I was a lonely child, never fitting in in any of the clicks or groups. Every lonely child has something they use to cope with the emptiness they feel inside. For me there were many things that would comfort me on those days that I felt  alone. However, there was one object that was special: my stuffed wolf. I acquired it during my family’s annual trip to the Lehigh Valley Zoo. I was seven-years-old at the time, and when I learned that the zoo had a new grey wolf exhibit, I had to see it. I remember staring at the majestic grey wolf pack and the wolves staring back with sharp eyes that could cut steel. Once I was there for a minute or two, they grouped together and started to wail out a mighty howl that echoed for miles. I was stunned and immediately fell in love with wolves. I realized how they loved each other no matter what and always stayed together. I guess I saw something in the wolves’ lives that I lacked in my own life. 

We walked around the zoo for a bit more to see the other animals, but all I could think of was that pack of wolves. Occasionally in the distance I would hear their mighty howls. When we made our way to the gift shop, I walked around the store a bit, relentlessly searching for something to remind me of the wolves. After a few minutes of digging around racks, I found it: a light grey wolf with a white under bottom and black bead eyes that stared back at me. Slowly, I walked up to it and glanced into its eyes. I could see my reflection in its shiny bead eyes. After a few minutes of nagging my parents, they caved in and bought the wolf for me. I named it Akamaru. The name came from a show I use to watch in which one of the characters had a dog companion named Akamaru.

Akamura provided a lot of comfort for me when my childhood friend Travis moved onto intermediate school, while I remained in elementary school because I was a grade behind him.  Travis got new friends, while I didn’t know how to make new ones. I started to look to this stuffed animal as a source of friendship. After a while I obtained other stuffed wolves or huskies to form a “pack” of friends. My friends gave me the strength to carry on to the point where I matured and  gained enough self-confidence to find true friends of my own. Now, every time I look into the black beady eyes of Akamaru, I reflect upon this special “pack” and how they helped me through a rough patch in my life.