As a child of about elementary age, I couldn’t wait to grow up. Just the thought of being older, getting to do more things, being independent; it was everything I ever wanted. Then before I knew it, adolescence knocked on my door, and I was dumb enough to open it. I feel like I don’t even remember half of what went on after that point. All I knew is that I wanted to get to high school. Everyone told me that high school is so much better and so much more fun than middle school and would exceed my already high expectations. It will be the time of my life! What I didn’t realize, however, was the look of sympathy, pity, and fear in their eyes. I know now that they might have stretched the truth...a lot.

They say the high school years are the best years. Well, “they”, whoever “they” are, lied. Yes, it can be good sometimes, but eventually all good things come to an end; they fly away through the window because they are afraid of the bad things coming. Now you’re stuck with the bad things, surrounding you until you break down in tears, feeling alone, feeling suffocated.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt something worse. That is the most severe pain, knowing that there is nothing you can do. Knowing that everyday is just another link on the endless chain. Bad days turn to worse days. Moods shift. Perspectives lost. Everything falls apart.

A true high school story is fake; no one ever tells the truth. People who you thought were your best friends, people who you thought would always stay true to you, people who you thought would stand up for you, screw you over in a heartbeat. People are always looking for the next best thing or person coming down the halls. When they find it, they push you aside, or shove you into a locker, or lose interest in you and scurry down the hall with their big backpacks to try to talk to someone else who is “better” than you. But the next day at school, the person who totally blew you off yesterday acts like you are their best friend, and you can’t do anything about it, because starting a fight would make the situation ten times worse. Other people would start choosing sides, and before you know it, you are all alone again, with nowhere to turn, and you have to apologize for something you never thought was wrong. I guess that just shows who the bigger person is, but wow, how I would love if someone actually apologized to me once in awhile.

In a true high school story, you would never hear about someone going to sleep early. If you go to sleep before midnight, you’re lucky. Past midnight, that is when the breakdowns start arising. At night, you are so mentally, physically, and emotionally drained that the last thing you want to do is homework. But you do it because you have to. You do it because of your grade. You do it for the points. The amount of homework in high school is astronomical. Just think about how much homework you could possibly have, and multiply that by ten. I don’t think anyone understands the amount of stress this puts on the students, besides, well, our fellow students. The teachers give insane amounts of work, but I don’t think they realize that the mountains of homework and the tests after tests after tests they give stress us to the breaking point.

This is true.

Ever since I can remember, I was always doing work after school. Not just, for example, an hour’s worth of work. No. I was always doing five, six hours. This homework is on top of going to school for a whole day, extracurricular activities after school, studying, and those few hours of precious sleep. I think to myself sometimes, does everyone have this much? Are teachers doing this on purpose? Do I only think I have so much because I don’t understand the lesson? This is where I panic. My anxiety starts to creep up on me like a tiger creeping up on its prey. My stress level goes through the roof. I feel like I’m drowning in the pool of homework. I can’t seem to find my way out of the mess of papers, and I break down. All I can do is try to get everything done, and go to sleep. I don’t even think about what the next day will bring.

If there is a silver lining to this crazy ride called high school, it is the fact that there are some true friends to be made, some fun times to be had, and some good memories that will last a lifetime. As a junior, I’m getting better at handling the good and the bad that high school is continuously hurling at me, yet the added pressure of getting into the “right” college lurks in every corner that I turn. That next experience will be here soon, but now I know not to ask anyone to describe how wonderful it is going to be.