Needing New York | Teen Ink

Needing New York MAG

January 27, 2011
By jward24895 SILVER, Montour Falls, New York
jward24895 SILVER, Montour Falls, New York
5 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.” -Stephen Hawking

I dress in dark colors. I see the world in shades of gray. In my life, there's bad and there's worse. There's no difference between unhappy and sad. Everything in my life is numb.

When I'm in New York City, all of that changes. Manhattan makes me feel alive. I not only feel blissful and captivated by my surroundings, I feel untouchable. When I step onto those cracked sidewalks, my waddle becomes a skip. The shining advertisements of Times Square mesmerize me. Not only can I see the colors, I can feel them. Gray is no longer part of my color palette. I am not blinded by the lights; I embrace the glory they reflect. The noise does not make my temples throb; it brings me peace. It helps me write and think. The cars and people, the sirens and construction, make up the soundtrack of my life. The scents of the city do not cause me to scrunch up my nose. I breathe better, smelling the salt and the smoke.

At home I spend my time alone. But in New York City, I am one billion people short of being alone. You can only spend so much time separate from life – your life and the lives of others. I feel comforted by all of the people, although I will never know them. I often wonder about them: Why are they in New York? What goes on in their lives? What brought them here? I create stories. I feel unique.

Unfortunately, I'm not there, walking along those busy, beautiful streets. Not yet. I'm stuck here, surrounded by green pastures in a small town. Why anyone would want this, I can't comprehend. So I sit here on my bed, alone with my dog. On my laptop we watch a live webcam of Manhattan all day and night. If I'm busy, I listen to the sounds of the city. If I'm bored, I stare with jealousy at the people walking the streets. The yellow taxis, the skyscrapers – why do they get to be there while I'm stuck here?

Sometimes we only notice bright colors in other places because our own world is lacking. Without New York City, my world will always be gray.

The author's comments:
New York City is my favorite place in the world. No cows, and loads of opportunity. Enjoy!

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This article has 4 comments.

lkk4209 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:18 pm
lkk4209 BRONZE, Somewhere, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"April Fool's Day is for amateurs. You never need an excuse to mess with people's heads."

"I may be lying in the gutter, but I'm staring up at the stars, honey."

I feel exactly the same! New York is MY city. When I'm not there, my world is just drab. I'm very unhappy. But when I'm in New York, everything changes. I feel like it's the place where I belong, rather than my painfully boring suburban town. It's really affirming to see somebody else feels the same way!

Shweta said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 6:58 am
I loved the way this article is been written, every word comes alive in front of my eyes. 

Vespa PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 31 2011 at 11:26 pm
Vespa PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
21 articles 4 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.
~Leonardo Da Vinci

I'm so glad that there is someone else out there who feels this way for a city. I used to live in Tokyo, and I absolutely adored how the lights never went off, the people never completely disappeared, and there was always a helicopter or ambulance creating a harmony to the traffic noise. There was a coffee shop I loved to sit in on the upper floor and just look out over an intersection and watch the flow of humanity as they went about their lives. Sometimes I would make up stories for the more interesting people there, giving them complicated relationships, background stories, jobs (or lack thereof), and a destination.

Then my parents moved me to the suburbs of a "city," with fresh air and trees towering over everything. I don't think I have ever hated anything more than this place in my - albeit short - life. You need a car to get anywhere interesting, there are no skyscrapers, the streets are almost always deserted, and it rains all the time. I've watched as they settle into this supposed paradise, and I've sat in my room and cried for what I had and lost. My whole world seems to have been consumed by green, and all I want are the yellows of thousands of lights breaking the city's night, the gray of streets, and the rainbow of humanity as it flows in rivers through the streets.

This summer I'm going to New York City for the first time in my life, and part of me is terrified because for a week I'll have a city, and then it will be gone again. But the majority of myself is elated, because even if it is just for a week, New York will remind me that not everything is consumed by green. It will remind me that I wasn't imagining Tokyo in all its glory.

on Mar. 9 2011 at 1:52 pm
Jennifer_Krasinski BRONZE, Decatur, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts if you do it right; you can cry when you get older.

 I feel the exact same way, I live far away from New York, but I go once a year, because a relative lives there. I seem to come alive, and I love it.