I pulled up waiting for the rest of the team to make it here. Once everyone was there we started the drive to Apple Valley for the game that day. We make it to the field and the first thing I smell after I step out the car is freshly cut grass. A lawnmower in the background accompanied by the sound of traffic out in the distance from the highway. We all make our way to the field before the start of the first game.

We start warming up before the first game, getting stretched out and ready for the game. We were all extremely pumped for this game because we earned our way into the tournament by winning our last game of the season a week ago. We were ready to show everyone what we were capable of doing even when the expectations were low. We went into the game with the mentality that nobody could beat us but that changed quickly after the first pitch of that game was thrown. We quickly realised that the team we were playing was one of the best teams we played all season. The first inning everyone that went up to bat was complaining about the speed of the pitcher. This kid went through our order without giving up a walk or a hit the first time through the order. Meanwhile on the other side when they were up to bat they scored 11 runs within five innings against our pitchers. When we got back up for the final times he made his only mistake of the game. I took a ball away and just pushed over the second baseman into right field and was the only person to get on base for our team. After the game was over I realized what I had just done and was extremely proud of what I did even though we still got the loss. After that game everyone walked over to the cars saddened by what just happened on the field but I was still proud of what I did out there on the field when I put all my effort into that at bat to break up the perfect game.

The second day of the tournament started out much slower. We all made it to the field before we left for Apple Valley but it seemed like nobody wanted to be there at the beginning. We left the field and started the trek to Quarry Park. Once we got there we made the same walk we did the day before and into the same dugout but once we got there it was a different energy than the day before, we had more guys that wanted to win and prove we belong in this tournament instead of just losing right away like most people thought we were going to do. We warmed up almost exactly the same as we did the day previous but we took it more serious and we all wanted to get a big win and come back the next day and try and win again. We started the game off hot, our first four hitters all got on base and we had two runs by the time the first inning was over. Jacob Mader was the person pitching for us and he threw a gem, through the first five innings he only had one baserunner and he was part of a double play. Jake got taken out in the sixth inning so we could save his arm for the rest of the tournament. We put in our only lefty and he had some troubles at the beginning with throwing strikes and hitting his spots, but eventually he settled in and finished out the game for us. We won twelve to four and were extremely happy with the way we played that day. We all left overjoyed and ready to come back again the next day and play even better.

Day three of the tournament. Same routine as every other day, leave town, get to the field, warm up, and everybody is a little more tired because it’s an earlier game than the other two we already played. Every is still pumped from yesterday after the big win but now we have a new opponent and they looked really good, before the game even started we knew we had to put everything into this game. Which is exactly what we didn’t do. From the first inning we were already mad because some of the calls on the field didn’t go, a kid was called safe at first on a close play and some of the balls and strikes weren’t called when they were strikes but when we went up to bat it got even worse. It felt like the strike zone was a foot bigger on each side for them and we had to hit a peanut to get a strike called when we were in the field. I started this game and I couldn’t handle that I wasn’t getting any strikes called and I wasn’t pitching with my full effort because I thought it didn’t matter anymore cause it wouldn’t change me throwing strikes but if I would have put full effort into it I could have turned that game around extremely quick. The pitching wasn’t the only downfall I had in that game, my hitting was even worse. I felt like I couldn’t swing the bat anymore. My entire body lost all hope to hit the ball and didn’t even want to play anymore.
My dad came over and asked me, “Why are you even playing if you aren’t going to try?”.

“I really just don’t want to be here right now.” I responded.

He left and walked back to his seat to finish watching the worst game we played all year. After it was over he just left and didn’t even say anything to me or anybody on the team. The coaches talked to us after the game about how entertaining the season was and that they hope they can coach us again next year. As a team we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for a final team dinner to finish the season off on a high note. After that we drove back to town and nobody was saying anything because we knew this was the final day of baseball for this summer. Everybody said by and we only saw each other out around town or at parties but there wasn’t anymore seeing everybody almost everyday and having team bonding in the dugout before the games, it was all over.

When I got home that night the first person to say anything to me was my dad, “What was wrong with you today?”
“What do you mean?” I responded
“You couldn’t throw a strike or get a hit to save your life out there.”

I didn’t know how to respond to him because I honestly didn’t know what happened today so all I said was, “I couldn’t tell you.”

“Think about it and tell me when you finally find out.” He told me.

The only thing that I could think of was that I didn’t want to be there but that wasn’t the answer. I wanted to be there and was extremely excited to be pitching and playing in this tournament. After a few long nights thinking about the tournament I finally had an idea about why I played the way I did in the last game.

“I wasn’t trying because I thought since we won one game we could win them all easy and I didn’t feel like I needed to put 100% into the game and I would still pitch a no hitter and go 4-4.” I told my dad a few days later when we were talking about it again.

“How are you going to change that the next time you play?”, he asked me.

“I’m going to put 100% of my abilities into every inning of every game that I play from here on out no matter what the outcome may be.” He smiled subtly and I knew from that moment on that I couldn’t go into stuff not giving my all if I want the outcome to go my way. 

For the rest of the summer I relaxed and worked out until soccer started up and a new chapter of my life started and I knew it would take my all to play soccer at the top levels along with fall baseball that was also approaching. I needed this experience to show me how giving your all doesn’t just happen, you have to be focused and ready no matter what is happening on the field.  Nothing can be taken too seriously and everything is affected by the amount of effort you put into it.