My eyes fought to open. They wanted to fall shut again, but I wasn’t letting them. I heard Victoria’s voice. Is she talking to me or herself? I can’t really tell. I think she’s just venting.

“My mom thought her boyfriend was Desirable. He wasn’t, he wasn’t. He hurt Noel, and then he hurt me. I don’t know what I did to deserve so much pain.” She sounded like she was beginning to cry.
I know what she’s talking about. Her mother’s boyfriend sexually abused her and her sister.

“My mom was jealous of me. She didn’t like that Rob wanted me and Noel more than her. She called me a tramp and put me into the basement. The basement was a dungeon. You were chained and tortured. Undesirables were kept down there. This one guy was friends with Noel. He was our prisoner for months. I was down there for a week. I could barely take it. I couldn’t think of how he managed to stay there alive for months. I was only ten!”
She began crying even more. I actually feel really bad for her. That kind of life, at ten-years-old? That is just horrible.

“I keep telling myself to understand that Noel cared about me and she was just trying to look out for me. Even though she was only twelve, she loved me more than anyone ever had. And, not too long ago, I did something horrible to her.” She began shaking, still letting the tears fall. “She kept me prisoner here, not letting me leave. I needed to get out so I could do what my mom taught us to do. Noel said it wasn’t right, but she was wrong wasn’t she? I snuck out one night, and I saw you, Shane. I don’t know what I felt; I just knew that I wanted to be near you. I’ve never felt that way before. I talked to an F.B.I. agent, and told him everything. After that, I knew Noel would never let me fulfill my purpose. She would never let me leave this house. So I did the only thing I could do.”
She shook even harder, as if she was freezing. The anxiety took over her.

“I killed her.” She completely broke down and began sobbing.
I can’t believe I actually feel bad for her. She’s not a psychopath. Victoria Sanderson is just miserable. That’s all; miserable. She’s not crazy, she’s miserable. After everything she went through, I’d be surprised if she didn’t come out the way she did now.
But how can Victoria and Noel go through the exact same things, but come out so different in the end? They had the same past. Noel came out normal and smart. Victoria, well, she is smart, but she’s filled with so much anger. She was brainwashed as a kid, of course she thinks she doing the right thing; that’s what she was taught.
I crawled over and sat next to her. I did the proper thing for comfort, and hugged her. She cried onto my shoulder, just letting out all her pain and sadness. I shouldn’t feel bad for her. What she’s done to me, and what she’s doing with everyone else, has been horrific. But she’s a good person deep down. I know, because I have seen it here.
All of a sudden, she snapped back into the tough side.

“But I can never let you go.” She said getting angry.
She let go of me and took the rope back up, taking that with her, so I couldn’t climb up. I think I’ve accepted the fact that I might never get out of here.

I kept telling the cops I can’t remember much of anything from the night Shane was taken. I’m starting to think we’ll never find him. The cops have been keeping me in custody for the past couple of days, but they just have to let me go. I know I didn’t hurt my brother. I just know it. Why would I kill him? I have nothing against him. He’s my brother, and I love him. It really hurts that these guys don’t see that. They just see me as a suspect.

“Hi.” I saw a beautiful girl’s face, smiling at me in the bar.

“Shane?” I saw the girl putting Shane into his backseat. She knocked him unconscious. She took him.
Holy crap, I remember.

“Guys! Hey!” I gripped the bars, yelling for the damn guard to get over here.

“Keep it down over there!” The guard yelled at me.

“No, I have something to tell you! I know who took Shane, my brother! Please, I can help you!”

“What happened to you not remembering anything, boy?” The guard stood up and looked at me suspiciously.

“I know this makes me look bad, but please, I just remembered something. I witnessed her taking Shane! I saw her! I can describe her for you; I’ll do the best I can!” I pleaded like there was no tomorrow.
He decided to bring me into the F.B. I. office. They brought a sketch artist so I can describe the girl I saw.

