Whenever Mom and Daddy fight, I go to another world. Not really. I just imagine it. Pretend. I go to my room and close my eyes and BAM! I’m in space, travelling endless miles per hour, and when I stop, I’m on another planet. I don’t know what planet it is, but it’s a lot like Earth. There are trees and there is grass. I have been there nine times, and I haven’t seen any people. Just a dog. He’s little, and a grayish blue color. I call him Kippy. Kippy is very nice and he doesn’t bite or anything. I get sad when I’m at home and Kippy isn’t with me, only stupid Myrtle. Myrtle is Mom’s stupid old cat. She ate my goldfish I got from the fair last year. Myrtle is old and ugly and old. She is black but her paws are white and dirty looking. Her fur is rough and she has a lot of bald spots. Myrtle hisses and claws at me when I am around her, and one time she scratched me real big on my arm. I cried and cried and Daddy said I should shut up and stop being a goddamned baby because I’m six years old for crissakes. This always gets Mom mad. She says that cursing is the Devil’s music and that it is not tolerated.
Mom and Daddy yell a lot. Mostly on Mondays, when Mom makes steak and potatoes for dinner. Daddy hates potatoes. No matter how Mom makes them, Daddy won’t eat them. Mom gets mad because he’s wasting food and she yells at him and Daddy bangs on the table and Myrtle hisses and it’s so much noise noise noise and I get up and go to my room and I go see Kippy.
One time I was playing fetch with Kippy and I was about to throw the stick again and I heard screaming. I was scared and I went back home and ran towards the noise and it was Mom. She had blood coming out of her mouth and her nose and her mouth and it was in her hand and she screamed and screamed and I screamed and Daddy had his fist in the air he was going to hit her he’s going to hit her. I picked up a fork and threw it at Daddy and he looked at me and his eyes were red and he hugged me and told me I was good for trying to help Mommy that I was a good boy but I can’t hug him can’t touch him. His breath smells bad and I think he has been drinking and that is why he hit Mom and I start crying like a baby and Daddy slaps me hard and tells me to shut the f*** up and that crying doesn’t get you anywhere in life and I stop and Mom is still screaming and Daddy starts yelling at her and there’s so much noise noise noise. She throws a teacup a knife a saucer all flying towards Daddy. Flying aiming hitting Daddy grinning with that drunk scary happy crazy look on his face. Fists flying like the saucers eyes closed I’m gone.

I’m still next to the table but nobody is here some man is shaking me and I slap his hand and scream and scream I try to bite him and he flinches and he says it’s okay he’s a policeman and his name is James Gallagher and I should not be afraid but I am I am. He has a big mustache and brown hair and brown eyes that look like mud or Myrtle’s poop but pretty mud or pretty Myrtle’s poop and I know I am going to be okay if James Gallagher protects me. He says that Daddy hit Mommy and that she is hurt very bad and he needs to know what happened and I tell him about the flying saucers and It and falling and he says Dave get over here this kid is gonna need to see a something. I don’t know the last word but it sounded like that cold medicine Mom takes theraflu but not the flu part I think it was therapee and a man with blonde hair and green eyes picks me up and I look at James Gallagher and James Gallagher says that the man holding me is called Michael Sidlin and that he’s okay and that I’ll be okay I’m going to therapee and I’ll be okay.

I’m eleven now. I’ve been seeing a man named Donald for five years and he is helping me because I have problems. That’s why when I get upset I disappear. Not for real. In my head. James Gallagher still talks to me. He visits me and Gramma. I live with her. Daddy got in big trouble because he hurt Mom really bad and she’s gone somewhere and I can’t see him anymore so now I live with Mom’s mom. I miss my parents a lot but I try not to think about them. When I first came to see Donald, he said that the reason I disappeared was because it was easier for me to cope with being something other than Mom and Daddy fighting all the time. It is Thursday, and Donald (who says I can call him Don if it makes me comfortable, which it does not) says that I should visit Daddy next Tuesday. The people at jail said that he’s been very good, and it’d be safe to see him because there will be guards and stuff. I say okay and I will see my father in exactly 5 days.

