We lived in an ordinary house, with ordinary lives. My family consisted of my dad, my mom, my brother, my sister, and I. As I said, ordinary. We grew up every morning knowing how our day was going to be, how it was going to be planned out. We lived our lives without any surprises, going along the general outline of how a life should be lived.

When I was young, my mom taught me how to make tea: brew it on the stove and then add sugar. That was the way we drank our tea and that was the way it always had been. Years passed, I indulged many cups of tea with sugar. I never thought and never went looking for any other way. Until, one day, I had a taste of tea with milk. It was different, and at first I felt strange for liking something different. I kept it a secret. If I felt so strange, how would my parents feel about their own daughter liking tea… with milk?! Would they feel ashamed that I had betrayed family traditions and drank my tea with milk? After all, they had taught me that tea with sugar was the only way I could have my tea. “Tea and sugar, sugar and tea. That’s the only way it can truly be” was my mom’s motto.

However, as I frequently began to make my tea with milk, I met others who did the same. We engaged in conversations and what they said made me think: “Why would they shun you for liking tea with milk? It’s who you are, it’s how you should be accepted.” With those words in my head, I went home and decided to confront my parents. As expected, my dad being a little more open-minded said “As least you can’t get diabetes!” My mom on the other-hand, freaked. Accusations of me being this way because it was the “in” thing were thrown; All of a sudden I had become a failure in school because of one bad grade. My mother blamed everything and everyone. There was so much blame being thrown everywhere that I even expected her to blame Raven Symone who had just recently come out that she liked her tea with milk!

I didn’t understand. There were other tea with milk drinkers, popular and successful ones. Take Ellen DeGeneres for example. Successful actress and TV host. She could have her tea with milk, why couldn’t I? 

Sitting writing this I think, why was my mom so opposed to my preference of tea with milk over tea with sugar? I’ve come to the conclusion that it is in the same way that she was opposed to my sexuality. Then I think of all the other parents who want their kids to grow up drinking tea with sugar, not drinking tea with milk. How unfair is it for people to tell you what you can and cannot drink? Imagine growing up in a home, in a city, in a country where only those were drink their tea with sugar are accepted. Feeling left out, feeling guilty that you did not like tea with sugar, or you preferred it some other way.

Everyone has their own cup of tea. People can enjoy their tea with many different flavors, one flavor, no flavor, or they might not enjoy tea at all. Tea, like sexuality, is not meant to be the exact same for every person. Yes, there are similarities and a great overall preference, but people should not be shunned, as I was, for liking their tea a different way, or for liking girls and boys. It’s not a preference that can be controlled. Being different and judged for who you are is not a path anyone would willingly take. So, if I was only liking girls because it was so-called “in,” why would I choose to put myself in that unnecessary pain?

If we’ve come to the point in our society where we are judged by whether we like our tea with sugar, milk, or without any flavor, then we as a society, have failed.