Hi. The hardest word to say when you’re shy. The hardest word for me for a long time, because for sixteen years of my life it was awkward smiles and head drops. As time went by the loud kids got louder and I got quieter. I became a part of the background, someone who was just there. As the years passed I drew more and more into myself. My freshman year of high school started and I had one friend. A girl I met on the bus on the first day. I didn’t make any other friends that year. It was one of the worst years of my life. Shy felt like a disease that I couldn’t find the cure to.

I spent so many years of my life just listening to others and not thinking my opinion was worth sharing. It wasn’t until my junior year of high school things started to change. I decided to take a photography class that I couldn’t have felt more than an outsider in. From only being in the class one time, one measly time, my anxiety shot through the roof and I couldn’t handle it. I emailed my guidance teacher that night looking for a different class to be in. There weren’t many options but I decided on creative writing, it was the best decision of my life.

From the moment I saw Ms. Rispoli I knew that her class would be my favorite. Her kind nature and ability to care for each and every student that walked into her classroom was what saved me. She kept in mind my shy nature and didn’t force me to participate unlike all of my teachers before her. She helped me to speak up and come out of my shell more. It was the beginning of a long and rough journey. At the end of the year I wasn’t much further than I had been at the start but I had the foundation that would set me up for success.

Right before my senior year I had a bit of eureka moment. After a wonderfully relaxing vacation ending in a depressing break up I was finally ready to fully be myself. I said screw everything and everyone I was going to say what made me happy, I was going to wear what made me feel good about myself, and I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me I couldn’t. I started talking to more people showing them who I am and actually making friends. Even Though I’ve come so far I know I have a long way to go and that there is no cure to something like shyness because it's a gift. It lets me see people for who they are and to accept them in every way because I know how it feels to be the outsider. The experiences I’ve had gave me the ability to be open minded and finally begin to be comfortable with myself.