It is Tuesday and I am in the car with Donald. It is eight fifty two. I am pretty scared to see Daddy because it’s been a very long time and he might be mad at me for getting him in trouble. We get to the place and I go through a metal detector. I didn’t bring anything with me but they do it just in case. I go into this little room with chairs and windows and I sit in a chair facing a window and Daddy comes and sits in the chair on the other side of the window.
Daddy gestures to me to pick up and little phone and he picks up his and says, “Hey, Champ.” I look at him funny because my name isn’t Champ and I tell him this and he just laughs and laughs and I think about him hitting Mom and I hit the glass and scream and cry and tell him that he’s a jerk an asshole I tell him I hate him and I’m hurling insults, throwing them like the knives and teacups they’re flying like the saucers and the smile on his face is gone and I’m being lifted I’m floating being taken away by an officer I’m in a little room now and there’s a girl sitting in here and I stop crying and screaming because she’s smiling at me. She’s not making fun of me or laughing at me just smiling like she knows what I’m going through and I wipe my face on my shirt and now it’s covered in tears and snot and tears and she doesn’t flinch no she keeps smiling that pretty beautiful perfect amazing smile. She has a crooked tooth on the bottom but she doesn’t even care she just keeps smiling her pretty beautiful perfect amazing smile and I smile back.
She says, “My name is Judith,” and her voice is the same as her smile it’s pretty beautiful perfect amazing and so is her name and I tell her,
“My name is Andrew,” and she says that it is nice to meet me and I just keep on smiling and I barely know this girl but I think I love her.

I am thirteen now. Judith has been my girlfriend for exactly 1 year, 8 months, and 19 days. Today is Sunday. Judith and I and are going to the movies. We’re going to see Titanic. I’m very excited. The previews were good, and Judith jokes that I’m her Jack and she’s my Rose. I think this is very cute because even though I think they’re gonna die they love each other very much just like me and Judith.

I am seventeen now. Me and Judith have sex sometimes because the kids at school have sex but it doesn’t really matter. Judith and I are thinking about dropping out and moving somewhere together and having kids, but not yet. Maybe next month, around Halloween. Judith and I are supposed to be in school right now, but we decided to take the week off. Judith forged doctor’s notes and everything. We both have one of those week long stomach viruses. It’s Monday. I got my real driver’s license last week. I had waited a while to get it because I couldn’t afford to pay for the lessons with the pay I get working at McDonald’s, but my salary and Gramma’s money that she got from Pop Pop's life insurance is enough to get us by. Gramma lets me drive her Oldsmobile Delta 88 because today Judy and I were going to New York to see her grandparents. Tomorrow Judith and I are going on a tour of Judith’s cousin’s job. His name is Kyle and he works in the World Trade center. I’m very excited because Kyle says that his job is very important and he hasn’t told me yet what he does but I bet it’s great.

It is Tuesday. It’s 5:32. I woke up before my alarm because I was so excited to go to Kyle’s job. Judith is still sleeping, but I am not going to wake her up yet. Kyle says that we are leaving at seven thirty, and I can barely contain my excitement. I go downstairs to get some cereal but I don’t know where the bowls are and I’m looking in cabinets and there is a shelf full of saucers that look just like the ones that flew from Mom’s hand that night flying saucers saucers I get dizzy and I want to scream the pain the memories the pain pain but I can’t no Kippy can’t go no no Judith took me away from that I take deep breaths and find the cereal bowls and move along.

It is 8:39 am and we are at Kyle’s job. He works at the World Trade Center. There are so many people. We are on the 17th floor. Judith is scared of heights, but she tells me she thinks the city is beautiful when she looks out the window.

It is 8:45 and Judith and I are looking out the window and she keeps saying the city is beautiful and I tell her that she is beautiful and we kiss.

It is 8:47. Judith and I were kissing and we heard a loud noise and we looked out a window and there’s an airplane and it looks like it’s coming right at us and it’s so close so close I bet I could touch it touch the nose of the plane and it’s not stopping and

I don’t really remember what happened but I’m with Kippy and Judith and Mom so it’s all okay. I’ve been in this place for maybe a few months but I don’t know because time doesn’t seem to pass. It’s really cool. I thought we were in back in Connecticut at one point, because I saw Mom and Daddy’s old house, but I turned a corner a few weeks ago and I was standing in front of Disneyland. Last Thursday Gramma showed up. I was really excited. I had missed her a lot. I still don’t know where we are but Mom says it’s okay and that everything here is good and I don’t have to worry about Dad or planes or flying saucers.