“Is this her?” The cop asked me.
The blue eyes, the full dark lips, the long black hair, the exotic cheek bones, that’s her.

“Defiantly.” I said feeling no doubt.

“Do you know her name?” Another cop asked me.

“Hey, I know her.” Another cop stood up. He looked at the sketch of the pretty girl. “Her name is Victoria Sanderson. I talked to her out in town a few days ago.”

“Victoria Sanderson?” A young man in a nice suit walked in. He had green eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a handsome face. He looked young; no older than thirty. “If you want Miss Sanderson, I can get her.”

“Wait a minute, who are you?” One of the cops asked.

“I’m Detective Josh Butcher. I have evidence that Miss Sanderson is responsible for the hundreds of male disappearances that have been occurring over the years. You want her, I can get her.”
He looked so serious. Does he know Victoria? It seems like he has been tracking her for a while.
She’s not going to be easy to catch. Hopefully we’ll find her before she kills Shane. If she hasn’t killed him yet.

I had the T.V on as I brought in my laundry. The news was on; all the same pointless stories. They still don’t know I exist; I could laugh.

“The F.B.I would like to send an urgent message to everyone immediately.” The anchorman said to me through the television screen. “A young woman is suspected of abducting twenty-two-year-old Shane Griffin. She goes by the name Victoria Sanderson.”
I immediately turned my head and looked at the screen.

“Victoria Sanderson is a twenty-one-year-old, and a Maryland resident. She has long black hair, blue eyes, and is about 5’5; known to be armed and dangerous. There is evidence to support that Miss Sanderson is responsible for hundreds of male disappearances in this state alone. Police have found at an estimate of 155 bodies in the Deep Creek Lake. Only one has been identified.
“Twenty-three-year-old Noel Sanderson, sister of Victoria Sanderson, who went missing a week before Shane Griffin.”
A picture of Noel appeared on the screen, along with Shane’s. Oh Noel, I’m sorry, but you gave me no choice.

“If you see Miss Sanderson or Mr. Griffin, contact F.BI immediately.”
I turned the T.V off when they showed my picture.
I have managed to stay under the radar for years. Now all of a sudden I’m America’s Most Wanted? The way they talked about me; they made me look like I was a crazy criminal. I know it’s wrong, but it’s for a good reason! I’m not crazy! It’s the right thing, but it’s wrong. How else am I supposed to get rid of Undesirables? These people just don’t get it! Didn’t their parents teach them anything?
I can’t stay here.
I ran to the hole I was keeping Shane in.

“We need to get out of here.” I told him, trying not to panic. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of here soon.”
He didn’t say anything. He just lied on the ground.
The cops are going to come to my house. I put a hard covering over the hole, than the floor boards. They can’t find him now. I know who ratted me out; that Undesirable, James. Shane’s fraternal twin brother. He might’ve been drunk when he witnessed me taking Shane, but he should’ve had amnesia. He must’ve for a little while. I should’ve killed him when I had the chance! I just thought Shane was more important at the time!
In major rage, I grabbed my knife and left the house.

I don’t know how I managed to find him, but I did. Stupid cops, they don’t give their only witness protection?
I walked up to James, hiding the knife behind my back.

“Hi.” I smiled. I did the same thing when we first met.
He looked at me, than his eyes went wide, realizing who I was.
Before he could shout for help, I grabbed him and pulled him behind the bushes. I slammed his head against the ground twice, so he wouldn’t have the strength to fight back. Out of all my kills, this one I will defiantly not regret.
Not wasting my time with some stupid monologue, I immediately began cutting him slowly; dragging my blade down his face. I want him to go slow. Just as I was about to stab his eyes out, I began to hear sirens. I couldn’t stay to finish my job.

“You’re lucky this time you son-of-a-b****.” I whispered to his face.
I got off of him, and he clutched his head, in pain of the impact I put to it. I ran off while the police came to James’s aid.
When I got home, I hid in the woods because cops were outside my house.
Please tell me they didn’t find Shane, please, I thought.
Nope, but they found something else; my cocaine. Great, something else to charge me with. Why didn’t I get rid of that!
I heard them say I must’ve skipped town so they left.
I’m not leaving just yet.

