Striving for Happiness | Teen Ink

Striving for Happiness

December 16, 2015
By Graham14 BRONZE, Stewartville, Minnesota
Graham14 BRONZE, Stewartville, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The world wants me to strive for happiness. The world wants me to decide where I want to go and what I want to do, and the world wants me to do this here and now. The world wants me to decide all of this so that I’m better prepared for the future, better prepared to make something of myself. The world pairs my happiness with money and worldwide success. What the world doesn’t know is that happiness is an everyday affair. My happiness depends on choices I make everyday, and there are many paths to my happiness. The world doesn’t understand that money isn’t what makes you happy. It isn’t fame that makes you happy. What makes me happy is the job I have and the way I treat people around me. What will make me happy is a unity  between my personal life, my family life, and my job.


First, the beginning of my happiness is me. Ayn Rand quite intelligently says, “Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values”. My values are individually me; I have the choice of deciding what I want to accept and reject. Ayn Rand sums up a complex idea in her quote: if I am happy then I must be at peace with myself. Being at peace with yourself - or accepting yourself - is a very daunting task. Peace isn’t achieved one weekend at my beach house, peace is achieved through dedication to the task. My inner happiness is a balance between putting too much pressure on myself and being indifferent about my actions. Both have negative side effects. For example, when I put too much pressure on myself to succeed I lose all value in what I’m doing. As I am a high-school student, this is seen when I learn. Pushing myself too hard to achieve an A is not a healthy way to handle my education. I will be pressured to skip out on memorable experiences with friends, and if I don’t succeed with an A then I shame myself into trying harder next chapter or test. Eventually, I will have to come to terms with myself. I’ll have to accept that a perfect A isn’t always possible, and that my self worth isn’t decided by a grade. Also, I would have to accept my classes as a way to learn more about the world other than an ongoing challenge to succeed.


On the other end of the spectrum is being indifferent about my life. I, like most people, have a part of myself that wants to procrastinate on tasks I find a bore and indulge myself with a personal hobby instead. When I do this too much my life becomes more and more difficult. I’ll lose track of what is important to me; I’ll lose the importance of my values, and it will get easier and easier to accept a lesser version of myself. I’ll be accepting a version that is not intentional with important tasks. A version of myself that finds peace in procrastinating. When my personal values are being compromised, for example: dedication, is when I know I am suffering from an indifference of my life. This brings me back to the main point, my personal happiness is decided by me. I need to choose a path that isn’t too vigorous, but also isn’t too relaxed. I need to find a version of myself that has an intensity with healthy hobbies like singing, but can also find time to relax and read a book or watch a movie. When I am happy, I’ll find that I get to participate in life, not have to, and this is decided by me.


The people who are directly affected by my personality are my family, and creating a unity between my family and me is the next step in finding ultimate happiness. For me, my family is tightly knit. We have certain hobbies and values we share. Our faith and values are two examples of strong ties that hold my family and I together. We love each other and when someone is hurt, we help them through their difficulty. My family sounds like a picture perfect pastel colored painting, but in truth we’re far from it. “I know why families were created with all their imperfections. They humanize you”, said Anais Nin when she spoke about life experiences. It’s with this mindset that my family is able to work out problems.


What my family and I have recently begun is having a family meeting each month. We are able to talk freely about our individual problems, and then problems that affect the whole family. My family and I try to work out solutions for problems. One of my favorite writers, Christopher Paolini, said this, “Those whom we most love are often the most alien to us”. That being said, we must approach our family with that mindset; we have to get to know them. One problem brought up by my younger brother William is that I’m not spending enough time with him; I’m not getting to know him.  What he says is very true. I’m in soccer year round, multiple school groups, differing choirs, and on top of that I have homework every night. It’s been difficult for him and I to find some time where we can do something on our own. Our solution is that he and I do something every couple of weeks or once a month, and I totally support it. This one on one time allows William and I to develop a stronger relationship before I go off to college. We have been communicating, listening, and having more fun with each other since we’ve started this solution. We’ve been developing that family unity. Another positive reason I have agreed to spend time with William is I need time to relax with people I love. This isn’t only for William though, I can relax with all of my family members. Family game nights, family movies, and different nights out truly help my family become closer. In English this year, my class and I have to think of personal values - or better said - our core beliefs. One of my core beliefs is that strong family ties develops my character and helps to create a better future for myself. To create that unity I have to communicate well (which includes listening too), I have to respect my family member’s choices, and I have to have fun with them. My family plays a vital role in my overall happiness.


Finally, the unity of me, my family, and my job bring me a happiness that incorporates my whole life. The job I’m going to have will be based upon what I’ve learned growing up, my character, and my personality. For, a job has to be a bit of both. I’ve learned from Emerson and Thoreau that I need to pick a job that I truly enjoy and am devoted to. If I don’t, I’ll end up hating my job. If I hate my job, I’ll bring that home, and if I bring that home then I’ll be negatively affecting my wife and children. This is obviously a vicious cycle. Hopefully, no father wants to be a burden upon his family and friends. This is why choosing a job that reflects me is very important. I am a junior this year, and at every family reunion or when catching up with relatives I’m asked the question, “Do you have a major picked out, yet?” and until now I’ve answered, “No, I haven’t decided”. What has changed this past month is that I’ve realized that if I want to be happy I need to do something I love regardless of what it is. What’s scary about that is I don’t know if my job will work out or not. I don’t know what the end result is. While I don’t know exactly what is going to happen, if I believe in myself and am dedicated, then I’ll achieve my goal. This very outgoing part of my personality is based upon my family life, and the choices I make as a student in high school. Thoreau says it better than I, “Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them”. My job will reflect this quote. I hope to become a math teacher. I want to affect the world around me, “It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?” (Thoreau). What I’ve learned with time is that teaching and learning in school are two of the most important things we as humans can do. I would be helping to create a better generation. I would be an example and hopefully a role model for my students. I must consider the importance of the teaching, how teaching fits with my personality, and how teaching is supported by my upbringing with my family. With teaching and any job these three very important factors have to be represented. This is because if I want to enjoy my job after ten, twenty, or thirty years the job must reflect me. When my personality, family life, and job all come together, then I will have a fulfilled life.


A full life for me is where every aspect of personality is being met. Where I am being fulfilled in my personality, my family life, and my job. This is well represented by an excellent choral piece. Alone, the text of the piece is meaningful and I can learn from the message the text is portraying. Alone, the choral notes sung by the choir create beautiful chords and is expressing an emotion to me. Then put together, the notes provide an expressive sound to the valued text, and create a masterpiece of work. A direct parallel is when I put my personality and my family together, I create a perfect image of what I should accomplish as a job. Then, and only then will my life truly fit together, where I have striven for an all encompassing happiness.


The author's comments:

I hope by reading my article people will think more about their life. I hope people will try to work through problems with their family or with themselves, and will be committed to change what they are unhappy with. 


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