Stereotypes are how a person generalizes an entire group based on one experience. They exist because of the way society has been brainwashed to perceive people who are different from themselves. But society never takes in account how stereotypes could be affecting the people having labels pushed onto them. If the people who believe that there are no stereotypes against those who are different or aren't aware of them were to take a closer look at the interactions around them, they would see how commonly and casually they are thrown around. Specifically, Indian-Americans do not only have stereotypes in America where we are minorities, but in India where we are seen as outsiders.
   

As Indian-Americans, we try our best to fit into American society to avoid the risk of being stereotyped. Having an Indian home life while having an American school and social life, we feel the pressure of keeping alive the culture while learning a different culture; Indian-Americans have to find the perfect balance of conformity: the balance between having an Indian culture to please the parents while being up-to-date with American culture in order to fit in. Indian-Americans get judged for what they eat and what they wear because it’s different from what Americans see on a daily basis. I convinced my parents at a very young age that I did not want to bring any Indian food, like dhebra, to school because kids bullied other Indians for bringing their “smelly bread.” I also dragged my mom to the mall to buy me the glittery skirts and expensive UGG boots I saw the popular girls in my class wearing. I didn’t know that I was trying to become an American at the time, but now I realize that I was trying to get rid of the Indian in me in order to fit in with the kids at school.

In high school, the new stereotype has become that every Indian-American is intelligent and is expected to ace all their honor classes. The pressure goes to some students while other high-achievers are the reason the stereotype exists. Though there is evidence that Indian-Americans have a high college acceptance rate, the stereotype comes from the expectations Indian parents have for their children. Indian-American teenagers have the weight of getting the perfect grade and getting into the best colleges. But parents don’t realize that their children are also expected by their American school to participate in extracurricular activities, schools sports, and have a social life to improve social skills. My parents refused to put me in sports as a child because they believed it would make me stray from learning and wanting to succeed. It wasn’t until I was old enough to know what I wanted that I convinced them to let me start up martial arts, dance, and gymnastics. Indian parents expect their Indian-American children to only focus on school in order to get a well paying job while American schools expect their Indian-American students to focus on multiple things to become a well rounded human being. Native Indians see Indian-Americans participating in anything outside of school as lazy, undetermined people who have no hope in life. The Indian-Americans who are as much Indian as they are American grow up to become diverse people because they have to learn to not let the stereotypes get in between their growth as people.
   

But Indian-Americans aren’t at home in India either. Strangers on the street can recognize us in a matter of seconds because of the clothes we’re wearing and the discomfort we walk with while passing through the busy city.  Family members will judge how we don’t know anything about our culture or how little we care about our education. Even in a place where I should feel completely vulnerable and safe, I was far from being comfortable in my own skin as if I had forgotten who and where I was. My heart was racing a mile an hour as I made my way across the field where a wedding was being held. I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes in fear of some how revealing the anxiety and homesickness I felt. But I could feel my grandmother’s eyes judging me as my mind took me back to America for some kind of familiarity to calm me down. My family didn’t care that we were connected through blood; they cared about my foreign American accent and how I hid behind my mother with my head down and my hands close to my heart when we went to my grandparents’ village. But all I could do was stare at the floor hoping to escape. But they don’t realize what Indian-Americans have to do to make their parents proud while trying to make themselves happy.

Alongside the label “undetermined,” Native Indians also label Indian-Americans as “uncultured.” There are many Indian-Americans who don’t know their native language or anything about their culture, but the majority of us give an effort to retain that part of ourselves. Many people in India expect that I don’t understand anything that comes out of their mouths. As I quickly ate dinner and hoped I could go upstairs soon to get away from the awkward silence, my family members would start talking about how “rebellious” I am in my native language. They had no idea I understood as they continued to claim that I would make it nowhere in life with my lack of motivation or perseverance. It wasn’t until the last day of my trip in India when my family realized that I knew of all their gossip, and they tried tried to redeem themselves by saying they were messing around. Some Indian-Americans go through life never realizing that they have lost a part of themselves because they were brainwashed by American society. Yet there are still many of us hold onto our culture and make it a big part of who we are. My parents immersed me into my culture so I would never forget it, and hopefully one day I would be able to pass along the culture. I learned my native language before English, I learned Bharatnatyam before ballet, I learned how to wear a chaniya choli before a ball gown. The stereotyping of Indian-Americans in India is less harmful to the Indian-Americans because they don’t have to hear them so often, but it is more emotionally painful to hear because it usually comes from someone who was trusted. As someone who devotes a lot of time for my culture, I see trusted members of family who doubt my allegiance to my culture as traitors for not being on my side before they even hear my side of the story.
   

Stereotypes can cause the loss of culture in people or an increase in drive to prove stereotypes wrong. The typical stereotypes of Indians such as the accent don’t bother me as much because I have become so accustomed to it, but the stereotypes that come from expectations have changed how I grow as a person. I have always felt forced to be the best at everything due to these expectations which leads to a very stressful life of trying to please everyone. Expectations of how an Indian-American should act come from not only America but from India too which makes the conforming to the expectations hard because they contradict. American stereotypes of Indian-Americans as intelligent, cultured people goes against Indian stereotypes of Indian-Americans being lazy and uncultured kids. Indian-Americans are paradoxes of two societies that are trying to make the perfect human being. But the stress of the stereotypes and expectations can make an Indian-American want to choose a side to make life simple. These people lose an entire culture that connects them with not only their family, but other people who might come into their life. They lose the awareness of having the best of both worlds. The outcome of an Indian-American is based off of which brainwashed society they want to listen to.
   

Stereotypes are so common in our society that we don’t even notice it when we use them. I’ve stereotyped people on first impressions and appearances before, but I understand now that the stereotypes I used were based off of another singular experience I had in the past. Admitting to following stereotypes and learning that they should be eliminated is morally better than denying that stereotypes don’t exist because they are true. A society can change if they attempt to understand the daily struggles of a stereotyped person and try to stop the stereotyping of all ethnicities. Stereotypes are harmful to all ethnicities and can be stopped if society strives for acceptance and tolerance, instead of discrimination.