Bridges | Teen Ink

Bridges

April 4, 2019
By Anonymous

Author's note:

The characters in this book (such as Elliot and his mother) have mental issues, such as bipolar disorder, depression, and suicidal tendencies. Because of this, the characters moods change drastically from chapter to chapter. One day Elliot is happy, the next he feels like the world is turned against him. Elliot's mother is irritated and easily angered one day, and the following day she's cheerful and joyous. In this book, it may seem like my characters are unrealistic, but I purposely made their moods so erratic. As someone with mental health issues, I have experienced mood changes as quick as these characters have - on top of the world one minute then anxious the next. I apologize if anyone also struggling with mental health issues feels as if I made the characters unrealistic.

Elliot pushed open his front door, the immense odor of alcohol hitting his nose. Sighing, Elliot tiptoed over to his mother, who was sleeping out on the couch, an empty bottle of booze wrapped in her arms pressed against her chest. Without hesitation, Elliot picked up scattered bottles and bottle caps littering the living room.

I can’t do this anymore. Elliot hated coming home to his mother, passed out on the couch every day. He hated the pungent smell of alcohol infesting the house. Every day for the past five years of his life, Elliot had come home to his mother passed out on the couch. Every day was a living hell for Elliot, and he wasn’t sure just how much longer he could last.

The thought came to Elliot the same way it always does, infiltrating his thoughts and pestering him until he agreed to acknowledge it. No one would miss me if I died. I might as well kill myself. The thought refused to go away, and Elliot refused to fight the thought.

Elliot grabbed his phone, sending a quick and careless goodbye to his closest friend, Leo. Elliot walked to his front door, turning back to look at his mother one last time. He wondered when she would even notice he was missing. Elliot opened the front door, stepping outside.


Elliot leisurely looked over the edge of the bridge, the chilly, choppy, river wind nipping at him. The sea-green river rushed and whirled just below him, water pounding against the rocks in its way. Droplets of water sprung up in the air as water slammed against the rocks, occasionally reaching Elliot’s face and neck. Clusters of storm clouds shielded the sky above, engulfing the river’s surface in a mixture of grey and green tones. A bitter-sweet taste stayed with Elliot as he watched the rushing water.

“No better place than here,” he murmured. Rain poured heavily, soaking his clothes and skin.

Elliot sat on the railing, swinging his legs over to the opposite side, feet dangerously close to the edge. He leaned closer to the edge, taking in the waters view below him. The sound of footsteps running towards him became clear, and Elliot turned to see his friend Leo sprinting towards him. Elliot sighed, turning back to face the river, a small frown resting on his face.

“Elliot, stop.” The familiar voice of his best friend Leo rang in his ears. Elliot could sense the pain lacing Leo’s voice, but he ignored it.

“Leave me alone,” he whispered. Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him away from the edge.

“Please don’t do this.” Leo’s arms clung to Elliot’s waist, his face buried into his back. The feeling of his best friend clinging desperately to him made the feeling of hopelessness fade, a small pang of regret taking its place.

Elliot felt Leo moving behind him. Leo left the once warm and damp spot where his face resided exposed to the cold in its absence. Leo loosened his grip on Elliot, moving his arms up Elliot’s arms and to his shoulders. Leo carefully spun Elliot around, turning him so they faced each other.

“Please, Elliot, you will overcome whatever haze you’re in. I know you will. I’ve seen you do it before. Please.”

Elliot nodded his head somberly, then steadily maneuvered over the railing, once again sitting on the edge and lifting his legs, swinging them over to the opposite side of the railing.

He stood up, staring back at Leo before collapsing into Leo’s open arms. Leo returned the embrace, holding onto Elliot for dear life. Elliot wanted so badly to jump, but he knew now he wouldn’t be able to. Not with Leo here. The feeling of regret spread throughout his body. Leo poured all his love into the embrace, and neither boys wanted to let go.

They stood silently in the pouring rain until Leo broke the embrace, giving Elliot a small smile and placing a hand on Elliot’s face. “Let’s get you home.” Elliot moved one hand to his face, placing it over Leo’s.

“Let me take care of you.” Elliot moved his head, imitating a nod. With that, Leo wrapped an arm around his waist, tugging Elliot toward his car.

Elliot cautiously opened his front door, flinching as a loud creak echoed throughout the walls of the house. Swiftly, he slid through the small gap he had created, stepping into his house creating a space that allowed Leo to slip through. Leo entered the house, carefully shutting the door behind him.

Elliot exhaled. Maybe, just maybe his mother would be asleep. Just as the thought flashed through his mind, the living room light flickered on, revealing Elliot’s mother sitting on the couch.

