Tonight was just like any other in England, dark skies and cold air. It was mid-April, misty rain falling gently, covering the town in a damp cover. Wind was mild, but the air was icy, thick and foggy, and the amber glow of the street lights lit my path to the nursery. The only sound was the occasional car rushing past me as I made my way down the sidewalk. My legs grew heavy as I drew closer to the large stone building, the rest of the night would be full of checking charts and lab work. 

As I set foot inside the nursery, a wave of warm welcoming air surrounded me. I took off my coat and entered the baby's room. I quickly prepared for the long strenuous night ahead. Working the night shift was the worst. The nursery room always either loud and smelled strongly of disinfectant. Often times, I’m highly optimistic about working, but something felt off tonight.

“Mark won't be in today, he called in sick,” called a voice behind me Amelia was folding linens colored in soft blues and pinks.

 Mark was one of the doctors who worked with us, I always admired his work ethic and was surprised he didn't come in today

“Ah, well tonight won't be as busy as yesterday,” I reassured kindly. I picked up a paper chart and began ticking the endless boxes.

The usual questions, I monitored over the small infant, following the list. These were our check in papers, each child needed to be accounted for. Each hour, we had to make sure that no abnormalities occurred. As I approached the next crib in the long line, I noticed a blanket was placed over top. I quickly uncovered the infant, but soon realized that there was no child at all. What laid in front of my eyes was something I had never seen before, something I had only seen in movies. It was round, black, and made of metal with some sort of clock, counting down. In this moment I had the terrifying realization- what laid in front of me was a bomb. 

Just a few seconds ago, I had been watching over children. Babies. Life. A bomb was feet away, threatening its end. I was the only one that knew, I was the only one that could do anything to prevent the death of everyone in this building, including myself. I practically jumped when I heard Emilia shuffle over to her next patient, but i didn't break eye contact with the destructive device. 

“Bomb,” I stuttered out. 

“Sorry, what?” Emilia questioned, her smile fading slightly, 

“Bomb,” I repeated more clearly this time, panic clear in my shaking voice,  “there's a bomb in this crib”. I pointed to the crib that once held something so pure and now was being used to house a weapon. Emilia quickly made her way over to the source of my worry, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone and began to call the local police. 

“How may I help you?” a voice called from the other side of the device, a voice I had never wanted to hear. Hearing those words meant you or someone you loved was in a life threatening situation, or worse. Emilia began describing the situation to the operator, but I paid little attention to the call, as I was entranced by the round black shape, clock ticking down. It was in that moment that I realized that it was ticking down- 5:32, 5:31, 5:30. Seconds were being wasted. Seconds that would soon turn into minutes of time- my thoughts were cut off my Emilia handing me the phone.

“Here, talk, I’ll move them,” she said, quickly but carefully setting up the wheels on the carriages and removing the infants.

“Hello? Are you still with me?” The voice called from the other line, “we are sending the bomb squad to your location, they will arrive in approximately seventeen minutes”.

Not enough. We don't have enough time. The bomb would go off before then. We would be dead before then. My first instinct was to bolt. Get out. Get out of the building and just run, it didn't matter where too, just get out. 

“Hello? Ma’am?” the voice interrupted. 

“Yes, the bomb,” I continued, “there's only 5 minutes left”.

“Describe it, in detail, can you see wires of any kind? How large is the device?” the operator questioned. I tried my hardest to give the best description, but the more I talked the drier my mouth had become and the more time was being wasted, the more likely that everyone would die. I felt like these details were useless, how would this help the bomb squad get here sooner?

Unless she wanted me to defuse it. After this thought, I could feel my heart bursting out of my chest, as though it wanted to get out of this situation as much as I did. 

“I can't defuse a bomb, I'm a nurse, this isn't supposed to be happening to me, im supposed to be taking care of children, I'm not supposed to be here,” I unintentionally spewed out, the air around me seemed to start to thin, and fuzzy shapes started to replace the desks and bassientes scattered. 

“This isn't supposed to be happening, I'm not supposed to be here” Those words danced around my mind, it was the only thing I could think. I felt like the room began to spin, I felt like the air was fading away, I felt like the bomb was growing and the voice calling at me from the phone was echoing inside my mind. But I didn't know what it was saying.  

“Ma'am, I need you to focus,” the sentence had finally registered in my mind, but did it really matter? Yes, of course it mattered! The fate of children's lives were in my hands, balancing on whether or not I could get a grip on this situation. I could finally feel the world around me coming in, the faded shapes became clearer, and the air- I wasn't even thinking about the air, my brain power was centered and focussed on defusing this bomb and saving lives. 

“Hello, I’m here, how do I do it?” I asked. I had realized in this moment that I would rather die attempting to save lives than die because I waisted time worrying about dying. Life is to short to spend your time worrying about the inevitable, playing out the worst scenarios in your head. Action needs to be taken, especially in times like these, times where the only obstacle is time itself. If I had continued worrying and dreading the bomb, the bomb would have gone off taking me, Amelia, and the dozens of helpless children with it. However, in this situation it was a bomb, in others it will be a much smaller threat. For instance, a big exam or project, and when fulfilling these tasks, you will soon come to realize that worrying about it only takes away from the time you have.

As I wrapped up my speech, the students began with their end of the year exam, and I didn't see a single worried face throughout the day. . I refused to.