I ran inside and pulled the floor boards off and the cover. Shane didn’t look to good.

“Hang in there Shane.” I said panicking a little.
I ran into my room, and started packing a bag. As I headed out into my living room, I heard my cat screech. I ran out, put my bag down on my couch, and looked for her.

“What happened?” I screamed, getting upset.

“Your cat fell down the hole!” Shane yelled. “I caught her, she’s fine, don’t worry!”

“I’m coming down to get her” I said quickly.

“No! If you come down here, I’ll kill your cat!” He yelled.

“No!” I screamed.

“And if you don’t let me go right now, I’ll kill the cat anyway!”
He sounded so angry. I never heard Shane yell like that.

“No, Please.” I began to cry.

“Let me go Victoria!” He screamed so loud spit was coming out of his mouth.

“No!” I screeched.
I began screaming, thrashing my arms around, and throwing stuff across the room, throwing things on the ground and crying.

“Victoria!” He shouted at me.

“No!” I continued my tantrum.

“Do it Victoria!” He sounded so angry.
I suddenly stopped. I began to think. My normal routine is boring now. Killing my Desirable would make it much more exciting. Sure it would be a loss, but there’s a lot more out there.

“Okay.” I said to Shane, smiling.
I grabbed my knife and the rope. I threw the rope down and told him to climb up. I helped by pulling the rope. I hid my knife when Shane reached the top.

“Please put my cat down.” I asked politely.
He did so, than I took my chance. I stabbed him in his bicep. His opposite arm swung, and he slapped me across my face. I pulled my knife out and punched him in his mouth. He immediately swung back, punching me in my nose. I tackled him to the ground and slammed his head onto the floor. He groaned in pain, but not for long. We gripped each other’s shoulders. I was pinning him there while he was trying to push me off so he could pin me down. He’s weak because of his malnourishment. He somehow found his will and flipped over so I was being pinned down. I’m smarter. I kneed him multiple times in his groin and I was able to put my hands around his throat. We ended rolling around the room, fighting, until we heard a voice.

We both turned our heads to see James. My instincts kicked in so I punched Shane, keeping him down, then I stood up.

“I thought you wanted to kill me, not Shane.” James looked into my eyes.

“I still do.” I replied in my dark tone of voice.
I picked up my knife that was by my foot, and I threw it at James. The knife landed in his gut. He gasped, his eyes went wide, and he fell to the floor on his right side, unconscious. I walked over and pulled the knife out.

“Undesirable.” I said, with venom spitting out of my mouth with disgust.

“No!” I heard Shane yell.
He tackled me back to the floor, throwing the knife from my hand. Blood was escaping his mouth, nose and arm. He regained his strength from his will power. I took my last bit of will and slammed my forehead against his. I got on top of him and began choking him.

“Victoria.” He choked, “You don’t have to kill me. Remember, you cared about me.”

“Shut up.” I said, tightening my grip.
He began gasping for air.

“It wasn’t about just me being desirable. You don’t have to kill me, because, deep down, you’re good, and you don’t want me to die. You’re better than that.”
Even though my grip loosened nearly all the way, he didn’t fight back. He just lied on the floor.
The only one who was kind to me like that was Noel. I killed her, but I didn’t want to. And now I’m going to do it again? Tears streamed down my face.
I jumped when I heard sirens. I looked ahead.

“They’re coming for me.” I whispered to myself. What am I doing?
I got off of Shane and curled up into the corner. I began crying my eyes out. I heard Shane stand up. An ambulance came in and got James. Shane and I were alone while the cops waited for Shane. I looked to my right and saw Shane looking at me with pity.

“Get out of here! Just leave me here!” I shouted at Shane, crying. It’s been a long time since I felt this scared.

