The first five years of my life were a blur. I didn't understand how anything worked, especially not life. Not until the day I saw my mom sitting on the kitchen floor, sobbing loudly into her hands.

I remember that one cold day in March. How everything had felt so… dull and sad. My day in my kinder class was normal and boring. I thought everything was going to go the same, but clearly, I was wrong.

Once I got home, I ate some warm soup and decided to go to my room and play with Max, my favorite stuffed animal. The house was full of silence except for some occasional crying and whining from my baby sister.
A few minutes later, a horrible cry broke the silence. I was so frightened. All I could hear was a loud sob coming from the kitchen. I panicked. I ran to my mom’s room. But she wasn't there. As I ran out the room, I could hear my little sister crying behind me in her crib. I ignored it and kept running toward the kitchen. That’s where I saw my mom, sitting on the kitchen floor, sobbing loudly into her hands with her phone on her lap.

I was so confused; what had happened? I ran to my mom and hugged her asking “Mommy, what happened?” She couldn't control her sobs. I ran to the fridge and got her some water so she could calm down a bit. As she sipped on the water, I could still see many tears forming in her eyes. She was finally a bit calm and was able to speak. I asked once again what had happened. And as I stared into her red, watery eyes, she began to speak.

“Tu…tu abuelo” she stuttered. My grandpa? I was so confused. “What’s wrong with abuelo?” I asked beginning to become a bit worried as tears began trickling down her cheeks once again. “Fa…fall…” she kept struggling to get the words out. “What? Mommy!” I was getting anxious. I just wanted her to blurt it out already!

“Fallecio” she finally said with a sigh. No, that’s not possible. He can’t be dead! My grandpa, dead before I even got the chance to meet him. It just wasn't fair!

I hadn't even noticed I was in my bedroom, crying and yelling at the top of my lungs, “No!” until my mom came in trying to calm me down. I just wanted it all to be a bad dream… a really bad dream. I wanted to fall into a deep slumber and never wake up.

But even though I did fall into that deep slumber I wished for, the moment I’d awakened, it was as if I was back in the nightmare from the day before.