Dear late-night coffee jitters, drooping eyelids, haphazard note scribbling, and information cramming,

I need some space.

I’m just not looking for a relationship right now. We have been seeing each other too often, and this is all happening so fast. College has only just begun for me, and I need to see what’s out there. I don’t want to be tied down to one form of studying, you know?

Don’t get me wrong; you mean a lot to me. You’re always there for me when I forget about some paper that’s due at 9AM or when I put off my reading all day because I was out doing some spontaneous, much needed, retail therapy. And I’ve learned a lot from my time with you. I’ve learned that I am capable of getting a lot done when I set my mind to it. I’ve learned that it’s important to set aside a specific time to study. I’ve learned that drinking copious amounts of coffee at three in the morning on an empty stomach is a really, really bad decision. I think what I mean to say is that I love you, but I’m not in love with you.

Because I value our friendship so much, I’m going to give it to you straight. I’m not going to sugar coat the truth like when your best friend asks you if her dress makes her look fat and you reply, “Of course not! A size bigger will give you that off-the-shoulder, carefree, bohemian look, though, and you could totally rock that.” I won’t demean you that way.

Well, here goes.

My issues with you begin with procrastination. You have this unfathomable ability to persuade me to do anything BUT what I am supposed to be doing. You try and force me to procrastinate because you know it is the only way I will spend time with you. There’s an essay due tomorrow? You convince me to reorganize my fridge first. I need to study for my psychology exam? You say, “Okay, but only after you go through your overflowing, spam-filled email from the seventh grade.” Whenever I am running out of excuses, you’re always recommending a new TV show or movie to watch. And you just know that there is no way I can stop to study in the middle of a House Hunters rerun! Heck, you’re so good at influencing me to procrastinate that I would even watch the ridiculously unending drama between twenty-something women as they cry, kick, and scream over some lousy guy on The Bachelor. Why do I continue to fall into your procrastination pitfalls? Because you promise that you will be there for me at two in the morning when I call you in tears over the 104 pages of reading due in seven hours. How can I say no to another episode of Friends when I know that you can just help me with my homework later?

Once I overcome your procrastinatory influence and finally start spending some quality time with you, I participate in some other unhealthy habits. I stare at my computer screen for hours on end, my eyes straining and my vision blurring. I forget to eat or drink because who has time for such trivial things when there are notes to review, flashcards to make, terms to memorize, books to annotate, math problems to solve? I refrain from taking breaks because it was hard enough to get focused to begin with. Most importantly, I don’t get enough sleep because I am spending so much time with you. And boy, do I love sleep. Probably because absence makes the heart yearn. I love him so much that I could run away to Vegas right now and marry him.

Bottom line is that I really need to work on myself right now, and I’ve decided to make some changes. I will try to study over several nights instead of cramming my study time all in the night before a test or paper is due. I will avoid procrastination as much as I avoid telling my friend that she looks fat in her dress. My studies are far more important than getting froyo with my friend’s roommate’s sister or reorganizing my closet for the third time this week. I will finish some assignments a few days early if I’m really feeling motivated! I’m just too dependent on you. I need to do my own thing.

You see, you’re a really good friend and all, but you’re not really “relationship material.” We’re just not on the same page, and I need to do what’s best for me, and what’s best for me is to distance myself from you. I know it sounds harsh, but that’s because it is. Our relationship is unhealthy, and I just have stop it before I end up hurting you.

With love (and a great amount of distance),

Someone who is ready for a good night’s rest