“Somewhere between 160 and 295 billion pounds of food ($165 billion - about 40% of our food) is thrown away every single year, which is the equivalent of filling a 90,000 seat football stadium to the brim at least once every single day”

This statistic hits close to home because of my own experience with eating, thanks to my unhealthy relationship with food. I am victim of being both a member of the “clean plate” club and a disposer of my supposed-to-be-breakfast granola bars. On days when my self-esteem is low, my tolerance for food is even lower- I restrict, count calories, track fat, and do whatever it takes to make sure I do not eat any more than the bare minimum. Picking at my food or taking snacks that I know I do not plan on eating later and then discarding it are horrible habits I practice on these days. At times, even when I do not want to be eating the food myself, I feel guilty that I chose to not eat, and even worse throw away, something that someone else could have had. Last year, the guilt eventually got to me and I began distributing that food that my locker was accumulating to homeless people I would see on the PAT bus ride home.

On the other hand, having so many days when I would scarcely eat made me appreciate the days I gave my body permission to indulge so much more. I would eat everything in sight and finish every morsel of food put in front of me. A part of this stemmed from my loss of ability to feel hunger since I had trained my stomach and mind to become immune to the feeling. I still have trouble knowing when I actually need to eat and when to stop, since I rarely perceive a feeling of hunger. Regardless, my starved body attempted to make up for the damage I had done as a chronic waster.

In my mind, food is a complex issue. It appears to be that way in the context of our world as well.