“Aiden,” she nodded as she greeted her son, turning her head to Leo. “Leo, would you mind going to Aiden’s room while we talk?” Leo anxiously glanced at Elliot, who nodded his head in return. Leo murmured a quick yes before scurrying off to Elliot’s room.  As soon as Elliot’s mom heard the door click, she turned her gaze back to Elliot.

“Aiden, why did a police officer come to the house, claiming he got an anonymous call reporting you were trying to kill yourself?” Anger and alcohol laced her voice, and Elliot could see her refraining herself.

“Because, Mom, I tried to kill myself.”

“And why would you try that!” Elliot’s mom stood up suddenly, taking a step away from the battered couch and towards her son.

“I don’t know, Mom! Maybe because for the past five years of my life I’ve been paying the bills for this house. Maybe because I’ve come home to you passed out on the couch every single day since Dad left. Maybe because-” Elliot didn’t get to continue the discussion before his mother stormed over, towering over him with a menacing expression plastered on her face.

“You should be more grateful! I lied to that cop for you. I told that cop you were at your dad’s’ so he didn’t take you away to some nut house.” Elliot cowered under her glare, turning his face away from her in fear. Elliot’s mom paused before taking a step away from her son, creating a distance between the two.

“Go up to your room. We’ll continue this discussion tomorrow after your boyfriend leaves.” Elliot nodded his head, turning toward his room. He began speed walking down the hall, almost sprinting by the time he reached the door.

Elliot opened his door, greeted by the sight of Leo sitting on his bed, headphones over his ears. Leo had changed into an old t-shirt of Elliot's, the name of his old school was written in bold blue letters across Leos’ chest. Elliot also noted that Leo had changed into a pair of his sweatpants, a pair he didn’t recognize.

Elliot stepped into his room, walking towards his closet, opening the door and grabbing the first shirt he saw. He swiftly changed out of his damp shirt and into the dry graphic tee, looking down to see his school mascot staring back at him. Elliot shifted through his closet, quickly finding a pair of sweatpants and changing out of his damp jeans.

Elliot closed his closet, turning to face his bed before running over and jumping onto the bed, landing on Leo's’ arm.

“Hey,” Leo exclaimed, prying his arm out from under Elliot. Elliot smiled before rolling over, turning off his lamp. As Elliot settled into bed, a wave of tiredness washed over him, the events of the day finally taking its toll on his body. Elliot shut his eyes, letting the sleep take over his body.

“Goodnight, Elliot.”

“Goodnight Leo.”

Elliot scrunched his eyes. The rays of the sun seeping through his blinds weaseled their way through his closed eyelids, disturbing his sleep. Elliot reluctantly opened his eyes, blinking and adjusting to the light. Elliot sat up in his bed, kicking off his blanket as he stumbled out of bed.

Dragging his feet across the floor, Elliot slowly made his way across the room, opening his door and silently stepping out into the hall. He wandered into the kitchen, surprised by the sight of his mother hunched over a cup of coffee sitting at their island.

“Hello,” Elliot squeaked. His mother’s head snapped up, a smile immediately forming on her lips.

“Morning, Aiden. I was just about to cook eggs, do you want any?” Elliot’s mom rose suddenly from her seat, brushing past Elliot and speedily making her way to the fridge, taking out the eggs. Elliot stared blankly at his mother before nodding his head sheepishly. With that, his mother began the eggs, rambling off to her son as she worked.

“I wanted to apologize for last night. If you are truly depressed, I shouldn’t be yelling at you and instead, I should try to get you the help you need.” She paused briefly, going back to the fridge for more ingredients.

“I will try to become a better mother; I will get a job, pay the bills, and stop with the alcohol.” She turned to look at Elliot, smiling before returning to the food. She hummed a song, ignoring the conversation that just took place.

Elliot sat at the island, tapping his fingers on the countertop as he waited for his eggs. Within minutes, my mother placed a plate covered in scrambled eggs in front of him and another beside him.

Elliot’s mother turned, cleaning up her mess as Elliot took his first bite. The eggs tasted amazing, just like they had when she used to cook for him every day. He was surprised by both the fact she still knew how to cook and that they tasted so delicious. He continued to stuff his face with eggs as his mother finished cleaning up, grabbing her cup of coffee before turning again to face Elliot.

“I’ll be in my room if you need me,” she said, reaching for his hair and ruffing it up. She smiled once more before waltzing away, pausing at the doorway. Leo appeared suddenly, squeezing past Elliot’s mom to enter the kitchen.

“Good morning, Leo,” she said, waving and continuing to her room. Leo stared at the door briefly before taking a seat next to Elliot.

“She seems happier today,” he murmured, picking up his fork at stabbing at his eggs. “She’s bipolar,” Elliot managed through a mouth full of egg. Out of the corner of his eye, Elliot could make out Leo’s eyes widening, a meek oh escaping his lips. Elliot laughed, placing his fork on his plate and tuning to face Leo.

