One particularly warm cloudy day, I had just finished my first baseball game, and we won.  I headed home with my mom, and we were discussing the game.  I had the biggest smile on my face; however, for some reason I saw that my mom wasn’t so happy.  When I arrived home, I took a nice warm shower.  When I was done, my mom reported, “Pack some clothes because we are staying in Lydia’s camper.”  Lydia is my aunt, who lived down the road from us.  When we arrived there, my grandma and Lydia were there.  It was quiet, and I knew something was wrong; but I did not say anything.  I was watching some good old Spongebob, but then my mom turned the tv off and stated, “Jay, we need to talk.”  My stomach started to hurt; and I started to get hot.  Then my mom sighed, “Jay, your dad was in a car accident.“ She paused. ”And he did not make it.”  That is when everything changed, and I lost a dad, whom I loved.

Prior to the accident years earlier, my mom and dad split up when I was five. Every other weekend I would stay at his house, and every Thursday after school I would stay at his house for the day.  One Thursday, he said that he couldn’t make it, so I couldn’t be with him that day.  That next weekend, he said that he had to work all weekend, so he couldn’t come pick me up.  The next Thursday it happened again.  I was sad.  My grandma called my mom, and she said that my dad’s car was at his house.  My mom was really mad because he lied to me.  My dad stopped talking to me and stopped picking me up on Fridays.  I was crushed, and I asked my mom, “Why isn’t my dad talking to me, and why doesn’t he want to see me?  Does he hate me?”  I hadn’t seen or spoken to my dad for a whole year.  My mom always told me, “Your dad loves you so much, and he is just not thinking right.  He will put his head on straight and come back for you.”  It is too late now.  I will never be able to talk or see my dad again.

After my mom told me about the accident, I had this blank look on my face; then I started crying.  I couldn’t stop crying; it felt like I was crying for hours.  My mom and grandma started crying, too.  After I finished crying, I asked my mom what happened.  My mom reported, “He was coming home from a bar, and he was drunk driving.  He was on a little bridge and hit a railing straight on and went straight to the bottom of the bridge down to the creek.  He also didn’t have his seatbelt on, so he flew through the windshield; and they said that he died instantly.” That evening I saw the report about his accident on the news, and I started crying again.  I cried myself to sleep that night and many nights since.
 

My mom always says if my dad were here he would have come back for me, and I believe that. I made a scrapbook of my dad and me, which I have.  I have a dog chain of my dad’s, and I have his clothes. My most treasured are the memories of fun and great times with my dad.  I visit his grave every Father’s Day. Seeing my friends with their dads hurts me.  I know that I have mom with me.  She is my dad and mom in one. No matter what, I will always love my dad. I know he is looking down from heaven, and he is very proud of me.