What is love any way? Most people say “when you can’t live without them and your heart stops when they walk in the room”.  I do believe in that sometimes, but what do you call it when you saw them, and without words, you knew that there was something special about them and now 4 years later ,2 of which you really felt something strong for them,  you are still chasing the same dream with a end so far out of sight you wonder if it is even there? All my friends think I am in love but how could I be in love when I am only 13 and have never had a real conversation with him? What is it?

4th grade was almost the start. He was the new kid but not in my class. I was standing in line to get in class and I see him, on the other side of the hall, and from the moment on, I was never the same. Why has it been 2 years and not 4? Well for most kids growing up there was this girl code that you could not like the same person as your friend. So my best friend, not knowing I liked him, said that she liked him. Since she said it first, I could not like him, bummer.  So all the way to the end of 5th grade, my 2 bestfriends, who were not friends, were off and on with these 2 boys, one of which I liked previously but did not admit that I liked him anymore. By time 6th grade came around, I was done with those friends and the girl codes, it was my turn. I started liking him for real and told my friends. He was in my gym class so I saw him once a day. He probably liked me based on how he would act but my stupid shy little butt did not talk to him.

Here comes the fun part, 7th grade. By this time no one knew what was going on between me and him. We had no classes and never talked. I don’t know why I still like him but I can’t stop. My friends who ride his bus have asked if he liked me multiple times, he has never said yes, but he has also never said no. He will either say “I don't know” or “I don't like anyone right now” or he simply does not answer. He confuses me so much, he knows I like him , his friends have said he likes me, but they are the type to lie about those things. If he liked me he probably would have talked to me by now, but if he is like me, he is shy, and I know that he is. But I feel like there should be something more than just passing each other in the hall, because as of right now, that is our relationship statues, hall passers, but is it love?