“Never seen someone during an episode?” Elliot asked, standing up. He picked up his plate, walking over to the sink and placing his plate gently in the sink. He turned to face Leo, who was shaking his head in response.

“I’m sorry, El. That must be hard to deal with.”

“It’s not that hard anymore. You get used to it after a while. Besides, back before she started drinking her episodes weren’t even that major. She could muster through them without hurting herself or others so I kind of learned to ignore it.”

Leo nodded, standing up and picking up his plate before walking over to the sink. Elliot moved to the side, allowing Leo to place his plate in the sink. Elliot walked back to the island, hopping up on the counter. Leo laughed, walking over to him and copying Elliot’s actions.

“Do you want to go camping this weekend,” Leo asked. “Get away from this place for just a weekend?” Elliot pondered his answer before nodding in response. Suddenly, Leo slid off the counter, turning to face Elliot.

“Okay then. I should get going, my parents are probably worried.” Elliot jumped off the counter, stepping towards Leo.

“Let me walk you out.” Leo nodded, and together the two walked to the front door. Elliot opened it, leaning against the door frame.

“See you Friday,” he yelled as Leo walked by him.


Elliot stuffed the last of his clothing into a duffle bag, struggling to sip the overflowing bag. He hoisted the duffle over his shoulders, waltzing into the living room and plopping down on the couch. Taking out his phone, Elliott began texting Leo. Where are you? He typed, sending the text. Elliot shut down the app, picking a random app as he scrolled mindlessly, passing the time.

Soon, a sudden knock at the door caught Elliot’s attention. He shut down his phone, standing up and throwing the bag over his shoulder.

“Mom,” he called out. “I’m leaving for the trip!” He waited for a few moments before shrugging and jogging to the door. Elliot opened the door, greeted by Leo leaning on the doorframe, smiling down at him.

“Ready for our trip,” he asked. Elliot nodded, stepping outside and shutting the door behind him.


“Elliot.” He felt a hand land on his arm, shaking him gently. Elliot groaned, burying into himself more.

“Elliot,” he heard again, this time Leo’s voice was slightly louder, sterner. Elliot groaned again, opening his eyes and blinking as he gathered his surroundings.

“We’re here,” Leo said. Elliot turned to look out his window, greeted by a forest filled with towering trees. Oranges and pinks painted the sky a pastel ombre, oranges and pinks infiltrating the sky. Elliot opened his door, stepping outside, the feeling of tall grass tickling his toes. Elliot stood for a few moments, admiring the surrounding nature.

“We should set up,” Leo started, catching Elliot’ attention. “It will get dark soon.” Elliot nodded, snatching his shoes from the car, and quickly pulled on his sneakers. He turned around, faced with Leo holding out a large bag standing behind him.

“Wanna help,” he asked. Elliot reached for the bag, taking in his hands and trotting over to a patch on the ground. Unzipping the bag, Elliot spilled the contents of the bag onto the ground.

“Okay,” Leo started. “Let’s do this!”

 

The campfire had long been set up, and the two boys were currently sitting at a campfire, sharing the same log. They sat in silence, Elliot admiring the nature around him. The sound of creatures surrounded them, making Eliot feel at peace. The sound of rustling trees also could be heard, swaying with the wind. Leo examined the boy sitting next to him, wrapped up in a blanket and his own thoughts.

“What do you want to do tomorrow,” Leo spoke suddenly, pulling Elliot out of his trance.

“I was thinking about going for a hike in the morning. After I’m finished we could check out the lake.” Leo nodded, pondering Elliot’s answer. He thought for a moment before smiling.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said confidently. Elliot smiled, and the two looked at each other, silence falling over them yet again. Elliot soon broke their gaze, standing up suddenly and adjusting his blanket.

“We should get to bed,” he suggested. Leo nodded, copying Elliot’s actions and standing up. Elliot started for the tent, unzipping the tent as he approached, crouching down and entering the tent. He fell onto their air mattress, immediately shutting his eyes.

Elliot felt as Leo laid down beside him, settling into bed. “Goodnight, Leo,” he whispered, sleep taking over his body.

“Goodnight, Elliot.”

Under the sunrise, the water glistened with a rosy gold tint. The river danced and spun as if it were alive and swaying to a beat. Clusters of light shone on the river, revealing its many hues and tints.

Elliot watched the river below him, admiring the scenery surrounding the bridge. He felt at peace this moment, closing his eyes and basking in the sun's rays. Memories of his last attempt flooded his thoughts, and he recalled the moment when he first arrived.

“No better place than here.” Elliot now disagreed with that statement. He was now in the right place, and it was the right time.

He didn’t feel irritated or miserable like he did a few days ago. He now felt tranquil and content.

Elliot ducked under the railing, reaching the edge. He focused on the sound of the rushing water below him, closing his eyes.

Then, he jumped.



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