I was born and raised in Suffolk, Virginia; homeschooled the majority of my life, and I had the perfect family. I was so happy, but I found that as easily as my happiness came, sadness and destruction would be just as easy. I had always known that my parents weren’t always on the same terms, but I figured it wasn’t anything that they couldn’t heal through discussion.

My family was always very religious and my mother devoted a lot of her energy towards biblical interpretations. This included dreams, visions, even things like hearing stuff and feeling something like pain. Well, I had this dream about my father, and he was with a lady that wasn’t really dressed properly. I woke up confused and scared because I never had seen my father with someone that basically sold her body. I immediately told my mother and she told me not to worry, but she just didn’t tell me the truth of the dream because of how young I was.

About 6 months later, I woke up from another dream concerning my father. He was with two women: one looked like my mother, and another the I had never met. I knew that my father was in a relationship with the other lady as well and it scared me. I saw that my mother confronted him about the other lady and he denied it, until she found evidence which he could no longer deny. The dream ended with them getting divorced and my mother getting very emotionally scarred.

I told my mom this dream and she never really told me what it meant at the time—she brushed it off again. Later that night, however, she shut their bedroom door and talked to my father. I was a curious 8-year old girl and snuck to their door and listened. I heard her telling him about my dreams and how she knew he had a problem with cheating, and that she wanted to know if he was still cheating on her so they could resolve it and get stronger in their relationship again. Just as I dreamed, my father denied everything.

A few days later, my father was downstairs making his breakfast and left his phone upstairs in the closet where he normally kept it. My mother heard his text message buzz multiple times so she checked it, and when she did, our lives changed completely. I won’t go into detail about what exactly those text messages said, but it was the evidence that my dad was cheating on my mom. She immediately confronted him and he didn’t deny it; rather he got angry.

After that, the arguments were severe. Every night, they would argue like it was a planned event that they would prepare for. Each time, my brother and I would stay in my room and try to occupy ourselves and ignore the terrifying yelling that would erupt from the boiling emotions downstairs. Most nights, I would just lie on my bed and cry, hoping that it would exhaust me and I would fall asleep so I didn’t have to hear it anymore. One day, however, something happened that I think not even my mom expected to happen.

This time, they were arguing in their room, and my mom was leaving to walk downstairs and sit in the living room to cool down. At the foot of the stairs, she said she heard either my brother or me tell her to watch out, even though that wasn’t the case. She immediately dropped down and if she hadn’t, my father would’ve pushed her down the staircase which would’ve killed her. He ended up picking her up and dragging her into the middle of our upstairs game room where he began punching her. My brother was the first to run in there and try to stop him.

I had no idea what to do. There were so many emotions within me that I don’t know how to explain, but I know the main feeling was fear. I was terrified that he would kill her, but it eventually stopped. My mom, brother, and I hid in her office while my father threw things, including our TV at the wall. He stormed out of the house after yelling at my brother that he hated him, which really hurt him for a few years, and we called the police.
Now, my parents are mutually respectful to one another, but they will never quite be able to put the events behind them. My mom says we moved to another state because they had better schools for my brother and me, but I know the real reason was because she feared my father. My brother and I have a relationship with my father now, and he always apologizes for what happened, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be completely comfortable around him again. After this, family has become one of the most important things to me, that and independence. I don’t want to have to be completely dependent on another, ever.