“Just close your eyes and enjoy the rollercoaster that is life”

Zayn,
It’s been four years now since I joined you on this unbelievable and exciting ride of yours. Along the way, together we’ve gone through countless ups and downs, sharp turns, terrifying drops and reassuring climbs. It has, quite literally, been a roller coaster of emotions, but in the end, I always knew that, when I was scared or things went wrong, you’d be right there to hold my hand and help me make it through. You’ve picked me up when I am down, and motivated me not to give up the fight. And, although you may not know it, I was there for you all along just like you were for me. Through the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, I supported you and believed in you. My unconditional love and admiration towards you went unfaltered by the constant rumors, and sometimes questionable decisions. We were there for each other, I felt, and so long as we were in it together, you could truly do no wrong. Each and every day the pride I felt in your achievements and accomplishments grew, so it was swelling largely in my chest. I remember every moment of it from the very beginning as though it were my last, and if not for you, it may have been. I remember the afternoon that you saved my life, your angelic voice breaking through my scrambled thoughts and self hate and providing that crucial moment of clarity. I remember the nights spent hidden in my room, watching all those videos and smiling, and laughing even, through my tears. I remember the first time I saw you live; I felt as though I were in the presence of an angel, the lights shining off your face as you smiled from the stage, I could not believe that someone as wonderful as you could actually be real. I remember watching you in that hospital in Africa, your emotions showing clearly on your face, and how I admired your honesty in how you felt and your compassion towards those around you. I remember at the concert, how you sang ‘Forever Young’, and I prayed that it was true, that there would never come a day where you outgrew the band, and your fans, and me. But, as impossible as it may have seemed, this ride, like all thrill rides seem to do, has ended all too soon, in the height of our excitement, leaving me with the adrenaline still rushing through my veins, wishing desperately for more. You always told us to close our eyes and enjoy the rollercoaster that is life, and with my eyes closed I almost thought I must be dreaming, and I guess I knew that all good things must come to an end, but now that my eyes are open wide, I know that it was all just too good to be true. I don’t quite know who I am without you, but I what I do know is that you gave me the best four years of my life and I will never forget that. So thank you Zayn, it’s been one hell of a ride.