All I thought to myself was why? Why me? I felt hopeless I wanted to help but I couldn't, my mom tried to help me through it but I didn't want any. That was my first mistake, second was my anger, it consumed me and my emotions mixed all together. It started out as a normal exiting day and turned into a tragic day that will forever be remembered.

It was the end of the day and my dad was picking me up I was so excited because my aunt was having a baby!  When I first saw my dad he didn't look too happy his eyes were red and he was trying to smile but you can tell something was wrong. I ran up to him and asked ¨Did the baby come?¨, ¨Did the baby come?¨ He didn't answer right away it seemed like he was thinking  until he said we will talk when we get home. My excitement slowly startes to dissapear and I was very confused. As we drove home the car ride was silent and there was not a single sound I could even my own heart beat.  As we got closer to home my heart started race, I kept on asking if the baby came but there was no answer. I was like a dog with its food.  I keep on nagging and nagging and eventually I got tired of asking.

So I stop and my mind raced with question with no answers.

The car stopped and we were finally home I went to my room to start my homework when my dad called me into the kitchen he told me to sit down. I asked again ¨Did the Baby come¨
And he said “That's what I wanted to talk to you about.”

It was silent for what felt like forever and my dad's eyes swelled up and tears droped from his eyes. I was holding my breath till the first word came out but I couldn't wait. All those thoughts in my head swirling around I could take it.

I said ¨What happened¨

He said, in a low voice ¨The baby didn't make it she passed away¨ I didn't know how to feel all these emotions, anger, sadness all mixed together my dad tried to comfort me but I didn't accept it I thought I could deal with it on my own but I couldn’t, I truley thought I could. I called my mom and she picked me up I never felt so hopeless in my life I couldn't breath. Why did this happen, why to her? I tried to carch my breath but I couldn't. My mom talked to me but I wasn't listening. All I could think about was my aunt and her daughter and how she wouldn't be able to understand the thought of her new sister not coming home and her asking the question of why she not coming home.

I stayed in my room all day not being able to come out. I was lost in my thoughts and I couldn't get out. I thought that I could never recover from this, I thought that was it there was no other way out I didn't know what to do, that was all that I thought to myself. Then I realized, why am I here crying on my own it shouldn't be like this. That's when my mom came in my room and said we had to talk, she said something that I will never forget.
“It's okay to cry and it's okay to be sad but you should never be sad on your own, it will pass and we will recover. Everything happens for a reason we may not realize it now but it will be okay and it's okay to have help getting through it. It's like a storm the thunder and rain maybe scary but after, there is a whole new world.¨ Those words will always stay with me and that's when I realized that help is not a bad thing and I should accept help it instead of pushing away.

My mom was right, everything worked out in the end. Now my aunt has a cute new baby boy named Colton. The whole family loves him and I realize not everything has to be dealt on its own. Pain does not last forever.  When someone in the family sees a  pink sunset, we think of Olivia and her watching over us. On that special day of June 10th, we will always remember our beautiful little angel.