“They’re going to kill me. They’re going to hurt me!” I cried.
All I could do was sob.

“What kind of life have you known Victoria? “ Shane asked me, not expecting an answer.

“I’m scared.” I cried to him.
I meant it. I really was scared. Surprisingly, Shane walked over and sat next to me.

“Shane, I’m guilty.” I said. “I’m guilty for not feeling guilty.”

“What are you talking about?” He asked me.

“I’m sorry that I’m not sorry.” I replied. “I’m not sorry that I took you, and I’m not sorry I killed those people, except for one.”

“Noel.” He answered.” “I wish I could’ve met her.”

“Why are you being so nice to me? I’m evil, and I hate it! I cried harder.” After everything I did, you had the right to kill me.”

“Somewhere deep down, you are a really good person.”
Those where his last words, and then he did something I did not expect him to do; he kissed me quickly then left. I heard him say hi to James as they lifted his injured body into the ambulance. I saw my knife a foot away. I picked it up. I had an idea. I lifted the knife and stabbed my gut. The pain was just too excruciating. Blood escaped from my mouth, and I attempted to recover from the bodily shock. I put on a sweatshirt that hung above my head on the counter, to hide the handle. The cops barged in, pointing their guns at me. Scared out of my mind, they lifted me up and slammed me against the wall. Since I was an emergency, they searched me, but they didn’t touch my stomach only my sides. Since I wasn’t putting up a fight and I was crying, they handcuffed me with my arms in the front, instead of the back.

“You’re hurting me.” I cried; the blade shifted a little, making me want to scream. They pushed me out, making me almost trip.

“Hey,” Shane said from my right as the ambulance drove away. “Go easy on her.”
They became slightly gentler, but not much. I think Shane spotted the handle under my shirt. He looked shocked. I then ripped the knife out, screaming as I did it, and started slashing the cops. I slit their throats, stabbed them in their heads, kidneys and both lungs. The last one I got in the heart. One of the cops had shot me in my shoulder, but I didn’t feel an exit wound.
The shot came from behind and ended at my shoulder, right under my collar bone. There was no exit wound, just a lump. I lifted my shirt and dug my knife in. I screamed and groaned as the bullet popped out and fell to the grass. All Shane did was look at me.

“You are one tough son-of-a-b****.” He said his eyes still wide.

“Look, I’ll leave you alone, I promise!” I told him, breathing heavily, catching my breath. “But, I can’t promise you that I’ll never kill again.”

“You don’t have to kill anyone.” He assured me.

“You don’t get it.” I told him. “This isn’t about Desirables and Undesirables anymore. I can’t stop. I want to, but I can’t.”

“Okay,” he accepted. “You should get out of here.”
I ran off, not knowing what was going to happen next for me. I truly don’t know why I did what I did. I guess it’s just because I’m, you know, evil.

One Week Later:

The scene I had set was truly horrifying. I personally found it amusing.
James walked inside and all the lights were off except one. His eyes fell on Shane; his arms and lets duct-taped to a chair, blind folded, and with my knife in his back. James thought Shane was dead.
The look on his face was priceless. I began laughing loudly as I hid in the darkness. He looked all around the room, wondering where my laugh came from.

“Where are you!” James screamed, putting his fists into the air.
My laugh became darker, and more evil. He walked slowly, being careful, trying not to run into me. His breathing was heavy and fast, filled with anxiety. He looked like he was really on his guard, but that does not make me feel intimidated. It’s just so funny! I began laughing again. He quickly took out his cell pone and dialed 911. Let him. He’s not going anywhere.

“9-11, what’s your emergency?” I heard a man say over the phone. I know that voice.

“Victoria, Victoria Sanderson is gonnna kill me.” He began to cry.
I immediately took the ax in my hand and slashed his head. I picked the phone up and put it to my ear.

“Joshie,” I smiled. “Long time no talk. I’m guessing you know what I’ve been up to lately.”

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